Chapter 58

MIA

I turn around, breathless, looking over the back seat and out the rear window. Dean’s driving fast enough that the compound quickly shrinks until it’s far enough away that I can’t see it anymore.

As far as I’m concerned, I’ll never see it again.

“It’s fine. Nobody saw me.” Dean lets out a breath like he’s relieved. “Now, are you going to tell me why you had me come and get you? Did somebody hurt you? Don’t tell me it was Zeke. I’ll go back there and kill him right now.”

“No. I mean, yeah, but not the way you think. It’s him and my father. Both of them. They’ve been lying to me all this time.”

“Lying about what?” He glances at me before turning back to the road. “Oh, no. You opened the email, didn’t you?”

“Of course, I did. You told me to.”

“But I didn’t think you would do it right away. I didn’t want things to turn out like this.”

“Well, they have.”

“So now you know. You know your family’s part of… all of that.”

He sounds disgusted, and he should. I know I feel that way. “How did I not know? How did I not see it? Now, when I’m looking back, it all comes together. It’s so obvious.” “Don’t do that to yourself,” he murmurs. “It’s always easy to look back and think what you could’ve done or should’ve done. Think about it enough, and you’ll drive yourself nuts.” He sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.

And he makes sense, too. He was definitely the right person to reach out to. If Posey was anywhere nearby, she’d be freaking out right now. So would Blair. Anyway, Dean already knows who Dad is, who I am just by being his daughter. He’s the most logical choice.

“I’m never going back there. Not ever.” I hate how my voice shakes almost as much as I hate the tears that want to roll down my cheeks. I won’t let them. I’m done crying. Besides, crying isn’t going to help me put a plan together, and that’s what I need to do. I need to figure out a way to hide.

“How am I going to get away with this?” I cover my face with my hands. I can’t even access any money. “I have nowhere to go.”

“I told you I’d get you back to campus, and that’s what I’m going to do. You can get your stuff together, and we’ll figure it out from there.”

My hands fall into my lap. He’s right. I have to figure something out one step at a time. If he could take me to Blair’s house, I might be able to hide out there for a while. She’s probably home by now. If not, I’ll have to think of something else. There has to be a way. I won’t let him do this to me.

I won’t let either of them do this to me.

How could Zeke do this to me?

“It’s going to be okay,” Dean assures me. “You managed to get by before your dad found you. You can do it again.”

“That’s true. I’m sure you’re right.” I wish I believed myself, but it’s not easy. Not when I know the lengths my father is willing to go to so long as it means keeping me under his thumb. And now, if there’s another family involved? Somebody he wants to form an alliance with or whatever? He’s not going to let this go. I have to be smarter than him.

My phone buzzes. Right on schedule. I pull it out, growling. “It’s Zeke. Big surprise.”

“Let me have that.” Dean holds his hand out. “Come on. Give it to me.”

“You’re not going to say anything to him, are you? Don’t. Don’t start a fight. I don’t want you to end up in trouble over this.”

“Give me the phone.” I place it in his palm with a sigh, dreading what’s about to happen. He surprises me by turning the phone off and sliding it into his coat pocket.

“Why did you do that?”

“So you won’t be tempted to let him convince you to come back. He’s only going to harass you, you know that.”

Good point. I don’t have anything to say to him, anyway. Nothing he doesn’t already know. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for trusting him. Opening myself up to him. How stupid could I be? He was never going to go against my dad. Not ever.

I look up in time to see the entrance ramp to the freeway zip past. “You missed the freeway.”

“I’m taking a different route. If he comes after us, that’s the route he’ll take.”

“I doubt he would catch up to us that fast. He was still in my dad’s office when I sneaked out.” I got lucky. The kitchen was wild, super busy with the dinner party tonight. Nobody was paying attention to insignificant little me. I guess they’re all used to Zeke being the one watching my every move—and if he didn’t think it was a problem for me to walk out through the back door, neither did they. I doubt any of them even noticed me.

Sometimes, it pays to be invisible in your own life.

“It doesn’t hurt to be careful.” I can only agree silently, resting my head against the seat. My God, how did everything fall apart all at once? It would be one thing to find out about Dad and what he does. What Zeke does for him or did. Security. I know what that means.

Learning about it would be bad enough.

But the whole marriage thing on top of it? How did he expect me to react? Acting like I was supposed to be happy. I always knew the man was clueless, but this is beyond anything I could imagine. And having the nerve to be pissed at me because I wasn’t grateful.

And I come from him. How could we be so different? Mom gave me more than just her last name, obviously. She gave me morals and principles, the knowledge of right and wrong. We might have been poor, but we never hurt anybody.

“I’m so tired,” I whisper. That word doesn’t begin to describe it. I’m empty, wrung out like an old rag. Eventually, this is all going to catch up to me and crash down over my head, and I might have to spend an entire week in bed, even though I don’t know where that bed will be or where I’ll land. I hope it’s soon since I don’t know how much longer I can go like this.

You managed to get by before your dad found you. What a weird thing to say. I never told him or anybody else specifics about my past. Only Zeke, and it’s not like those two spent time getting to know each other.

My name. Mom’s name.

Why does something seem strange about that, too? Like something invisible is tapping me on the shoulder, wanting me to pay attention. But what is it? I can’t even think.

My name. Casteel.

My father’s name. Morelli.

How did Dean know?

My eyes open slowly. I never told him my father had a different last name from mine. I never told anybody. Nobody was supposed to know—it was so obvious why, and I always suspected, didn’t I?

But of all the rules I tried to break, that wasn’t one of them. And I know for sure Zeke would never breathe the name around anybody. Not that he ever had the chance, either. He understood Dad’s need for secrecy even better than I did.

So how did Dean know I’m a member of the Morelli family?

“Can I have my phone back?” My voice is shaky, but for a different reason this time. “I want to check in with Blair. I want to see if I can meet up with her someplace.”

“You know you’re only going to end up talking to him, right?”

“But I need to call her. I have to know what’s going to happen after we get back to campus, and I grab the rest of my stuff.”

“How about I give it to you once we reach your condo?”

I force a laugh I don’t feel. “You’re starting to sound like

Zeke. Thinking you know better than I do.”

He doesn’t laugh. “Don’t ever compare me to him.”

My mouth is so dry all of a sudden. I’m afraid my heart will burst out of my chest—or at least that it will beat so fast it finally gives out. “You really hate him. I should’ve trusted you from the beginning. It’s like you saw something about him I didn’t see.” I have to keep him talking. I have to figure out how he knew about my father without me giving him a clue.

“He’s an asshole. No, worse than that.” His hands tighten around the wheel. “He’s fucking evil. I wanted so much to tell you, but you had to find out on your own.”

“What do you mean? I mean, how would you even know that? You never met him before, did you?” How, how did he know? He must’ve known Zeke before this. Maybe they were kids together. Maybe he knows Zeke went to work for Dad. But it still doesn’t make sense, really. Zeke’s seven years older than him, which means Dean would’ve been a little kid at the time. Something is missing.

“No, I never met him before I met you.” He’s breathing a little harder, and I couldn’t describe him as staring at the road ahead. More like glaring at it, so intense I can hardly breathe. “But I saw him before. Only once. But that was enough.”

“Really? Small world.” I can’t believe how hard it is to pretend I’m wiped out and exhausted when adrenaline is pumping through my veins hard enough to make me sick.

“It can be. I didn’t think I would ever see him again.” We blow past the next onramp for the interstate, and now I know he has no intention of taking me straight to school.

The doors are locked—though we’re doing fifty, close to fifty-five, almost racing down an access road running alongside the highway. Even if I could jump, I might be so banged up I wouldn’t be able to get up and run away.

“I really want my phone back,” I whisper. “Please. Maybe I can get Blair to meet me at school. That would save a lot of time, and you could head home again.”

“Home? Do you think I have a home?” He looks at me, and I wish he wouldn’t because we’re still tearing down the road. “I haven’t had a home since I was ten years old. Thanks to that motherfucker you sided with. You sided with him so many times. You’re so fucking stupid, so blind.”

“Dean! The road!” Reflex makes me reach out and try to adjust the wheel when he starts to drift off to the shoulder. He recovers quickly, a bitter laugh making my blood run cold.

“So stupid. You stupid, stupid bitch. Trusting him. I bet you fucked him, too, didn’t you? I saw the way he looked at you. At the beginning of the semester compared to the last time I saw him?” He whistles, shaking his head. “You must be fucking fantastic.”

“Why are you saying this? Where is this coming from? This doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“And how exactly would you know what I sound like? Maybe I only showed you what I wanted you to see, the way he always has. The way you let him.” He slams his palm against the wheel with every word.

Now there are tears in my eyes again. Not angry tears, not this time. “What are you saying? Who are you? What is this really about?”

“Oh, now you care. Now you want to comfort me, right? When you fucking rejected me all semester because you couldn’t see anything but him. That evil, murderous fuck, and he was all you wanted.”

“You’re right. I was blind. I only saw what I wanted to see. And now, you can tell me the truth. That’s all I want, the truth. You’ve already helped me so much, you know.”

“Helped you? I had to fucking spoon-feed it to you. You never even thought to pull back the curtain and see what was behind it, did you?” He shakes his head with a disgusted laugh. “No, you wouldn’t. Because your whole life changed for the better, right? Daddy found you, and he’s rich, and he’s connected, and why would you want to know anything more than that? It might ruin the fantasy.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Tell yourself whatever you need to do,” he snarls. “It doesn’t matter anyway. By the time this is finished, you won’t have to worry about anything. You or him.”

Now I wish I had let him drift off the road. I wish we had crashed into one of the concrete supports whizzing past on my right. It would be quicker than what I’m afraid he has in mind. “What are you trying to say?” I ask, feeling small and cold and so alone.

He smiles slowly, but it’s the smile of a demon before the real torture begins. I’ve never seen anything terrifying enough to make me almost lose control of my bladder. Not until now.

“I’m going to take away the thing he loves, the way he took away my life.” He sounds almost happy. “The night he

murdered my father in front of me.” No. That can’t be true.

Yet somewhere in my heart, I know it is.

“And I’m going to show him how it feels to watch somebody he loves die in front of him.” He’s calm. Serene. “Before I kill him, too.”