Chapter 14 A strange act
Lila’s POV
“Celine… Don’t…” I rushed to hold her.
Tears streaked down her cheeks, but it wasn’t just about the tears—she was harming herself with her own fingers. Something I’d never seen anyone do. One of the strangest things I’d ever witnessed.
And the blood that spilled from her palms soaked into my dress.
What made her do that?
I imagined she hated herself, but none of this could truly be her fault. She must have been happy before stepping foot into this palace.
Her body grew so hot as she shivered, digging her bloodied fingers into her hair, attempting to inflict pain on herself by any means. She couldn’t reach a knife or sharp object, so she improvised—with her fingers. Self-harming.
It reached the point where I just stood watching her, like I was staring at a ghost.
“Celine… please stop this.”
Her ears seemed deaf to me, and I stepped back from her, my feet landing on the messy floor she’d caused by spilling meat and soup. I just let her be.
Her loud screams filled the room. I stood frozen, waiting for her to calm down.
Soon, she took her hands off her hair, dropping them slowly onto her thighs and lifting her gaze to me.
“You’ve been here… this whole time?”
“I didn’t leave you.”
Her eyes moved over her fingers, her thighs, her gown, and the messy floor—as if she’d just regained consciousness or been reborn into the world of werewolves as a human.
Werewolves who lost control could do crazy things, but self-harming was still one of the strangest acts I’d ever seen.
“I did all this?” She spread her arms out. “I… I was lost in my mind. I didn’t realize I went this far.”
“I know you didn’t,” I said, sitting beside her and patting her back. “The emotions took you without notice.”
“Perhaps.”
“And I guess you feel relieved?”
“I don’t know.”
Of all things about her, what I paid attention to was her face—how her eyes had stopped letting out tears, replaced by the paleness of her skin. I touched her cheeks, so soft I feared her skin might peel off.
“Let me get someone to clean this off, right?” I rose from the bed.
After another look at her, I decided to cover her up with one of the blankets from the wardrobe. She pulled it around herself, embracing the warmth it offered.
“Mira,” I called when I stepped outside the door. “Get a mop and a broom. I need you to clean this room.”
She hesitated before leaving to fetch them. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know if she had any issue with me.
I went back inside, thinking of how to make Celine feel better. It would be an achievement if she began to trust me—as a friend and as a mother. That could fill an empty space within her.
“You’ll need hot tea,” I said.
“Anything.” Her eyes didn’t meet mine, still fixed on the spilled food.
Then I realized—I shouldn’t have acted the way I did toward her, not considering the journey she’d been through.
It started with her trying to escape her parents’ home, trying to escape the same claws of death that had gripped them. I imagined she’d been alone for a time I couldn’t measure before ending up in the hands of werewolves—and meeting her lover, who betrayed her.
“I’ll get it after the maid finishes cleaning up this room.”
I wasn’t going to leave her alone with the maid.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Who’s that?” I asked cautiously.
“Mira.”
“Come in.”
She entered with the mop. Celine’s eyes followed her every move.
Was there something between them? Had Celine met her before?
That seemed too unlikely.
“Why the sudden change?” Celine asked.
The sudden change.
Mira didn’t answer. She kept cleaning, as though she hadn’t heard the question. Or maybe the question was meant for me?
Oh—it was. It should be.
“Change of what?” I asked, moving closer.
She shook her head, her eyes still on Mira. “You were all nice a few hours ago. You even went as far as asking if we could take some time together. What was that for?”
Mira paused.
Wait… that was strange. There was something between them—and I didn’t know about it?
“What’s that about?” I asked.
Mira turned to face me. “I was following orders, ma’am.”
“Orders from who?”
“Alpha Tristan.”
That explained everything. I understood what had transpired without hearing the rest.
“Clean and leave,” I said.
Celine didn’t push further. She just shifted her gaze between us, then pulled the blanket tighter around herself.
Mira opened the door, her eyes lingering on Celine like she wanted to apologize.
“Just leave,” I told her.
The room fell silent again, with only Celine and me in it.
“He also asked me to stop knocking… when I stood outside his room… through mindlink.”
She stared at me for a while without speaking. I tried to imagine what she was thinking. Had telling her this only grieved her more? I hoped not. But she deserved the truth—or at least part of it.
“He seduced me,” she said. “But I don’t blame him. I don’t blame myself.”
She no longer blamed herself. At least she’d escaped guilt.
But I didn’t know what to say. If I was honest, I didn’t even know what she meant by blame. Maybe it was something deeper than I thought. If it matched my assumption, she wouldn’t have lost control enough to harm herself.
“No one blames you for anything,” I finally said.
“You do,” she replied. “But it’s not just about you.”
My brows furrowed. “What is it about?”
“It’s also about the conflicting feelings I have about him…”
“Alpha Tristan?”
“Yes. And you know why his seduction worked so well on me?”
Was I supposed to ask?
“My deep loneliness,” she started before I could respond. “He could sense every inch of it…” Her hazel eyes grew wet again. “And he used it to his advantage—”
“Celine.” I tried to stop her. “That isn’t important.”
“It is.”
“But—”
“He called it consummation, and what’s strange is that I also felt it too.” Her jaw tightened. “I enjoyed the pleasure. But… the war inside me… it clawed at me…”
It was getting tense between us, and I feared she’d lose control again. I wrapped my arms around her.
“It’s alright. I’m here now. No more loneliness.”
Then she stared hard at me. I almost melted under that gaze.
“You haven’t told me who you are.” Her words cut through me like daggers.
I took my arms off her shoulders. I couldn’t tell her. It wasn’t the right time—or place.
“I knew your parents.”
“That’s all you’ve told me so far. Why keep it a secret when it’s that important?”
I got off the bed, and her eyes followed me until I reached the door.
“I’ll get you tea. It’ll help you relax.” I held the doorknob.
She didn’t say another word, just kept staring at me—a suffocating gaze I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.
Her hands moved around her neck. “Lila.”
Her frown deepened. She looked at the bed, tossing aside the blanket and the bedspread.
“My necklace…” Her voice trembled. “I can’t find it.”