Chapter 80 Between Worlds
“So are you actually going to miss this place, or are you just being polite?”
Lilith looked up from where she was attempting to fold the silk shirt Asmodeus had insisted she take, finding Kira leaning against her doorframe with that sharp smile she’d come to recognize over the past few days.
“Both, probably.” Lilith gave up on the folding and just stuffed the shirt into her bag. “I didn’t expect to like it here as much as I did.”
“That’s what everyone says about Lust. Come for the depravity, stay for the honest conversations and terrible decisions.” Kira pushed off the doorframe and settled onto the bed beside Lilith’s half-packed bag. “Dex wanted me to give you this before you left.”
She pulled out a set of dice, the same ones they’d used during card games. They were weighted wrong, Lilith had learned, designed to roll certain numbers more often than they should. Dex’s idea of a good luck charm.
“Tell him I said thank you,” Lilith said, turning the dice over in her palm. “And that I’ll use them to cheat at something important.”
“He’ll love that.” Kira was quiet for a moment, unusual for her. “You know you can come back, right? Not for official kingdom business or prophecy stuff. Just because you want to. We’ll still be here, probably doing the exact same stupid things.”
The offer made Lilith’s chest tighten. Real friends, not people who wanted something from her or needed her to fulfill some destiny. Just people who’d taught her card games and laughed when she lost.
“I’d like that,” she said honestly.
“Good. Because Lysander already bet me you wouldn’t come back, and I have money riding on this.” Kira stood, squeezing Lilith’s shoulder once. “Don’t let them make you boring again when you get back to that depressing palace.”
She left before Lilith could respond, and Sera appeared moments later with the last of their belongings.
“Ready?” Sera asked.
“No. But I don’t think that changes anything.”
The walk to the portal chamber felt shorter than it should have. Asmodeus was there, though notably distracted by what looked like an intense negotiation with a merchant about something Lilith couldn’t quite hear. He glanced up when she approached, extracting himself from the conversation with practiced ease.
“Leaving already? I was just getting used to having someone around who asks interesting questions.” He looked completely unaffected by last night’s heavy conversation, back to his usual careless charm like the vulnerable moment had never happened.
“Thanks for everything,” Lilith said, meaning it. “The lessons, the honesty, all of it.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Wait and see if any of it actually helps.” He pulled something from his pocket, a small token that looked like a coin but felt warmer than metal should. “Emergency contact. You ever need to reach me directly, hold this and think my name. I’ll know.”
“Why would I need to reach you directly?”
“Because you’re about to go back to a place where everyone lies about what they want, and sometimes you’ll need someone who doesn’t.” He pressed the token into her palm. “Besides, I’m curious to see which brother you choose. I’ve got money riding on it.”
“Of course you do.”
“Twenty gold on Cain, if you’re wondering. Azrael’s too easy. You need someone who challenges you.” He grinned at her expression. “Don’t look so offended. Everyone’s betting on it. Even Father probably has an opinion.”
Before Lilith could respond to that deeply uncomfortable information, Asmodeus was already turning back to his merchant negotiation, dismissing her with the same casual energy he’d shown when she arrived. No dramatics, no long goodbyes, just the easy acknowledgment that she’d be back eventually and they’d pick up where they left off.
The portal activation was quick, Lucian’s magic reaching across realms to create a gateway home. Home. When had she started thinking of the Vestibulum that way?
Sera went through first, and Lilith paused at the threshold, looking back at Lust’s capital one more time. The chaos, the color, the complete lack of pretense about wanting things. She’d learned something here that felt important, even if she couldn’t quite articulate what it was yet.
Then she stepped through, and the cold hit her like a physical blow.
The Vestibulum’s arrival chamber was exactly as she remembered, all dark stone and formal guards and oppressive atmosphere that made breathing feel harder. The temperature difference alone was jarring enough to make her stumble slightly as her body adjusted.
“Welcome back, Lady Lilith.” One of the guards bowed formally. “Lord Azrael requested to be notified of your return. He’s waiting in the eastern gallery.”
Of course he was. Lilith thanked the guard and headed in that direction with Sera trailing behind, their footsteps echoing in corridors that felt too quiet after days of constant music and noise.
Azrael was exactly where the guard had indicated, standing by a window overlooking the twisted landscape beyond the palace. He turned when he heard them approach, and something in his expression shifted when he looked at her.
“You’re back,” he said, stating the obvious. “How was Asmodeus’s kingdom?”
“Chaotic. Educational. Probably corrupting.” Lilith managed a smile. “Everything you’d expect from Lust.”
“You seem different.” Azrael moved closer, studying her with that intense focus he brought to everything. “More centered, maybe. Or just more tired.”
“Both, probably.” She was tired, actually. The past few days had been exhausting in ways that had nothing to do with physical activity. “How’s the Devil?”
“Declining. Slowly but noticeably.” Azrael’s jaw tightened. “He’s been asking about you, wants to hear about your visit when you’re settled.”
The weight she’d temporarily set aside in Asmodeus’s kingdom settled back onto her shoulders. The Devil dying, the prophecy looming, decisions that needed making. All of it waiting exactly where she’d left it.
“I should go see him soon then,” Lilith said, though everything in her wanted to delay that conversation.
“Tomorrow is fine. He’s resting now anyway.” Azrael was still looking at her like he was trying to solve a puzzle. “Lilith, did something happen in Lust? You seem… I don’t know. Different.”
She thought about Asmodeus’s lessons on seduction and power. About the rooftop conversation where walls came down. About learning what she wanted versus what everyone expected her to want. About the question she still couldn’t answer even though it kept echoing in her head.
“I just learned some things,” she said finally. “About myself, about desire, about choosing what I actually want instead of what’s expected.”
Something flickered in Azrael’s expression, too quick to identify. “And did you? Choose what you want?”
The question hung between them, weighted with implications Lilith wasn’t ready to address. She knew what he was really asking. Knew he wanted her to say his name, to confirm that his careful devotion had won whatever competition existed between him and Cain and potentially others.
But Asmodeus’s voice echoed in her memory. Which one do you actually want? The one who makes you feel worshipped or the one who makes you feel alive?
“I’m working on it,” she said instead of answering directly. “Still figuring things out.”
Azrael’s disappointment was subtle but present. “Of course. You have time. Not much, but some.”
Not much time. The reminder sat heavy in her chest. The Devil was dying, the prophecy demanded resolution, and eventually she’d have to stop hiding behind uncertainty and actually choose.
They walked back to her chambers in comfortable silence, Azrael leaving her at the door with a brief touch to her shoulder that felt both familiar and complicated.
Inside, Sera had already unpacked both their bags with impressive efficiency. Lilith collapsed onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, the Vestibulum’s oppressive quiet pressing down after days of constant noise.
She pulled out Dex’s weighted dice and Asmodeus’s warm token, physical reminders that she’d been somewhere else and become someone slightly different. Someone who understood power and desire and the cost of wanting things.
But understanding didn’t make choosing easier. It just made her more aware of exactly what she was choosing between.