Chapter Twelve

"It's quite a pity how things turned out. It wasn't my intention but still, it was a nice gift in the end. Glad to know you're not so invisible, Noah. Extend my regards to Ava that's if she still wants to see you. See you soon, Noah."

Noah crumpled the note in his hands muttering curses beneath his breath. He had finally managed to get her out of his mind for the past few days and now, this note just had to remind him of his failure.

He raked his hands through his hair and tossed the note into the trash can. There was a brief knock on his door before his grandfather poked his head In.

"Son, can I talk to you?"

Noah sighed and grunted. He didn't feel like talking to his grandfather especially since he knew what the discussion was about.

"I'll take that as a ‘come in,’" Don Faustino chuckled and entered the office.

"Grandpa, I'm In the middle of something here," he grumbled.

"I'm sure you'll have five minutes for your grandpa," the Don teased.

Noah sighed and lifted his eyes from the blank document he was staring at. He hasn't been able to focus on work for a while now.

"Alright. What do you want?"

"Why are you hiding inside here while the world goes on without you?"

Noah flinched. The only person he was scared of moving on from was Ava but just maybe she has finally moved on from him.

"I'm not hiding, Grandpa. I just don't have the luxury a lot of people have," he replied stiffly.

"That's a lie and you know it," Don scoffed.

Noah shrugged but said nothing.

"What happened to Ava isn't your fault," his grandpa continued.

Noah shook his head. "That topic is off-limits, grandpa."

"You ought to go see her and know how she's faring," Don added Ignoring him.

Noah groaned. "I have a fucking target on my back, grandpa and now Ava is caught in the crossfire of God knows what!"

Don Faustino smiled. "How do you expect to find out who placed a target on your back if you remain cooped up here?"

"Fine. I'll step out and set traps to lure whoever it is but I'm not allowing anyone to get hurt because of me again," he gritted out.

"You can't do that, Noah. You tried protecting her before, how did that work out?" Don Faustino asked.

Noah glared at him. "Thanks for the warm reminder."

"I'm not trying to rub it in your face. I'm only saying you sent her away and they still got to her. Either way, if she is away from you or around you, they can still get to her," Don Faustino explained.

Noah nodded. Everything made sense now. It was better if she was always around him. At least that way he would be able to protect her with his life.

"Thanks, Grandpa," he smiled briefly.

"No problem, kiddo. Now go see her."

"Do you think she'll ever wanna talk to me again?" He asked sadly.

"You won’t know unless you try," the Don shrugged.

Noah nodded then stood up. It was now or never.

***

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me, This all or nothing got a way of driving me crazy, I need somebody to heal, Somebody to know, Somebody to hold, It's easy to say, But it's never the same, I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain, Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall, And you're not here, To get me through it all, I let my guard down, And then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

Ava crumpled on her bed rolling into a ball as the lyrics of the song washed over her. She couldn't believe what her life had turned into.

A living nightmare.

All she had wanted was a chance to live afresh but things hadn't worked out exactly that way for her.

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she contemplated what her life was going to become. She had murdered three men in cold blood. They had raped her in the most brutal way possible and she still had nightmares.

Each night she woke up screaming. Daniel has done his best to comfort her, but she had shut him out too. He had still not called their mom and for that she was grateful.

Her mom smothering her would only make her feel worse.

She needed Noah.

But she hated him!

He was the reason why she was in this situation and now as the night drew close, her heartbeat increased. She needed to go for therapy, Daniel had suggested but she couldn't bring herself to go see a shrink.

What was she gonna tell them? Where was she gonna start? That she was raped by men who tortured her with a broken bottle?

She shivered just thinking about it. She felt humiliated and nothing could ever change that. She wasn't the same Ava.

She could always heal the scars on her body, but the scars were far beyond human eyes. They were embedded in her soul and now carved into her body.

She would never be able to have a child.

That wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that the choice had been ripped away from her cruelly.

She could decide not to have a child of her own, but she wanted to be able to make that decision on her own.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks at the thought that she had forfeited something she never really thought.

The song reached its climax when she heard voices in the corridor.

Right now, she couldn't care who it was because all she wanted was to cuddle and cry herself to sleep.

***

Noah arrived at Daniel's house and sighed. He could feel the tension in the air as he walked up to the foyer where he rang the doorbell.

Daniel opened the door almost immediately and Noah winced. Daniel looked like a haunted ghost and Noah felt the guilt hit him in the gut.

"Hey," Daniel smiled wryly, running a hand through his hair.

Noah gave him a tight smile and entered the sitting room where he saw Julus slumped on the couch. Someone you loved by Lewis was blasting off in the house.

The house reeked of sorrow and tiredness. Noah flinched visibly at the sad aura he was getting from them.

"Make yourself comfortable, Noah," Daniel sighed.

"What's going on, Daniel?" Noah asked, finally unable to hide his curiosity any longer.

"Ava."

That one word was his undoing.

"What is wrong with Ava?" He asked worriedly.

"What isn't wrong with her?" Julus questioned bitterly.

Daniel sighed. Noah has lost track of how many times he's sighed since he stepped in.

"She gets nightmares every night. Sometimes, she hallucinates in the daytime. She wouldn't go to see a therapist, she doesn't want to open up to me, she doesn't want to see mom either. She keeps playing these heartbreaking songs and it's driving me crazy."

Noah listened to Daniel's rants and felt sorry for him. He knew exactly what Ava was going through even though he didn't experience it first-hand.

"Can I see her?" he asked finally.

Daniel shrugged. "I don't think it's a good idea. I dunno if she wants to see you."

Noah felt the sting in his words but pretended as it didn't affect him. They were just words, he tried to calm his nerves.

"You won't know until you try," Noah shrugged.

Daniel shared a look with Julus.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Julus shrugged.

Daniel sighed before leading Noah into the open corridor. He pointed at Ava's room which was where the music was blasting from.

"Good luck," Daniel chuckled.

Noah smiled. He knew he was gonna need that.

He waited till he couldn't hear Daniel's footsteps, he waited till the music had ended before he knocked softly on the door.

He waited patiently, but still, no answer came from within. Instead, the song started playing again. Noah took a deep breath then pushed the door open.

He hadn't expected the door to budge he thought it was locked so at least he could have an excuse not to see her right now, but the door budged, and he stepped into the dimly lit room.

The room was tattered, filled with lots of coffee cups, litters of clothes, and the aura of depression.

He saw Ava curled up like a ball on her bed and she was snoring lightly.

He walked up to her and sat down, caressing her forehead. He kissed her hair, inhaling her scent and thinking of how much he missed her.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she closed them purring contentedly in her sleep then they fluttered open once again panic visible In her eyes.

"No!" She screamed, shaking her head, and backing away from him.

"Ava. Come on, it's me, Noah," he said softly, extending a hand towards her.

"Who let you into my room?" She asked, anger swirling in her eyes.

"I knocked but you wouldn't open the door," Noah explained calmly.

"I don't wanna see you, Noah," she snapped.

The sharp pain in his chest again, it felt like someone was twisting a knife in his gut. He ignored the pain and sinking feeling in his chest and focused on trying to get her to be comfortable with him.

"I just had to check up on you so I can know how you're faring," Noah stated.

"I'm fine as you can see," she snapped.

Noah sighed. "Ava I'm sorry but I don't know why you're so upset with me. I was trying to keep you safe."

"If you hadn't sent me away that night, I wouldn't have been kidnapped!" She snapped.

Tears sprang in her eyes again as she remembered what had led to her kidnap. If she hadn't left there angry, then maybe she wouldn't have been kidnapped.

"I was trying to keep you safe!" Noah yelled.

"Safe from what? Or you were just scared of opening up to someone," Ava glared at him.

"I was not scared of anything. I was just trying to protect you!" Noah groaned.

"Stop making up excuses for your pathetic actions!" Ava yelled, tears rolling down her cheeks. The frustration and anger from the few days weighed down on her and she felt like exploding.

"Ever since we started dating you keep making excuses to ruin our relationship. Then finally you broke up with me and left. Just when I was picking up the pieces of my life you come like a hurricane and ruin things for me again!"

Noah kept silent as she poured out her heart to him. He knew nothing he could say will make this right except by listening to her.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She shook her head furiously. "Some things can't be made right by apologizing. It's not okay!"

Ava slumped on the bed, sniffing. She was trying her best to keep calm because deep down she knew he was feeling guilty, and she didn't want to add to it, but she refused to see beyond her rage.

It was the rage that was keeping her pain numb. She didn't want to give In because she was scared. Scared that she would open herself up to him again and be left stranded once again.

"How can I make it right, Ava? Please tell me what I can do to make it right," Noah pleaded.

Ava shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Nothing."

"There has to be something," he pleaded.

"There's one thing."

"What is it? I'll do anything," Noah pleaded.

"Stay away from me. I never wanna see you again," she said bitterly.

Noah stared at her for a long time before he nodded. He had walked away from her for so long just perhaps…this time it was her decision.