Chapter 12

Candice

The past week has flown by. With getting everything set for tour and avoiding Mick since I slept at his place. So much for the tour being less complicated than staying in London. It’s two days before we’re set to leave, and I pop round to Caroline’s office for lunch.

“Knox still not talking to you?” I ask her, taking a seat across from her at the desk. Caroline hands me a sandwich. Looking closer at her, there are bags that scream sleepless nights.

“Nope. You?” she asks.

“No. I thought we were protecting him and The Hestons by not telling him. Now I feel like we made it even worse.” The turkey sandwich before me is unappetizing. Knox and I haven’t gone this long without talking since he got clean. For Caroline, the silent treatment must all be new.

“I know he hasn’t said anything to Felix, and he’s been going to the studio all week so I’m assuming everything is fine. Now to get him to talk to us…” she says.

“We leave on Saturday. It’s already Thursday.” There’s no way Caroline is going to be able to concentrate on her job if they don’t fix this.

“I don’t know what to do. We’ve never had a fight like this before—even when he was doing coke,” she says. Caroline told me after we left the diner, Knox and she had gotten into it. He was devastated we didn’t tell him the truth.

“I’m so sorry, Caroline. I shouldn’t have told you.”

“No don’t. It’s good you did. You’re my sister too and I want to be there for you.” She takes a sip from the bottled water next to her. “Let’s talk about something else. What happened after we left?”

“Oh—” My pause causes Caroline’s eyes to go wide.

“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with Mick,” she says. I don’t make eye contact with her. “Candice. No. No no.”

“We didn’t have sex if that’s what you mean but I did sleep there—in the same bed as him.” It’s like I’m confessing to my mum and the heat creeps into my cheeks.

“On Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“But you were in the house when I woke up.”

“I got his bodyguard to drop me off before you woke up,” I say. Thankfully, Caroline and Knox haven’t gotten a dog for Lottie yet, otherwise my cover would have definitely been blown.

“Nothing else happened though, right?”

“Well—not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” she asks.

“We kissed but it was like a thirty second kiss. Nothing crazy. We didn’t do anything else I swear,” I say.

“Damn, Candice.” She shakes her head, “So what’s going on now?”

“Nothing actually. I’m avoiding him,” I say. I’ve even gone as far as to hide in a custodian closet when he was standing at the opposite end of the hallway.

“Probably for the best. I’ve told you how much of a nightmare he’s been this week.” She takes a bite of her sandwich.

This week at rehearsals Mick has yelled at Caroline a total of ten times for the most miniscule details. The worst is when he freaked out when she showed him the numbers for the merchandise she ordered. Mick then told her to order more and get her head out of her ass. It’s hard to believe it’s the same guy who comforted me the other night.

“Caroline?” Conner McDowell pokes his head into her office. Conner, a Scot, has spiky blonde hair, tattoos up his arms and his smile, damn, that boy can drop panties with his cheeky grin. Except when I look at him, I see a guy I want to be my best friend. Beneath all his banter and oversexed personality, he’s been quite lovely to me.

“What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” he asks.

“You bet.” She nods.

I take that as my hint to skedaddle. Caroline’s job is part tour manager, part human resources.

“You look beautiful today, Candice.” Conner grins at me.

“Never going to happen, Conner.” I pat him on the shoulder.

“Sure, babe. That’s what they all say.”

I laugh as I shut the door behind me. As I take a few steps down the hall, I can hear Mick and Tommy’s voices bounce off the walls.

Hide Candice.

There’s a closet to my right and I yank the door open and close it without making a sound. Their voices get closer and closer until, unknowingly to them, they’re right in front of me. I hold my breath and wait for them to pass. It’s not that I don’t want to see him, my brain is clogged with not knowing what to do. Although my body wants him, my mind reminds me of the painful memories of breaking up with Felix. After I’m sure they’re gone, I sneak back out into the hallway and let out a sigh. This is becoming harder than I had thought.

******

Managing to get home unseen by Mick, my house is reminding me how terrible I am at domestic chores. My bedroom is a mess. Nadine wants me to come out tonight, but I haven’t even started packing. There’s a knock at the front door. It’s got to be her, trying to drag me out. She’s always showing up unannounced.

“I come in peace.” Mick holds up a bottle of bubbly rosé.

“What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live?” I cross my arms. Mick slides past me and sits down on my couch. He places the wine on the coffee table.

“I want to take you out for dinner,” he says.

“No. I can’t. Gotta pack.”

“And clean by the looks of it.” He picks up a container of old fried rice. I won’t admit it to him, but that’s been there for a few days.

“Did you come to lecture me?” I raise my eyebrows.

“No, I came to ask you to have dinner with me.”

“I ordered Thai food,” I say. I shift on my feet, standing a good foot away from him.

“Good. I like nights in.” He kicks off his shoes and they tumble by the coffee table. “Come over here.” He pats the couch beside him.

“No way.” I shake my head.

“Why not?” He sits back up.

“Because you’ve been either MIA or yelling at Caroline basically all week.”

“You snuck out! I thought you were mad or something.”

“So are you going to tell me the truth about why you’ve been ignoring me then?” I shuffle a bit closer.

“I could tell you, but I don’t want to.” He shrugs.

“What? How come?” I ask.

“‘Cause I don’t want to. At all actually. I’ll tell you and then you’ll get all mad or mushy and then I’ll have to let you down easy and I’m just not in the mood for it all.” He smirks.

“You are such a cocky prick.” I roll my eyes and the doorbell rings. I go to grab my purse and when I come back out Mick has already paid for the food.

“How much food did you order? You do realize you’re leaving in two days, right?” he asks. I had gone a little overboard with the ordering.

“I wanted Pad Thai, but then yellow curry sounded good, so I got both and you have to get spring rolls and salad rolls obviously.” I take the bag from him.

“Obviously.” Mick follows me into my kitchen. I throw my purse on the counter.

“You didn’t have to pay you know,” I say. I open the cupboard and place two plates on the counter.

“What can I say, I’m a gentleman.” He leans against the counter. “Mostly.”

“Gross.” I stop shoveling Pad Thai onto my plate and our eyes meet.

“I think you like me a lot more than you say you do.” Mick moves closer to me.

“I think you think that I like you more than what I say I do,” I say.

“What?” he asks, and I start laughing. He’s so close to me that the heat radiating off him causes my skin to tingle.

“I have no idea.”

“You’re as confusing as you are pretty.” He smiles down at me.

“Stop it. Don’t compliment me,” I whisper.

“Fine you’re disgusting,” he says and tips my chin up to look into his eyes.

“Mick.” I close my eyes. I don’t want to give into him, but my body betrays me.

“Make me.” He kisses me slow. I wrap an arm around his neck, and he hoists me up on the counter. He starts to kiss me deeper as he tugs on my sweater, and I can feel every ounce of sanity leaving. Mick runs a hand through my hair and my scalp tickles. Everywhere he touches me feels like fire. My eyes are still closed when he breaks the kiss. My lips are craving the connection again.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“I’m hungry,” he says and grabs one of the plates to start filling it.

“You wanker!”

“There’s plenty of time for us to make out later.” He snickers.

“Nope, you’ve missed your chance,” I say and hop off the counter.

“Sure. Whatever you say,” he says as he grabs his plate and heads into my living room.

I let out a long breath. What the hell are you doing? My thoughts are cloudy when that idiot is around. While I can blame lust for the instant need to touch him, there’s something lingering beneath. It’s an emotion I’ll never acknowledge again.

“Can you bring me some water?” Mick calls from the living room.

“Yes, your majesty.” I pour a glass of water then walk into the living room to hand it to him. He’s sitting on the floor with his back propped up against the couch. I head back to the kitchen for wine glasses and my dinner.

“Are we drinking tonight?” Mick asks as I join him on the floor.

“Yup we are,” I say and pour two glasses from the bottle of wine Mick brought. I down my drink fast and pour another one.

“Slow down, tiger. I want you to last the night.” He chuckles.

“We’re not having sex, Mick. Don’t even try.” I take a smaller sip this time from my glass.

“I won’t,” he says.

“Good.”

“Plus, we have ten months of tour. I can’t sleep with you yet ‘cause then you’ll be begging me for it all the time.” He smirks.

“You disgust me,” I say and stab my fork into a spring roll.

“I disgust you so much that you make out with me in your kitchen.”

“Shut—” The knock at the door cuts me off.

“Tell whoever it is to go away. I want to hear your witty retort.” Mick takes a few bites from his plate.

I laugh as I open the door. My eyes go wide at the person waiting on the other side. “Felix.” I breathe. I block the entrance so he can’t see Mick sitting on my floor.

“Hey, beauty,” he says. Felix looks as if he’s aged five years. The other night at Knox’s place, it must have been too dark to see the lines on his face have gotten deeper and the bags under his eyes are more prevalent. He’s wearing a T-shirt, so his arms and sleeve tattoos are on full display. His arms are one of the many things that attracted me to him in the first place.

“What are you, uhm, doing here?” I ask.

“I just wanted to see you. The other night at your brother’s, I just think we have so much more to talk about.” He places a hand on the door, trying to open it further.

“You’ve seen me,” I say. “Good to see you. Bye.” The door starts to creep closed but Felix places his boot just in time to stop it from shutting.

“Who’s in there?” he asks.

“No one. I—I’m by myself.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” His eyes narrow at me.

“I don’t have to let you in, and I need to go. Good to see you,” I say.

Felix pushes the door and before I can grasp it, it’s fully open. Mick stands up.

“What the fuck is this douchebag doing here?” Felix asks me.

“I could say the same thing about you, mate.” Mick walks over to us.

“Candice?” Felix’s eyes are bouncing back and forth.

“We’re just hanging out,” I say and cross my arms.

“Why are you hanging out with him? I knew it. You’re fucking him, aren’t you? In my house.”

My blood runs cold. There it is. It’s the hard truth. The only reason I’ve been able to be here is because Felix still pays for everything. Now Mick knows.

“This is what I get for being in love with someone like you—"

Mick’s fist collides with Felix’s jaw, and he collapses to the ground.

“You don’t get to talk to her that way,” Mick says.

Felix shakes himself off as he gets up and shoves Mick back. He stumbles but doesn’t fall. Mick takes another swing and connects with Felix’s nose. There’s a scream and it takes me a moment to realize it’s coming from me. Felix’s nose gushes crimson and he holds his face.

“Mick, stop,” I say and rush over to Felix. Mick takes a step back.

“Jesus,” I say as I pull my sweater off and hold it to his nose.

“You’re dead!” Felix shouts at Mick.

“Looks like I was winning.” Mick shrugs.

“Go inside,” I say, and Mick doesn’t argue. I apply more pressure to Felix’s nose. “You should go,” I say to Felix.

“You’re picking him?” he asks.

“I’m asking you to leave,” I say, “Did you drive here?”

“No, George did.” George has been Felix’s bodyguard and driver since before we met. If there’s anyone I miss the most from my relationship with Felix, it’s George.

“I’m sorry but you can’t do this anymore. I will always love you, but you can’t come around whenever you feel. It’s not right. And whoever I choose to spend my time with is my choice.”

“It’s so hard, Candy.” The weight of him is a bit hard to keep steady as I help him stand. He holds the sweater to his face still.

“I know. And thank you for all you’ve done for me. I don’t think I’ve ever said thanks before. I can’t keep continuing to use you. It just makes everything a bit messier.”

“You’re not using me.”

“I am. You’ve paid for everything and once I have the money, I’m going to pay you back.”

“Don’t do that. You don’t owe me anything. I’m so sorry for coming here and I’m sorry for causing shit,” he says.

“It’s fine.” My gut squeezes a bit as I resist the urge to touch him. He was my person for so long, the muscle memory of holding him while he is hurting is still there.

“This is it I guess. Good luck on tour. I’ll get you a new sweater,” he says and turns to walk up the stairs away from my flat.

“Make sure George takes you to the hospital or clinic or something to get checked out,” I say to his back.

“For someone so wiry, he sure can throw a punch.” Felix’s default is always to joke. He leaves quick.

With one last look, I open my front door. So many emotions swirl in my stomach. Mick’s sitting on the couch, ringing his hands.

“I’m so sorry, Candice.” He stands up. It takes me only three steps to get to him. My hands grasp the front of his shirt and our lips crash against each other. It takes a second for him to realize what’s happening before he starts to kiss me back. He pulls me in tighter.

“What was that for?” he asks when I stop. His arms are still around my waist.

“No one has ever stood up for me before.” My voice is quiet. In his arms, there’s a feeling of safety.

“Remind me to do it more often.” He smiles.

“Where did you learn how to fight like that?” I ask and we sit down on the couch.

“It’s a long story actually.” He scratches the back of his neck.

“How long can it be? Did you learn from Rocky or something?”

“No…” he trails off. An unreadable emotion crosses his face. He hesitates for another moment before replying. “My dad wasn’t a good dad.”

“Oh, so he taught you to fight?” I ask.

“No. More like he beat the shit out of me till I learned how to fight back.”

“You’re not serious,” I say. How could any parent do that to their child?

“Very. Look don’t make a big deal out of it. It was a long time ago and I don’t really want to talk about it,” he says.

“What about Violet?” I ask.

“I made sure he didn’t touch her.” Mick looks at me.

I’m speechless. I have nothing to say that will make this better, so I kiss him. He pushes me back on the couch so I’m lying down. He places a hand at the base of my head.

“Ouch,” he says.

“What?” I ask. My gaze lands on his bloody and swollen hand. “I’ll be right back.”

I wiggle out from underneath him and go to the kitchen. I fill a bucket with ice and hand it to him.

“Thanks. Swelling isn’t probably good for the guitar hand,” he says.

“And you have to play tomorrow! Caroline is going to kill me.”

“It’s fine. I’ve played through worse.” He places his hand in the bucket and winces.

My hands tremble as I sit beside him again and reach for his good hand. “Thank you again. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it again. Seriously don’t. And don’t tell Caroline or Knox,” he says.

“I won’t but I bet you Felix will tell Knox,” I say. “Can I ask you one more favor?”

“What?” His blue eyes sparkle.

“Stay tonight.”

“I think it’s the least you could do for me.” He winks.

I lean my head against his shoulder, and he rests his on mine. I don’t want anything else to ruin this moment.