Chapter 15 Waking up in her arms

Chapter 15 Waking up in her arms
Lilith woke to warmth and the scent of smoke.
For a moment, disoriented, she couldn’t remember where she was. Then she felt the arm draped across her waist, the steady breathing behind her, the furs beneath her cheek instead of silk.
Cain’s quarters. Cain’s bed. Cain’s body pressed against her back.
Memory flooded in: the kiss, the heat, the way Cain had stopped them before things went too far. The conversation in the dark. Falling asleep feeling safe for the first time since arriving in Hell.
Lilith shifted slightly, and Cain’s arm tightened around her waist.
“Don’t move yet.” Cain’s voice was thick with sleep. “Too comfortable.”
“We should probably get up.”
“Probably.” But Cain made no move to release her. Instead, she pressed closer, nuzzling into Lilith’s hair. “Five more minutes.”
Lilith smiled, warmth spreading through her chest that had nothing to do with the furs or the fireplace. “Your brothers will notice I didn’t sleep in my own quarters.”
“Let them notice.” Cain’s lips brushed the back of Lilith’s neck, feather-light. “Though you’re right. The servants will start their rounds soon, and palace gossip spreads faster than wildfire.”
Lilith turned in Cain’s arms to face her. Cain’s hair was a disaster, sticking up in several directions. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep, softer than Lilith had ever seen them. Without her armour, without her weapons, she looked younger. Almost vulnerable.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Cain’s smile was lazy, content. “Sleep well?”
“Better than I have since I got here.” Lilith traced a finger along Cain’s jaw. “You?”
“Best sleep I’ve had in decades.” Cain caught Lilith’s hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. “You know what you do to me?”
“Tell me.”
“You make me forget why I built walls in the first place.” Cain’s voice was quiet, honest. “You make me want things I thought I’d trained myself not to want.”
“Like what?”
“Mornings like this. Someone to wake up next to. Someone who sees me and doesn’t run.” Cain’s thumb traced circles on Lilith’s wrist. “You’re dangerous for someone like me.”
“Someone like you?”
“Someone who’s supposed to be a weapon. Not a person who gets to want soft things.”
Lilith shifted closer, eliminating the remaining space between them. “You get to be both. Weapon and person. Warrior and someone who wants soft things.”
“Is that what you are? A soft thing?”
“I’m getting less soft by the day, thanks to you.”
Cain laughed, the sound warm and unguarded. “Fair point. You did try to fight me yesterday.”
“And you destroyed me.”
“I went easy on you.”
“That was easy?!” Lilith’s eyes widened in mock horror.
“That was me being gentle.” Cain grinned. “Wait until you see me actually trying.”
They lay there, faces inches apart, just looking at each other. The easy intimacy of it felt both natural and terrifying.
“Cain?”
“Yeah?”
“Last night was my first kiss.”
Cain went very still. “What?”
“I’ve never kissed anyone before. Never wanted to. Never felt…” Lilith’s cheeks heated. “You were my first.”
Something fierce and possessive flashed in Cain’s eyes. “Your first?”
“Is that weird? I’m nineteen. I should have…”
“It’s not weird.” Cain’s hand cupped Lilith’s face. “But now I’m glad I stopped us. If I’d known you’d never even been kissed, I would have been gentler. Slower. Made it…”
“It was perfect,” Lilith said firmly. “You were perfect. I didn’t want gentle. I wanted you.”
“Lilith.” Cain’s voice was strained. “You can’t say things like that when we’re still in bed together.”
“Why not?”
“Because my self-control only goes so far.” Cain closed her eyes, clearly fighting some internal battle. “And you’re wearing my shirt, looking at me like that, and telling me I was your first kiss. You’re killing me.”
Lilith looked down, realising she was indeed wearing one of Cain’s oversized tunics. She had no memory of changing into it. The fabric hung off one shoulder, and it smelled like smoke and Cain.
“When did I put this on?”
“Last night. You half-woke up, complained your dress was uncomfortable, and I gave you that. You don’t remember?”
“No.” Lilith pulled at the tunic. “I should probably find my actual clothes.”
“Or you could stay in mine.” Cain’s smile turned wicked. “You look good in my clothes.”
“I look ridiculous. This is enormous for me.”
“Exactly.” Cain tugged at the collar playfully. “Everyone will know whose shirt you’re wearing.”
“Is that your goal? Marking territory?”
“Maybe.” Cain’s expression softened. “Or maybe I just like seeing you comfortable. Not drowning in silk and corsets and things designed to make you ornamental.”
A sharp knock interrupted them.
Both froze.
“Lily? Are you in there?”
Sera’s voice. Worried.
Lilith scrambled out of bed, suddenly very aware that she was wearing only Cain’s shirt and her underthings. Cain sat up, looking far too amused by the situation.
“How do I look?” Lilith whispered frantically.
“Like you spent the night with me.” Cain’s grin was unrepentant. “There’s no hiding it now. Just answer the door.”
Lilith took a breath and cracked the door open, positioning herself so Sera could see her but not fully into the room.
Sera’s eyes widened as she took in Lilith’s appearance: oversized tunic that clearly wasn’t hers, bare legs, thoroughly kissed lips, and hair that looked like someone had run their hands through it repeatedly.
“Oh.” Sera breathed. Then a slow smile spread across her face. “Oh, Lily!”
“It’s not… we didn’t…” Lilith stammered.
“Come in and close the door,” Cain called from the bed. “If you’re going to tease her, at least do it privately.”
Sera slipped inside, closing the door behind her. She looked between them: Lilith blushing furiously, Cain lounging comfortably in bed, and her smile grew.
“So. Finally!”
“Finally, what?” Lilith asked.
“Finally, you did something for yourself instead of what everyone expects.” Sera’s expression turned serious. “I’m not here to judge. I’m here to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” Lilith said softly, glancing at Cain. “Really okay.”
“Good.” Sera relaxed slightly. “Then I’m also here to tell you that breakfast is in an hour, all seven princes will be there, and you showing up looking like this would cause… problems.”
The mention of facing all seven sent a spike of anxiety through Lilith’s chest.
“He doesn’t know,” Cain said, reading her expression. “And he won’t unless someone tells him.”
“The servants…” Lilith started.
“Are loyal to me in this wing.” Cain stood, moving to her wardrobe. “But Sera’s right. You should go back to your quarters and change.”
“Into what? A dress that screams I spent the night in someone else’s bed?” Lilith’s voice climbed slightly.
“Into whatever makes you feel like yourself.” Cain pulled out a simple tunic and a pair of pants. “Here. Wear these back. They’ll be less conspicuous than the formal gown you came in.”
“I can’t just walk through the palace in your clothes!”
“Why not?” Cain’s eyes danced with mischief. “You’re already wearing my shirt.”
“That’s different!”
“Is it?”
Sera cleared her throat. “While you two figure out the wardrobe situation, I’ll go check if the corridor is clear. Less chance of running into… anyone.”
She slipped back out.
Cain moved closer to Lilith, hands settling on her hips. “You’re panicking.”
“I’m not panicking!”
“You’re definitely panicking.” Cain’s thumbs stroked small circles through the fabric. “Breathe. Nothing has to change because we spent the night together.”
“Everything changes.”
“Only if we let it.” Cain leaned in, pressing her forehead to Lilith’s. “We take this one moment at a time. Right now, you go back to your quarters. Change. Show up to breakfast. Be yourself. The rest will sort itself out.”
“And when Azrael looks at me? When he sees something different?”
“Then he sees it.” Cain’s voice was firm. “You don’t owe him explanations. You don’t owe any of them explanations. What happens between us is ours.”
Lilith took a shaky breath, then another. Cain was right. She was panicking. Letting fear of what might happen overshadow what had actually happened: something beautiful and wanted and entirely her choice.
“Okay.” She nodded. “Okay. I can do this.”
“That’s my girl.” Cain pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “Now get dressed before I decide to keep you here all day.”
“The corridor’s clear!” Sera’s voice came from outside.
Lilith quickly pulled on the clothes Cain had offered: pants that had to be rolled several times at the ankles and a tunic that still swam on her but was less obviously a nightshirt. Cain watched the whole process with undisguised appreciation.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking inappropriate things.”
“I’m always thinking inappropriate things where you’re concerned.” Cain grinned. “That’s not going to change.”
Despite her nerves, Lilith laughed. She moved to the door, then paused, turning back.
“Cain?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For last night. For this morning. For being you.”
Something soft crossed Cain’s face. “Thank you for choosing to stay.”
Lilith slipped out into the corridor where Sera waited, practically bouncing with suppressed excitement.
“Don’t say it,” Lilith warned.
“I wasn’t going to say anything!” Sera’s grin was wicked. “Though I will say you look thoroughly…”
“Sera!”
“Fine, fine!” Sera linked her arm through Lilith’s. “But we’re absolutely talking about this later. In detail.”
They hurried through the corridors, Sera keeping watch while Lilith tried to look casual and not like someone sneaking back from a secret rendezvous. When they finally reached Lilith’s quarters, she sagged against the closed door.
“That was terrifying.”
“That was exciting!” Sera flopped onto Lilith’s bed. “So. Tell me everything. Did you…”
“No. We didn’t.” Lilith’s cheeks burned. “We just… kissed. And talked. And slept. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Sera’s expression softened. “Lily, that’s everything.”
Lilith moved to her wardrobe, pulling out a dress for breakfast. “Is it wrong? That I’m feeling this with Cain when I’m supposed to be choosing one of them? When Azrael thinks…”
“What Azrael thinks doesn’t matter. What you feel does.” Sera stood, moving to help with the dress. “You’re allowed to explore. To discover what you want. That’s the whole point of this courtship period.”
“But what if I’m making everything more complicated?”
“Then you’re making it complicated.” Sera’s hands stilled on the dress laces. “But you’ll be doing it honestly. And that’s worth something.”
Lilith met her friend’s eyes in the mirror. “When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve always been wise. You usually ignore me.” Sera finished the laces. “Now. Let’s get you to this breakfast. And try not to stare at Cain the entire time.”
“I don’t stare!”
“You absolutely stare.”
“I do not!”
Sera just smiled.