Chapter Forty-Four

Three seconds.

It was the approximate amount of time Kennedi knew she’d have to pivot, jet across the wide corridor and get back on that elevator before he punched in the key code to unlock his apartment door. The fact that she hadn’t lifted a heel said the battle had long been lost.

The latch clicked, and he took her hand. “Let’s talk.”

How would she ever find the strength to let him go in her heart when she couldn’t even resist his slightest touch?

As she stepped inside goose bumps rose upon her exposed flesh in an instant. The place felt like walking into a freezer. She set her clutch purse on the entry table and followed him into the living room. He tossed his suit coat over the back of the couch, then removed his cuff links and dropped the pair upon the end table along with his cell phone. In short seconds, he had his arms around her with his face buried at the side of her neck.

“Trenton, we’re here to talk.” Warm lips brushed her skin. “Trent?”

“We will. Just let me hold you first.” His hands caressed up her back and down her arms, their fingers easily threading as he administered delicate kisses along her bare shoulder before he released her. “I’m sorry for not telling you about what was going on with my ex and me…and the baby—”

“And about the fact that you and she will be attending couples counseling sessions together. Let’s not forget that.”

“It’s not couples counseling. She claims it’s for the child, to help us get past the bitterness. It’s just a way for her to make my life hell.”

“And when you’re at these mommy-daddy-and-me sessions, was it your plan to lie to me about it? I’m curious. What were you going to say to me when I asked where you were? Working late? Hanging out with your brother? What? Was I supposed to sit around waiting for you to return from family hour with your ex-wife?” Her voice pitched high, anger reigniting, once again rising above her hurt over the entire situation.

“I wanted to tell you. I was afraid you’d walk away if I did.”

“So hiding the truth was a smarter alternative? Look, there’s one thing I won’t tolerate and that’s deceit. You broke my trust. I don’t think we can come back from that.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“I need to go.” Her heart aching in despair, fighting not to cry in front of him, she started toward the entryway, but he hurried ahead and blocked the door with his big body.

“Kennedi, I was wrong. More than wrong. You and I,” he waved a hand between them, “this works. We’re a team. Please don’t just end us.” He reached for her hand, but she snatched it back. “I want to make this right between us. Tell me how I can fix this…fix us.” His voice shook.

“I don’t think we can. That’s what hurts the most.”

“Please, baby. I don’t want to lose you. I love you.”

Seeing the tears in his gaze made hers spill down her cheeks. “I can’t.” She cried. He caught hold of her hand. She tried to break his tether, but he held firm. “Trent, let go of me.”

“I will, but let me show you something.” He hurried to his office with her. Still holding her hand, he rummaged the papers on his desk and flipped through a thick legal document. “Right here.” He tapped a finger on a section, then handed it to her.

“What’s this?”

“It’s my divorce papers. See the date there. I’ve been divorced for a little over a year. But it took time to settle the assets. This version of the addendum lists everything—what I’ve given my ex. It spells out the language for the counseling sessions, which consist of a month of ninety-minute meetings. The next page shows the agreed upon terms regarding the child, both if it’s mine as well as if it’s not. It’s all right there for you to read. Nothing hidden from you. No secrets.”

Kennedi read bits and pieces, her attention narrowing on the counseling terms and how it would play out. She scanned through a few more paragraphs and pages of financial statements, surprised that he would bare it all to her. She looked up at him, not sure what to say.

“You’re the first woman I’ve dated since my divorce.” He freed her hand. “And I did a piss-poor job of it. I’m sorry for that. We may be over, but I won’t stop loving you.” His sigh came out in a broken breath as he stepped aside. “I’ll call a car to take you home.”

“Don’t. I’ll get a Lyft.” She started for the door and he followed close behind her.

“You look beautiful tonight. That dress. Your hair. I couldn’t take my eyes off you at the party.”

Kennedi turned and met steel-blue eyes glimmering from his unshed tears. Her already fractured heart ached for what could have been between them. Desperate to feel the comfort his touch always gave her, she rested a light palm upon his shirted chest. “You work a tux real nice yourself.” She bit her lip to try to hold it together, but the dam broke free, drowning her in the crushing tide of her anguish. “I don’t know what to do.” She cried.

“Can I hold you?”

Bawling her eyes out, she gave the faintest nod and strong arms enveloped her. Her sadness unashamedly soaked his shirt at the shoulder. When she’d gotten her emotions to manageable sniffles, she stepped away, swiping her face with the back of her hand.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said softly. “You mean everything to me.”

“How can you say that to me?” Her lips quivered. He took her hand again—a tentative touch—and walked toward the stairs. She tugged, but he lightly squeezed. “Trenton.”

“I’m tired, and I’m not done holding you. That’s all,” he assured her.

With her in tow, he headed upstairs to his bedroom and raised the lamplight on the nightstand to a warm glow before stripping down to T-shirt and slacks, then tossed back the thick, black down comforter. Looking at her still standing just inside the door, he climbed on top of the gray sheets dressed as he was and scooted over, making room for her. “Kennedi, please?”

She tried damn hard to resist the lure of being held in his warm embrace while curled together in that big, comfy bed. The fact that the place felt like a meat locker made it all the more tempting. “Are you storing corpses somewhere in here? It’s so damn cold.”

She came forward and sat on the edge of the bed to remove her heels as he reached past her to the nightstand and tapped the electronic pad, kindling a nice fire in the hearth across the room. Seeing a cell phone stationed next to it made her realize he apparently had two phones, recalling the other he’d left downstairs. It reminded her to text Tabitha and Evie. It also brought forth the wary question, “Why do you have two cell phones?”

“Claudia only has this number,” he said without hesitation while unlocking the phone to show her the numerous text messages and unopened voice mails. “The other one is where I take business as well as personal calls.”

Unable to help it, Kennedi scrolled through the text messages that were mostly demands that Trenton respond to the voice mails. She gave a look at him over her shoulder. He lay stretched out on his back with eyes closed, an arm above his head. The second she clicked off the lamp and slid in next to him, he drew her in tight within the sheltering warmth of his body, her back to his front, his arm secured across her waist, his head tucked close at the back of her neck.

“I love you, Kennedi,” he muffled on the draft of a sigh into her hair. “I just need you to know that.”

There lay the problem. She loved him too.

She slipped out of the heavy weight of his arm and the crowd of his body that practically pinned her to the mattress and padded out of the room.

The group text to her friends that said she was at Trenton’s place received full objection in all caps from Tabitha, but subtle support from Evie. Deciding not to focus on it, she returned and admiringly gazed upon Trenton shaded in the firelight, from his mussed silky dark hair to the bulk of his upper body well defined beneath his T-shirt, on down to his lean, muscle-cut thighs outlined perfectly in his tailored slacks. She marveled at how beautiful she found him. Even the smooth angles of his bare feet got a rise out of her.

“I thought you left.” Seeing his eyes closed, his voice was a rumbled murmur, startling her.

“I needed to text Tabitha and Evie, so they wouldn’t worry.” She slipped back in bed and lay staring up at the vaulted skylight, her mind a jumble of thoughts. “We look out for one another.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you think the baby’s yours?”

His eyes slowly opened and cool, stormy blues locked on her. “Hell if I know. I had a single moment of weakness, of nostalgia for when our relationship was good. But Claudia hadn’t changed. She was still sleeping with her lover, and God only knows who else. I can’t be sure until we have the DNA test, so I’m stuck wondering. And worrying.”

“Those papers said counseling will start in a couple of weeks.”

“Yes.”

She pulled her gaze from his and faced the ceiling once more as reality pressed down heavier on her heart. “I see. It could help you get past the hurt and bitterness, give you a chance to repair what was broken. I wish you both well.” Hardening her resolve, she rolled to get out of bed as more tears started to choke her up, but he caught her wrist and came up on his elbow. “Trent, don’t.”

His gaze roamed over her face then held steady with hers. “I wasn’t looking to meet a wonderful, caring, amazing woman like you, but I did. And I fell hard in love with you. We can get through this. The counseling is only for a month.”

“A month, and you were going to keep deceiving me throughout it. We’d go about our day like the happy couple, then you’d sneak off to your marital counseling sessions? Is that how it was supposed to work?”

“No, and it’s not marital counseling. You read the agreement.”

“Then I’ll call it what it is. You lied to me. How can I ever trust you? For all I know you’ve been spending time with her the entire time we’ve been together.”

“Until the other day, I hadn’t seen Claudia in months.”

Kennedi’s eyes went wide. “The other day? You were with her the other day?” She shook her head. “You know, whatever.”

“It was a video conference call with our attorneys present to try to negotiate terms and—” He broke off and dropped his head on a heavy exhale, his forehead resting on her bare shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you, Kennedi. I can’t lose you.” His voice shook.

She grappled against her battered emotions—anger, despair, and deep-seated love for this man—as raw feelings of loss gripped her with soul-crushing force. “Trent, this is all too much for me.”

His head came up, the wetness in his eyes glittering in the low firelight, his gaze holding hers for a long, silent moment. Then he blinked and a tear dotted her shoulder. Her heart shattered into micro pieces.

“I understand. I never deserved you, Kennedi.” He smiled around the tremendous sadness conveyed in his tone and turned away, lying on his back, eyes closed.

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyelids as she cried while a deeply embedded yearning to have him weighed down upon her. She was near frantic to bathe in his closeness, his comfort, his love. She longed to fall asleep in his arms every night and wake sprawled together every morning. Overwhelmed by the rush of emotions, the pained emptiness that struck with fierce precision all the way down to her soul, she crawled on top of him and palmed the lightly stubbled angles of his cheeks.

Her lips came down hard and insistent over his and surprisingly met resistance. “Kiss me back.” Her voice quivered against the harsh lines of his mouth. She tried again and he turned away.

“What are you doing, Kennedi?”

“Trying to make love to you.” Needing his touch, his love, his everything, she reached between them and started unbuckling his belt, but he caught her hand. “Trent, I need you,” she cried softly.

“One last fuck for the road, is that it?” His words were just above a trembling whisper, yet she heard the anger slicing through the hurt. “Your needs, it’s that simple for you?” he gritted, his features tight. Pushing her off him, he jerked out of his clothes, then came in between her legs and wrenched her dress up.

She shook her head—it hadn’t been what she meant at all—yet let him strip her naked, his touch mechanical and indifferent. Then he thrust inside her so hard and deep, over and over, riding her body with his face buried in the pillow, caught in the rigid throes of lust, she had to pin a palm flat against the solid mahogany headboard to prevent her crown from banging into it. Almost instantly she arched sharply into an orgasmic knot of pleasure, her thighs locking, her sex throbbing, her climax easily provoked by his feral urgency, but she wanted more than that. She wanted him.

Fisting his hair, she yanked his head back and claimed his mouth in hot and greedy desperation. He tried to break away, but she latched onto his head with both hands, holding tight as her tongue forced past his lips and began a slow, rolling exploration. Feeling his resistance wane, she lightened her hold and massaged his scalp, his thick, silky locks slipping through her fingers. She stroked on down his heated back, caressing over corded, muscled tension. On down, kneading and squeezing his smooth ass.

A deep, guttural moan tore from him that she sucked in with ardent kisses, a sign of sweet surrender as his tongue began to lick and toy with hers. In that same instant, the hot rush of his release flooded her channel, and his swift-working hips eased to a gentle rocking while their kisses lingered well past their shared climax.

He broke away and their gazes held, a quiet study of one another before he lifted off her and left the bed, crossing to the bathroom.

The wariness and distress in his eyes tore her heart open. As tears streamed, she got up, straightened the bedsheets, grabbed the comforter that’d found its way to the floor and dressed the bed. Across the room, the bathroom door opened as she slipped under the covers. The sight of him standing in all his beautiful naked form immersed in the glow of the firelight literally stole her breath.

Swiping away the wetness on her cheeks, she scooted to the far side of the bed. “If you want me to leave, say it.”

He got in bed but kept distance between them, turning away from her.

As they lay in the quiet, she listened to the slow roll of his breathing, letting it lull her and soothe her knotted tension while she burrowed within the blanket. The scent of him lingered in the fabric, offering the warmth, the calm, the comfort he withheld until exhaustion finally drew her under.

An arm sliding across her waist startled Kennedi from a brief sleep. He spooned himself in close at her back, and she brought his hand to rest against her heart. Closing her eyes, she drifted back off to sleep.