Chapter 51 Sly friendship
Celine’s POV
I felt heavy, like life was drained out of me. My eyes were wet, but I didn't let them let out a tear. But this thought going through my mind was worse than the tears that would have wet my cheeks and the spot of the bed my head laid on.
He was messing around with most girls of this pack.
But he told me there was a connection between us, what about it?
Or he simply played me as he’d played other girls.
I’d felt sleepy some hours ago, but as of this moment, I'd lost that dizziness. My head hurt. And I didn't know I had fallen too deep with him to the extent of not being able to find sleep. It was close to an obsession.
All because of him.
Against my efforts to stop the tears, they came rolling down my cheeks, warm and cold at the same time, washing the feeling of pain all over my face.
And what if I was just a plaything to someone that I was starting to think I would start a life with?
Then I was a complete joke, and lacked good judgement. To think I'd even refused Lila’s advice, causing a possible tear in my relationship with her for someone who didn't even care.
A knock on the door pulled me off my train of thought.
But I didn't move.
I stayed in the same position on the bed like I didn't hear a sound.
That feeling that I was trash had come again. It was then I understood that the feeling was my instinct trying to warn me against him, asking me to stop whatever attraction I was getting under the disguise of “mate bond.”
I wasn't even sure about that. But that was a possibility.
The knock continued. Whoever was standing outside the door should have left already, but this person was just too consistent in knocking.
“Celine.”
Mira?
I hadn't asked for a meal. Why was she at the door?
Without another knock or waiting for me to ask her to come in, she pulled the door open, the candle light she had pinned to a saucer stinging my eyes.
“Sorry…” she muttered.
I turned to the other side of the bed to wipe my eyes off the tears.
“I came to check on you,” she said.
“Yeah.” I sat upright. “I’m completely fine.” I forced a smile on my lips.
“I noticed you didn't have dinner.”
“I didn't? Oh it's because I'm not hungry.”
Her eyes were scrutinizing me. She didn't believe that.
My stomach growled.
“It's not too late to have dinner,” she said.
“No… I'm not hungry.”
“Your stomach growled, wasn't that a sign.”
“It's been part of me. It always happens on occasions like this.”
She placed the saucer on the table, and sat beside me. We hadn't had another conversation since the last time she met me in an unconscious state after self-harming. But I always felt this friendship signal from her.
“I’ve always been worried about you.”
She placed my hand in hers. “There's so much going on.”
“I don't know much.”
“I’ve been in this palace for years.”
“You have?”
“Yes.” She smiled softly. “And there's this little secret I have—my mother is the chef you met in the kitchen, and no one knows that.”
She let out a soft laugh. I joined her. I didn't decide if it was funny or not, but maybe it was because of the way she said it.
Sometimes funny statements depend on how they are being said.
“And you just told me a grave secret that no one is supposed to know,” I said.
“As a form of trade.”
“Trade on what? How?”
“Just so you know I can be a form of friend.”
Maybe I was supposed to take some time to think about this. Two different people throwing themselves at me as friends in a single day, wasn't it something to worry about?
But I had nothing to make her decide to become friends with me. Nothing except the kind of traumatic experiences I had buried deep in my mind that sometimes surfaced.
“What is this about?” I asked.
“I have noticed your relationship with Alpha Tristan, in fact everyone knows.”
“Hmmm…. I thought there was a relationship.”
She arched her eyebrows. “Is that so?”
“I was just one of those girls.”
“One of those girls… there are other girls?”
“I found out.”
“Oh…”
The look in her face told me there was something more she wanted to say, but wanted to test the waters.
“You have something to share with me.”
Her palms were busy rubbing against each other, and her eyes were targeted on the wall like she was reading a script from it, a script that would decide whatever she had to say.
“Mira?”
“Yes?”
“You have something to share with me?”
“I overheard your conversation with Zara.”
“Okay…”
And I didn't intend to bring up the topic of my conversation with Zara. That trashy feeling had overwhelmed my thoughts, and it was already hard trying to suppress it.
Calling it out only scratched it so I felt all over again from the start.
“She said some certain things about Alpha Tristan, and I thought it would be better if I told you the truth so she doesn't manipulate you.”
My interest was piqued. “That must be thoughtful of you, so what are those things?”
“Messing around with other girls is the least thing he could do. He hasn't done that.”
“But he had promised many about becoming his mate.”
“That isn't true.”
“What?”
That was a wild turn I didn't expect.
“It isn't true.”
“So you mean Zara lied to me?”
“Yes she did.”
“But why would she?”
She held my two hands, not just one so I faced her, her knee raised to be on the bed. “You should know that already.”
“I don't understand.”
“But you know they are lovers?”
“Yes, so…”
“That's what it's all about.”
“Trying to make me leave so she has him for herself… can't Tristan decide what he wants?”
There was silence between us.
I almost fell for Zara’s lies. It had come subtle and convincing to my ears. And I would have ruled Tristan to be a liar.
Mira squeezed my hand softly. “But that isn't a guarantee either.”
“A guarantee about what?”
“That Tristan is perfect in his ways.”
“I’m not perfect, no one is perfect, not even you.”
“That fact is always established.”
Then what was it with Tristan not being perfect?
“What do you mean?”
She went silent again. Another round of hesitation that put my thoughts and mind in another suspense.
Maybe I should also consider why she was telling me all these. No, she already did—a token of friendship. She didn't need to gain anything by telling me anything.
“His darkness.”
I let go of her hands. His darkness. His chaos.
But there was nothing for me to understand. An action of his could have given me a clue, but there was nothing to hold on to.
“Tell me about it.”
“Celine, I need to leave.”
“But… you haven't explained that to me.”
“Sorry, some other time.”
“Wait—”
She already walked out.
Everything was too complicated, too complicated that I could only find myself in the shadows. In the shadows I wasn't familiar with.
I laid my head back on the bed.
The ache in my head subsided when Mira came in, but another thought about Tristan had brought it back.
My heavy eyes fell on the door. “Lila… you’ve been standing there…”