My self-journey

My self-journey
DOUG's POV
Ah, when I was little I used to play a lot with my brothers and my dad, and then came Alex, my then best friend. He used to take me skating with him and his family, even hiking. We used to be best buddies, until the day he kissed me on my chin.. I felt disgusted and hated him because we were only 7 then. I was hurt and left hopeless because I felt bad. I told my brother to tell him I wasn't home even when I was whenever he came to play. After a week of doing that, I realised that I missed him, and the kiss wasn't as bad as I made it look.
My brother asked why I was avoiding him but I didn't have an answer for them so I always ignored the conversation or came up with lies. Days turned into more weeks and I saw myself missing Alex even more. One time we met coincidentally and he apologised for the kiss and promised that it would never happen again and it was a silly mistake. I forgave him and we became best buddies again. 
It happened again but this time it was from me. We played a game, I won, and out of excitement I hugged and kissed him on the cheeks and he was stunned but he wasn't upset.. He said it was fine to be different but I insisted that it was a mistake. No one from my family is bisexual, so why would I be? And how disappointed will my father and brothers be if they ever found that out? That was always my thought. 
My father always told me that he trusted my judgment which is why he made me his adviser and the one next to the family's consigliere (A mafia family lawyer) we are not into mafia, but my father got one for himself. When I turned 15, Alex moved away after we had fallen for each other, but I always kept my feelings in check. We had grown so close and I was so broken when he left. My heart was shattered and I even lost weight.
My brothers used to sometimes make fun of me and call me Gay because they never saw me with a lady before. The day I had sex with a woman I realised that I wasn't gay, as a matter of fact if anything I think I like women more.. I think my issue is that I can put all my focus on a lady if there isn't any man whom I am attracted to.. I can go as long as 40 minutes when having sex with a lady, and I doubt any Gay man can do that, so yeah. 
Yes, I am bisexual, but I love pussies more, I just get distracted when there is a man in the picture which brings us to Mikey. The first day my father introduced Mikey to us as the family's lawyer, I knew I was in for a very long ride.. The eyes.. The way we both stared at each other I knew he would be a problem, but I chose to keep myself in check and not let another Alex happen. After Alex, I had never fallen for another man, or ever been close to another man, but I guess that is about to change, or maybe not. 
We were both still kissing deeply and for the first time in a very long time, I felt myself getting crazily hard for a dude.. I know Mikey liked me more than I did but I won't deny that I was also attracted to him.. I mean, he is very hardworking, fascinating, has a bright smile, and is always straight to the point, so yeah, I also liked having him around.
"You are so hard, Doug.. What? No hard guy today?"
I pushed him away and walked back into the room, loosened my zipper, and sighed when I saw how hard my cock looked. 
"Fuck, this! Fuck you, Mikey."
He chuckled and tried looking at my dick but I didn't let him.
"What is it, Doug? Are you angry at me? This isn't my fault.. Hey.."
I pushed his hands away and put my dick back into my pants.
"Hey.. I am sorry, Doug.. I.. I am sorry.."
"Just shut up, Mikey.. You didn't do anything."
I walked back to the balcony and he followed me like a puppy.
"If you do not want me near you, that I can't promise but I will try."
"What do you want, Mikey? Huh?"
I looked at him and his shirt was unbuttoned.
"You, Doug.. I love you, why don't you get that? I swear I do, and I have for years.. You do not need to love me back, but.. Just.. At least stop pushing me away, please."
I felt butterflies in my belly but I didn't let my emotions show. I have learned how to keep my emotions in check. 
"Mikey.."
"Do you want me to take you out? Oh, sorry, I mean do you want to go out tonight? Leave this noisy place and just go somewhere private, huh?"
"Why? So you can shove your dick into my mouth?"
He laughed hard and so did I.. I can be such a clown sometimes.
"You are a dickhead, Doug."
I waggled my brows and nodded.
"So, what do you say? You wanna go?"
"Well? Natalia is pissed off at me.. I need to make sure she is fine, Mikey."
"Doug, please, come with me, huh? You can get flowers on your way back for her."
He was very convincing, but I knew agreeing to go with him would give the impression that I was in for whatever he had in mind. 
"Mike.."
He pulled me in and kissed me deeply again.
His hands ran to my dick and I swallowed heavily.
"You are very hard, Doug.. Just come with me, please."
"Mike.."