Chapter 43 Pride and honesty
Lilith sat in the library that evening, pretending to read while replaying the day. Azrael’s almost kiss. Cain’s breakdown. The mess she had created.
“You’re thinking too loud.”
She jumped. Azrael stood in the doorway, arms crossed
“How did you find me?”
“I’m Pride. I know everything that happens in this palace.” He moved into the room and sat across from her, not close, giving her space. “We need to talk. About today. About what almost happened.”
“Nothing happened.”
“Lilith.” His voice was firm. “Don’t insult either of us. I almost kissed you. You almost let me. Then Cain interrupted.”
“She was upset.”
“She was jealous,” he said quietly. “And she had every right to be. I crossed a line.” His golden eyes held hers. “You and Cain have history. That night. The training. The way she looks at you. I inserted myself into something already complicated.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it?” His smile was faint. “What I saw today was not casual interest. That’s what I’m feeling too.”
Lilith inhaled sharply. “Azrael…”
“Let me finish.” His voice softened but carried weight. “I’ve lived millennia. I told myself I wouldn’t get attached again. Would do my duty and move on. But you’re different. You fight back. You refuse to break. You look at me like I’m a person instead of a prince. You make me want things I haven’t wanted in centuries.”
“What things?”
“Everything.” His honesty stripped him bare. “I want to train you, protect you, push you, and watch you become extraordinary. I want to challenge you. And I want to kiss you. Properly. Not almost. Not interrupted."
The air between them tightened.
“That’s not fair,” Lilith whispered.
“I know.”
“Cain…”
“Cain feels the same way,” he said. “Maybe more. I’m not asking you to choose. Not yet. But I won’t pretend I don’t want you.” He stepped closer, stopping just short of touching her. “I’m asking for permission. To be honest. To pursue this without hiding behind duty.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I step back. I remain your teacher and protector. Nothing more. But what almost happened today was not an accident. It was control slipping.”
Lilith’s heart pounded. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to. Just know I won’t pressure you or compete with Cain. Whatever happens will be because you choose it.”
“That’s very mature of you.”
His mouth curved. “I’m Pride, not heartless.”
“I care about you,” she admitted. “More than a little. But I care about Cain too. I don’t know how to choose. I don’t even know if I have to choose yet.”
“You don’t,” he said firmly. “Today was about honesty.”
“Was that moment real?”
“Very real.” His gaze dropped to her lips. “And if you allow it, I want to make it real someday. When you’re ready.”
“I might not choose you.”
“I know.”
“I might choose Cain.”
“I know that too.” His smile carried acceptance. “I would rather risk that than lie to myself.”
Silence stretched between them.
“What if I want both of you?” Lilith asked softly. “What if I fell for both of you?”
He studied her, then nodded once. “Then we figure it out together. Like adults. Even if Cain tries to kill me.”
“She might.”
“I’ll survive.” His hand rose, gentle against her cheek. “May I?”
She did not pull away.
He kissed her slowly, giving her time to stop him. She didn’t. Instead, she leaned into him, hands gripping his shirt as weeks of tension broke loose. When they finally parted, both were breathing hard.
“That was terrifying,” Lilith said. “Wonderful. Complicated.”
“All of the above.” He stepped back deliberately. “And now you have more to think about.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I know. But I’m not sorry.”
“Me neither.”
“Even when Cain loses her mind?”
“Especially then.”
He smiled and turned for the door. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow is Cain’s advanced training. She’ll be intense.”
“Great.”
“You’ll survive. You always do.” He paused. “Thank you. For the honesty. And the kiss.”
He left.
Lilith sank into her chair, fingers brushing her lips. She had kissed Azrael. Cain was going to murder her, or him, or both. It was a disaster. A wonderful, terrible, complicated disaster.
Sera found her later, still staring into nothing.
“You look shell shocked.”
“I kissed Azrael.”
Sera sat slowly. “You what?”
“He was honest. Asked for permission. Then kissed me. And I kissed him back.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
“Does Cain know?”
“Not yet.” Lilith exhaled. “I don’t want to choose.”
“Then don’t,” Sera said gently. “Not yet. Be honest. Take it one day at a time.”
“And if I never figure it out?”
“Future you will handle it. Present you just needs to survive tomorrow.”
Lilith managed a weak smile.
Tomorrow would be brutal. But tonight, she had been honest. With Azrael. With herself. And even if it made everything messier, it had to count for something.