37. Claire: Return

*CLAIRE*

I startle awake, disoriented and groggy from sleep, to find myself still on the couch in my apartment. Remnants of the seemingly endless night of waiting with Vivian and Rachel still sit cluttered on the coffee table.

The creak of a door opening draws my attention and I struggle to get my blurry hazy gaze to focus.

Vivian stands by the front door, her hand on the doorknob, and before I can fully register what's happening, Nik strides into the room. His eyes find mine instantly, and a mixture of relief and concern floods through me at the sight of him.

He looks tired, the weariness etched into the lines of his face and the heavy droop of his shoulders. As the soft gray light of sunshine filters through the window, casting a gentle glow over the room, I realize why. It’s morning.

*He's been up all night, searching for Felix*.

The realization hits me like a physical blow, and I push myself upright, the remnants of sleep falling away as I hold the intensity of Nik’s gaze. All I want to do is jump up from the couch and run into Nik’s arms. To wrap my arms around him and feel his heartbeat against my cheek. I manage to hold myself back though, reminding myself that we don’t have that kind of relationship. Not really. He may have been that person for me for a few days, but it can’t be like that anymore. *It can’t be*.

“What happened?” I ask, my voice a quiet rasp, my heart pounding in my chest as I wait for his response. “Did you find anything?”

At my question, his lips tighten into a grim line and my stomach sinks in silent understanding at the sight of it. *They didn’t find anything.*

Nik’s head shifts toward the woman still sitting beside me on the couch, but his attention lingers on me,“Thank you for your help tonight Rachel. Go home and get some sleep. Someone will be by to replace you soon.”

“Of course, Alpha,” Rachel says with a respectful nod. The air in the room is tense as she tucks a strand of her chin length black hair behind her ear and quickly gathers her belongings.

“Do you need a ride home?” Nik asks her as she reaches the door, his attention still focused on me. His eyes dip to where I’m anxiously picking at my cuticles. I hadn’t even realized I had been doing it and quickly tuck my hands beneath my thighs, out of sight.

“I’m good.” Rachel says with a nod, “I’ll just shift and run home.”

Vivian and Nik thank her again as she disappears out my front door, relocking the deadbolt on the door behind her when she’s gone. Nik lets out a long tired sigh and his long tanned fingers tug roughly through the thick black strands. His hair looks windswept and as he steps further into the room I catch the faint scent of cold mountain air and pine clinging to his clothes.

Vivian eyes him with pursed lips, her arms crossed over her chest, “Any new leads?”

“Not yet,” he says, voice grim, “His scent trail cut off abruptly on our land’s west border and never picked back up. We’ll find him though. It’s only a matter of time.”

Vivian and Nik exchange information about the logistics of the new guard patrols along the borders, but I barely hear them. My brain struggles to make out what they’re saying as my thoughts circle, repeating Nik’s words over and over. *We’ll find him. We’ll find him. It’s only a matter of time.*

My spiraling thoughts cut off when Nik crouches in front of me. His dark eyes catch mine with an intensity that has my breath catching in my throat and my heart skips a beat. His hands moves as if to touch me, but stop suddenly before they reach me. His arms drop away, clenching into a fist at his side. Relief and disappointment flicker through me in equal parts.

“Are you alright?” He asks, voice strained.

I nod. “Are you?”

He nods. His jaw clenches, dark eyes flickering over my face. I’m desperate to know what he’s thinking about. My eyes catch and linger on the dark circles beneath his eyes. He must be exhausted. *Of course he is*. He’s been up for over forty eight hours. *For me*.

All I want to do is lean forward and press myself into his hard chest and feel his strong arms wrap around me, but I force myself to keep my place on the couch.

*It’s just the after effects of the Heat. It’s fine. Don’t make things weird, Claire.*

“Did everything go smoothly here?” He asks Viv.

“Of course,” she answers. “Everything’s been quiet.”

“Good.” Nik rises from his crouch in front of me and steps back. His expression shifts into what I consider to be his *Alpha* face. Overly serious and assuming control. The sight of it sends heat shooting through me to my center, and my thighs compulsively clench together.

“You should go get a few hours of sleep,” he says, still speaking to Viv, “I’ll stay here while you rest and another guard will join you when you’re ready.”

More guards? I cringe at the idea of more people I don’t know being forced to sit around and babysit me. I’m suddenly reminded of the conclusion I’d come to last night— the decision I’d made to no longer let Felix's actions dictate how I live my life. I won't allow fear to hold me hostage any longer. I won’t allow it to keep me from living my life.

I take a deep steadying breath.

“You don’t need to send anyone else,” I cut in quickly.

Two sets of eyes swivel in my direction.

“Yes. I do.” Nik says slowly, in a tone that allows no room for argument. “I’m not going to leave you by yourself.”

“I won’t be alone at work. I’ll be safe enough at the library—”

Nik cuts me off with a low growl, “You won’t be *going* to work.”

“Of course I’m going,” I say, my spine straightening with my resolve, “I’ve taken too much time off already.”

Nik’s jaw clenches, “I’ll take care of it. Emily will give you the time off.”

I have no doubt that she will if it’s her Alpha who’s asking her to. But that doesn’t mean that she should. Even though I haven’t been there for very long, I genuinely care about the people I work with in the library. Emily and Sarah and Jake. I don’t want to put them in a bad situation, forcing them to cover for me by working overtime again and again.

“I can’t just leave them in the lurch anymore,” I argue calmly, “I already took off the last few days without warning.”

Nik’s voice is a rough growl, “Claire, the only thing that matters right now is your safety. I’ll shut down the library if it comes down to it. I refuse to give that bastard the remote possibility of even *looking* in your direction. He’s obviously unstable and there’s no telling what he’ll do if he finds you. I’m not going to take any risks.”

“Felix has never approached me outright in public before.” I explain, my eyes tracking Nik as he paces across my living room, “He’s always waited for me to be alone. He wouldn’t try anything in a public place with witnesses.”

“I don’t care—”

“I’m not going to hide away any more Nik. I’ve done enough of that over the past year. I’m not going to live my life afraid. Not anymore.”

He pauses in his pacing, a flicker of frustration in his eyes. Beneath it, though, I catch a glimmer of understanding.

Vivian, who had been silently watching the battle of wills play out finally speaks up. There’s a glint of approval mixed with respect in her eyes when they meet mine as she says,“She’s not wrong, Nik. She wouldn’t be any safer in her apartment than she would be in a public place with a guard. And there would be more sets of eyes on her.”

A low rumble of frustration rips from Nik’s chest as he scrubs a rough hand over his face.

There’s a long moment of tense silence before he finally gives in.

"Fine," he concedes, though his jaw remains clenched with tension. "But there *will* be a guard there at all times keeping an eye on things.”

Excitement and relief roll through me in waves. I feel guilty that someone will still be forced to baby sit me, but I have a feeling that this is as good of an offer that I’m going to get where my safety is concerned.

*And more importantly, I won’t be hiding away in fear anymore.*