CHAPTER 35

Emmy Alice, Avery, Brie, and I are sitting on the side of the house on the small porch enjoying the night air while we snack on some sweet treats. The guys ride up on their bikes and my mouth drops. Carter looks so sexy getting off his bike. I don’t see anyone else but him taking his helmet off and shaking his shaggy hair.

“Well damn, that’s a fine sight. I’m not even straight, but damn those guys are sexy with their bikes,” Alice comments.

I always knew she was into girls, not that she was opposed to guys, she just preferred girls. Alice has never been ashamed of who she is. I’ve always admired her for that.

“Alright ladies pick up your jaws from the ground,” Alice loves being a smart ass.

The guys walk up to us after putting their bikes away in the garage. Carter kisses me, and Bex kisses Avery. They join us for a bit, then we all head back into the manor to get rest. I still wouldn’t be joining them for training tomorrow. I haven’t been cleared by Travis yet, who I still can’t believe is my real father even though I know he is. I think I always knew on some level that William wasn’t really my father.

I never felt connected to William, but I thought it was because he was gone a lot with business trips and vacations that weren’t appropriate for children. Sometimes I thought it was because he loved the twins more than me because I was his mistake, the child he didn’t want. The funny thing was, it turned out I wasn’t not even his kid, so he would have been in the right not to want me. I still don’t fully understand why Travis and my mom felt the need to hide me or lie for that matter. There had to have been a better way. Would the three of us ever get a chance to be a family?

The healing wing is my new residence while I’m still healing. I want to go back to my room with my friends and sleep in my comfy bed, but nope I’m stuck in a stupid hospital bed. The beds aren’t that bad, but still, I prefer the bunk bed. It’s so fluffy, it was like sleeping on a cloud and I love it. I get into the bed and Luna curls up with me. I’m tired from being up and about. Stupid poison really did a number on me. Plus, with my dark magic waking, it makes a combo to tire out anyone’s soul, mind, and body.

I lay in bed thinking about the internal war I have going on within me. The darkness and the light battling it out, trying to outdo the other. Travis promises that I will find a balance at some point. I hate feeling conflicted. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve been conflicted most of my life. I was always fighting a battle inside of me. I just never knew why or what it was, but now that I did it all made sense. My current problem is that I’m having trouble controlling the dark magic in me.

My light magic didn’t take me long to master. The first few weeks were a bit rough, but I managed. However, the dark magic is not so easy to control. It probably didn’t help that I kept it suppressed for so long either. I feel out of control, like at any moment I might go back to the Emmy in the woods.

I was so consumed with anger. I scared myself with how little I cared. How I could have hurt anyone even those I love and care about. This magic is different, and more dangerous. I recall the vision of the Enchantress being consumed by the darkness. I fear I’m at risk to become like her if I don’t control my dark magic soon.

As if he was reading my thoughts, which he probably was, Travis appears in my room.

“Unfortunately, you are at risk to become like the Enchantress which is exactly what she wants. Dark magic is much harder to control, and for you it’s going to be even harder because you have light magic as well. It’s a battle you will always have to fight but with learning to control it will make it easier. Let me help you.”

“I do need help. I’m struggling to put myself together. My dark magic is so much to handle. I know I’m strong, but if I don’t get ahold of it soon it won’t matter how strong I am.”

“I know. I can see your struggle. Everyone else doesn't see it. They think you are acting weird because you are having a hard time dealing with your emotions.”

“They doubt my strength. I can sense it. They don’t understand what’s happening to me.”

“No, they don’t. Dark magic is very misunderstood. It’s so taboo in the magic world that no one takes the time to understand it. If they did, they would be able to help a lot more people. Little Bird I’m the only one who can help you with this.”

“I know. Why do you call me that? It was mom's nickname for me. How did you know about it?”

Travis grins.

“I was there when she gave it to you. She gave it to you shortly after you were born. You reminded her of a little helpless baby bird that was destined for greatness. She always said you were meant to fly. Your mom always knew you would spread your wings and fly away, that you would always find your way. You have no idea how much she loved you, how it killed her to keep things from you. Your mom struggled with her own demons. Much to her regret. She wanted nothing more than for the three of us to be a normal family.”

“I don’t believe in normal, but then again I’m not normal,” I state as I sit up in bed. “Everyone has their own version of normal. Normal is nothing more than what one thinks it should be.”

“You are wise, Little Bird.” Travis smiles at me. Looking at him, I couldn’t believe I was looking at my father. He didn’t seem real to me, but he is. It was nice to have someone who understood what I was going through. I love Carter, my family and friends, but right now they can’t help me, and they don’t understand the war within my soul.

“Where do you feel comfortable or safe at?” His question throws me off guard.

“At mom’s grave site. Well, I guess her fake grave site, but I used to spend hours sitting on the ground leaning against her tombstone. There was just something comforting about the eeriness of the cemetery.”

Travis offers me his hand and I take it. In seconds we are at the cemetery and I’m face to face with my mom’s fake tombstone. I always hoped she wasn’t dead. Maybe deep down inside I knew she wasn’t dead. My perception was always good. I think I have always known the answers. Knowing the truth, I just wasn’t ready for it to be real. Things are easier to accept when they are ideas rather than reality. Reality is always harder to come to grips with, unless it is just an idea, a thought, and nothing more.

I don’t know why Travis brought me here or how we got here so fast.

“We teleported. Dark magic, Little Bird, makes many things that seem impossible possible, even to those who have regular magic. Those with regular magic are limited to what they can do, but dark magic unlocks the mind. It unlocks everything, making nothing impossible.”

I nod my head. I’m starting to realize that with dark magic not much was off limits. I could bend reality if I wanted to. I don’t want to do that, but I know if I wanted to do it I could. I’m powerful, and I can feel that power course through my veins. Overtaking my being, consuming my soul, and making me something dangerous.

I’m no longer a victim, and I won’t let myself be one ever again. I’ve found my strength deep within myself. I’ve found the will to survive and move forward. I will somehow find a way to overcome my dark side and fight to save both worlds that mean so much to me.

I lean down and touch my mom’s gravestone. “I miss her.” I say quietly.

“I miss her too. We will find a way to save her and if we can’t then we have each other. She would want us to be strong.”

Travis puts a hand on my shoulder, and I take a deep breath. His words touch deep within my soul. I know he is right. Knowing my mom is alive is a game changer. I know we will do everything to save her, and if we can’t then at least I have my dad.

There was a soft wind that blew, and I found comfort in it. I’ve come to the realization that the only way I’m going to save the world, my mom, and myself is to get a hold of my dark magic. To bring balance within myself. It’s not going to be easy, but I know I’m strong enough to face this.

“I need to get a hold of my dark magic. I have to control it. Or else the Enchantress can use it against me, but I don’t know if I can do that back at the manor. I think I need to leave for a bit just until I have a hold on my dark magic. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone and right now I’m too unpredictable. I don’t feel stable.” I admit, but I think Travis is aware of how unstable I am.

Travis nods his head.

“I have a cabin in the woods where we can go; I can teach you how to master your dark magic so that you find the balance you need to be stable. I agree, I don’t think you can learn what you must in the manor at this point. You will have to go back because you need to learn to work with your team, but right now you are unstable, and we need to fix that. I don’t know how long it will take though. You might be away from them for months. You won't be able to have contact with them. Are you okay with that?”

I nod my head. I didn’t like the idea of not being able to talk to my friends, Carter or my family, but I have no choice. Hurting them would be so much worse than temporarily leaving to get control of myself. My dark magic is making me unstable and that is not a good thing. It makes me unpredictable and a prime target for the Enchantress and that puts all of us in danger.

Back at the manor I write a quick note and take Luna with me. I’ve never been good at goodbyes and I know a note is lame, but I also can’t risk them trying to stop me. They won’t want me to leave, they won’t understand. They probably think they can help me here at the manor, but they don’t know what they would be dealing with. Only Travis can help me right now. I hope they understand, I hope they know I love them all and that I must do this.

Part of being strong is knowing when you need to get help, and I need help right now. I will not end up like the Enchantress, I will not hurt the ones I love. That vision she showed me will never come true, and that’s why I have to temporarily leave.

I take my weapons and pack a few things. Everyone is still at the training field. I will be gone by the time they get back. I know leaving will hurt them, but in truth they will understand and forgive me at some point. My bonds with them are strong enough to survive this. I’ll be back, I won't be gone forever. When I do come back, I will be able to be the proper leader they need me to be.

With everything I need, Travis and I teleport away from the manor to the cabin he has in the woods. We are nowhere near the manor, my friends, my love Carter, or my family. I’m on my own for right now and I’m oddly okay with that. It’s because I know this is what's best for myself and for those I love.

Travis puts a hand on my shoulder as Luna whins next to me for me to pet her.

“It will be okay, Little Bird. They will understand. You aren’t leaving them forever, just for a little bit. Soon you will be back with them. It will be like you never left. Let’s get you settled in and then we can start your training.”

I nod my head, and head into the small cabin. Luna is hot on my heels. This is it. The choice had been made, and now all I could do was pick up the shattered pieces of myself and my world and find a way to put it back together again.