Chapter 49
*Grace POV*
I wake up wrapped in warmth, Elio’s arms draped around me, our breaths falling in sync. Memories from last night flood my mind—the quiet confessions, his intense gaze, the weight of his hands as they gently held me, the electricity in every lingering touch. The night had started with a tension so thick I could feel it in the air between us, a nearly tangible pull drawing us together.
At first, I thought we might lose control entirely. Every touch seemed to ask for more, every kiss becoming harder to pull away from. But he held back, and ultimately, so did I. For now, it was enough to just be close, to let him hold me, to feel his heart beat against mine. There’s something about Elio that makes me want to let my guard down, to let him be the one who sees every vulnerable part of me. And somehow, even though we didn’t go further, I feel closer to him than I ever thought possible.
I sense movement beside me and open my eyes to see him sitting up, his broad shoulders silhouetted against the soft light beginning to seep through the curtains. He runs a hand through his dark hair, looking toward the door as though he has somewhere urgent to be.
“Where are you going?” I murmur, my voice thick with sleep as I sit up, watching him.
He turns to me, and for a brief moment, there’s something in his gaze—an intensity, a hunger—that disappears as quickly as it appeared. His expression hardens, shifting back to the reserved, carefully controlled Elio I know.
“I have some work to handle,” he says softly, yet firmly, giving a quick run of his hand through his hair, as if trying to shake off the remnants of last night. “Lie back down. It’s still early.”
I glance over at the clock and see it’s just past five in the morning. I can barely hold back a yawn, but I can’t ignore the tired look in his eyes. He’s been carrying the weight of this world on his shoulders, and it’s starting to show.
“You should get some sleep too,” I whisper. The worry slips out before I can stop myself.
At that, he crosses the room in two strides, coming closer until he’s standing right in front of me. He places a hand on either side of my face, tilting my chin up so our eyes meet. The closeness, his touch, it all sends a surge of warmth through me.
For a moment, I think he might kiss me. His eyes drop to my lips, lingering there, and I feel my heart pick up, a subtle longing growing between us again. But he only lowers his lips to my forehead, pressing a soft, lingering kiss there. The warmth of his lips against my skin is gentle, almost reverent, as though he’s holding back something he doesn’t dare let slip.
“Grace…” he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper against my skin. “Last night was… everything. But I can’t do this.” His voice is filled with a quiet pain, like he’s ripping the words out of himself. “I tried to let you get close to me, to let my guard down, but... emotions…”
“Elio,” I interrupt gently, “Emotions cloud your judgment. I know.” I finish the sentence for him, feeling the pang of those words settle between us.
His eyes hold mine, softening for a heartbeat, but then they harden again, and I can tell he’s locking away whatever he might have been about to say. With a last searching look, he pulls his hands back and slips out the door without another word, leaving the room feeling emptier than it did just a moment ago.
After he’s gone, I lie back on my pillow, staring up at the ceiling as I replay every moment, every look, every touch. Last night was perfect, and yet it left me craving more—a closeness that doesn’t vanish with the sunrise, a connection that isn’t buried under the weight of secrets and unspoken fears. But I understand him, even if I wish I didn’t. In his world, emotions mean weakness, and he can’t afford that.
The quiet stretches around me as I lie there, torn between wanting him to come back and knowing he won’t. There’s a deep ache where his warmth was only a moment ago, a void that I know only he can fill. But as much as I want to chase after him, to demand that he tell me what he’s feeling, I stay where I am. He has to be the one to decide if he’ll let me in.
A knock at the door breaks through my thoughts, and I sit up, glancing over as Eleonor steps inside. She eyes me knowingly, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity.
“Good morning, Grace,” she says softly, her gaze lingering on the disheveled sheets and the tousled look I’m sure is written all over my face.
“Morning, Eleonor.” I try to muster a smile, but I can tell she sees right through it.
“He’s… complicated, isn’t he?” she says, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’ve seen Elio struggle with this before. Trust, emotions… these things don’t come easily to him.”
“I know,” I murmur, looking down at my hands. “But it doesn’t make it any easier.”
Eleonor places a comforting hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “In his own way, he cares about you deeply. I see it every day, even if he can’t admit it to himself.”
Her words warm me, even as they make the ache sharper, a longing that’s now hard to suppress. Elio had once told me that he wasn’t afraid of anything, but I know now that isn’t true. What he fears most is letting anyone past his walls.
“I just wish…” I trail off, trying to find the right words, but Eleonor seems to understand. She pats my shoulder and stands, giving me a small, encouraging smile.
“Give him time, Grace. He’s a man of shadows, but sometimes, the light breaks through.” With that, she slips out of the room, leaving me alone again.
I lie back down, pulling the blanket around me and closing my eyes. I know the path ahead won’t be easy, but something in me refuses to give up on him.