CHAPTER 195

CHAPTERS 194
LILY POV

AGAIN...
Samantha’s car glided through the streets of Chicago with an almost irritating smoothness. I sat in the passenger seat, hands pressed over my belly, feeling every curve of the road like a wave in my stomach. The sky was gray, heavy with low clouds, and the December cold seeped through the window cracks, making my skin prickle. I stared outside but didn’t really see anything. My mind was stuck in an endless loop: Five months. Five months carrying a life that still felt unreal, even when I felt it kicking gently against my palm.

Samantha drove in silence, her hands steady on the wheel, her elegant and controlled profile as composed as always. Every now and then, she glanced at me from the corner of her eye, as if she wanted to say something but changed her mind. I was grateful for the silence. I wasn’t sure I could hold a conversation without falling apart.

When we arrived at the Elizabeth Ridge clinic, my heart raced so fast I could feel my pulse in my throat. The building was discreet and modern, with dark glass and subtle but visible security. As soon as we got out of the car, I saw Ashley and her parents already at the entrance. Ashley looked impeccable — a true pregnant Barbie. Her blonde hair fell in perfect waves, her makeup was subtle, and her clothes elegantly accentuated her belly without showing a single extra gram of fat. If it weren’t for the obvious curve, no one would guess she was pregnant. She looked radiant, as if pregnancy was just an accessory that made her even more beautiful. I, on the other hand, felt bloated, tired, with dark circles that even makeup couldn’t hide.

Her parents waved politely but tensely at Samantha. We approached. Ashley smiled at me — a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Hi, Lily. Ready for today?”

I forced a smile.

“Ready enough.”

We went in together. The clinic’s interior was clean, modern, and almost welcoming, but I felt the weight of reality in every corner. We sat in the waiting room. I chose a seat as far from Ashley as possible, but I could still smell her perfume — sweet, expensive, suffocating. Ashley chatted excitedly with her mother about baby names. I remained silent, one hand on my belly, feeling my baby move as if responding to my nervousness.

My name was called first. I stood up, legs trembling. Samantha came with me, holding my hand firmly.

The doctor was a middle-aged woman with a calm, professional voice. She did the routine checks: blood pressure, weight, questions about symptoms. Then came the ultrasound.

I lay down on the exam table, lifted my shirt, and felt the cold gel on my belly. My heart was beating so hard I was afraid the machine would pick it up instead of the baby’s heartbeat.

The screen lit up.

And there she was — or he.

Small, perfect, moving slowly. The tiny heart beating fast, strong, alive. I felt a sob rise in my throat. Samantha squeezed my hand, her eyes watery.

The doctor moved the transducer carefully, smiling.

“And here it is… it’s a girl.”

A girl.

The words echoed inside me like a bell. A girl. My daughter. Our daughter.

“A girl…” I whispered, my voice breaking.

I started crying. I couldn’t hold it back. Silent tears rolled down my face as I stared at the image on the screen — the delicate profile, the little hands, the tiny feet. Samantha was crying too, squeezing my hand so tightly it hurt, but I didn’t care. It was a cry of relief, fear, and a love so big I didn’t know where to put it. She leaned in and hugged me, her tears mixing with mine.

“A girl…” she whispered, her voice choked. “My granddaughter.”

Samantha took her phone out and snapped a picture of the screen. Then she quickly typed a message. I wiped my tears and asked, my voice still shaky:

“Who did you send it to?”

Samantha put the phone away, smiling slightly.

“To your father. He asked me to let him know as soon as we found out.”

I nodded, but inside I felt a pang. I wished it had been sent to Samuel. I wanted him to know it was a girl. I wanted to imagine his reaction — the shock, the smile, maybe even tears. I wanted him here, holding my hand, crying with me. But I said nothing. I just kept staring at the screen while the doctor finished.

After the exam, the doctor gave me instructions and let me get dressed. When I left the room, Ashley was waiting with her parents. Samantha went in with them for Ashley’s ultrasound.

I stayed in the waiting room, heart still racing. After a few minutes, Samantha came out alone.

“She asked for a bit more privacy this time,” Samantha explained, sitting down beside me.

I nodded, but I couldn’t stay quiet for long.

“Samantha… I need to know.”

She looked at me, concerned.

“What?”

“When are you going to tell Samuel? About me. About the baby.”

Samantha took a deep breath, choosing her words very carefully.

“It’s not the right time yet, Lily. Samuel needs to focus on the band. They’re just getting started in Paris. An album, a tour… if he finds out now, he might drop everything. And I don’t want him to throw his future away. Or the babies’ futures. I’m protecting all of you.”

I felt a sharp mix of anger and pain.

“And do you think he’d be happy to know he’s going to be the father of a girl? That he has a daughter?”

Samantha stayed silent for a moment, looking at her own hands.

“I don’t know, Lily. Samuel is… complicated. He loves intensely, but he runs when things get hard. I don’t want him to run from this responsibility. I want him to come back, but when he’s ready.”

I looked down, feeling the tears threatening to return.

“I just wanted him to know… that she exists.”

Samantha took my hand.

“He’ll know. In time. I promise.”

We stayed silent until Ashley came out of the room with her parents. She was glowing, smiling from ear to ear.

“So?” Samantha asked, standing up.

Ashley placed her hand on her belly, proud.

“Everything’s fine. And it’s a girl.”

A chill ran down my spine. Two girls. From the same father.

Samantha smiled, but I saw the tension in her eyes.

“How wonderful. Two granddaughters.”

On the way back to the car, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Two girls. Two lives Samuel didn’t even know existed. And I, carrying mine in secret, waiting for the right moment that might never come.

I placed my hand on my belly and whispered softly, just to myself:

“We’ll figure this out, little one. I promise.”

But deep down, I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise.