Chapter Seventeen

Marshall ground the heels of his palms against his eyes as he sat outside. The crisp mountain air did nothing to clear the haze in his head or the discontent in his chest.

He’d hurt her.

The fact had been written across her face as she’d withdrawn to her room, as she’d not only closed the door but locked it. Even as he hated himself for hurting her, he didn’t regret his decision.

Something tapped his shoulder. He turned to find Kieran standing there, beer bottle held out.

“Thanks.”

Kieran pulled over a chair and sat beside him. “Well, that could have gone better.”

“You think?” Marshall twisted off the cap and took a sip of the cold beer.

“Could have gone better? That shit was a cluster-fuck.” Kane always was the linguist. Instead of pulling over a chair, he sat on the railing of the patio. “The fuck is wrong with your dick?”

Marshall might have been angry at the blunt question if not for the absurdity. Instead, he chuckled and shook his head. “Nothing is wrong with it.”

“Then what the hell was that?”

Marshall gave himself a moment by taking another drink, then set the beer on top of his thigh. “I’ve spent my entire adult life seeing what alphas were capable of. You can’t tell me you don’t feel that side of you, that it isn’t there beneath all that civility you wear.”

Kane and Kieran had the decency not to argue his point, at least not right away. They both cast their gazes down at their own drinks, the silence reigning as they all considered it.

Kieran answered first. “I’ve seen my share of damage alphas have done. It’s not that they were alphas, though. Betas kill and rape, too, you know.”

“Sure, anyone can, but that’s a cop out and you know it. How many times do you smell an omega and want to mount her? How often does someone push your buttons, and that side of you, that animalistic part controlled by all that instinct want to tear their throat out?”

“Yeah, fuck, who doesn’t want to do a little throat-tearing with assholes? Doesn’t mean we do it.”

“We don’t do it because we control that side, but the fact we have to is what scares me. What if I lose one day? What if I’m not strong enough to leash it?” Marshall rubbed his palm over the top of his thigh to wipe off the sweat or condensation from the beer. “When I’m close to Tiffany, it’s worse. The rest of my life I dealt with that side easily, but around her? It roars inside my head, and I’m terrified of what it could do if I lose control.”

“You think if you knot her, you could hurt her?”

“Maybe. I know I’m not willing to risk it.”

“Then you better be fucking willing to lose her, because that girl ain’t gonna be satisfied with that.” Kane held his own beer between his fingers, dangling down over his lap.

“And I’m supposed to take advice from you? Because neither of you has done a good job at this whole relationship thing.”

Kieran huffed, leaning back. “Well, I knotted her at least. A step ahead from either of you.”

That had Kane laughing, an odd reaction compared to the jealousy that usually sprang between them. “You’re such an asshole.”

“Fair enough.” Kieran took another drink. “We have to make this right.”

“And how the fuck do you suggest that? Because from where I’m sitting, we’ve all fucked that girl over.”

“Yes, we have. So, let’s fix it.” Kieran took one deep breath before uttering words he didn’t feel but had to say. “I’m willing to step back. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, and this entire pulling her in three directions thing is only causing pain.”

“Fuck that,” Kane growled. “She’s under contract with you for a year. Not like anyone would sign her over to me, so unless she finishes her year, she ain’t getting her life back. I’ll leave.”

Marshall let out a laugh that lacked warmth as he shook his head, the answer obvious and frustrating when they failed to ever see it. “You two still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Kane, what would have happened if Kieran hadn’t been there to help Tiffany the night with Randy? Or with the judge afterward?” Marshall asked.

Kane drew his hands into fists. “She might not have made it since he helped take Randy out, and if she did, she’d have been thrown into the system like property.”

Marshall shot a look at Kieran. “And what if Kane hadn’t been there when she broke into that building? Or when she went to her apartment?”

Nothing showed on Kieran’s face except for a tightening of his lips, the subtle, easy to miss shift that said the words affected him. “She might have been killed or abducted.”

“And let’s not forget the man who broke into my home looking for her. My point is that, thus far, it has taken all three of us to keep her safe. She isn’t in there because she feels like she doesn’t want one of us. She’s in there because we’ve been too busy thinking about ourselves instead of her. We’ve been more worried about our hangups and our problems than her.”

“You’ve been beating around this fucking bush for too long. Just fucking say it,” Kane said.

“If we’re serious about this, I think we need to consider making it official. Tiffany has proven to be more than any one of us can deal with on our own. She’s outsmarted each of us repeatedly, and add in her recklessness? She needs a minimum of three to keep up with her. We’ve promised things that none of us can give on our own. I don’t think any one of us could keep her happy alone, but I’ve got to say, I don’t mind the taste we’ve gotten of the life all four of us could build.”

Kane huffed a sound that was neither acceptance nor denial. “You think she’s going to go for that? Because I ain’t thinking having three alphas on her ass is something any omega wants.”

“Shouldn’t that be her choice? We’ve torn at her trying to get her to pick, and she hasn’t picked. If anything, she’s shown she wants each of us in a different way. And can either of you say you minded when she was in my lap while you watched? Do you think I couldn’t feel how she pressed her chest out for the two of you? This is what she wants even if she doesn’t realize it yet.” Marshall tucked his hands into his pockets, hoping they’d see reason, that they’d listen to him for once.

The issue of him, of if he could ever let himself go, that he couldn’t resolve. He had no idea if he’d ever trust himself enough, but he knew there was only one way this would ever have a chance of working.

“The only question is if you two are willing to try it,” Marshall said.

Kieran exchanged a loaded look with Kane. So many years as, perhaps not enemies, but certainly not friends. Could they put it all behind them? Could they form something new with the omega they both were hopelessly in love with? Could they be happy with that future? All those things passed in the gaze between them.

Kane nodded. “Fuck it, I’ll try.”

“I will as well,” Kieran said.

Marshall laughed, the chuckle softer than it had been before. “Well then, I hope Tiffany gets some good rest, because tomorrow she’s going to have three mates to deal with.”