Chapter 91 Past
Enzo
I'm the one who should apologize. Because deep down, I know the problem here is me. She's trying so hard to overcome this gap, but I can't help what I've been programmed to feel since childhood.
I still want to break free from these shackles, but it's even harder because I know there's no turning back with her.
"We were in the middle of something, and I ruined it," she says, her eyes soft.
Leaving her room, I went to mine and took a cold shower, feeling utterly miserable. My whole life, I've had to be strong and unemotional. Rose is challenging everything I've become, and it's driving me crazy. The worst part is, I don't mind.
"You didn't ruin anything, darling. I promise."
"I talked to Mom about it and asked her advice. She told me to be patient. To accept who you are and what you're willing to give me." She said.
"And what about wishing for the best?" Something hard hit me in the chest.
She lets out a soft sigh. “Maybe this is my best option.”
My hand squeezes her waist. “No, I don’t accept this.”
“Enzo…” she says sadly.
“No. I’ll tell you everything. Whatever you want to know. Because you’re mine, Rose. And it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as I can make you happy. That’s all I want, princess. I’m going to do it right. I swear.”
When she looks at me, her expression is open, and she nods understandingly. My heart pounds as I lean in to kiss her. Her lips fit perfectly against mine, as if they were made for this. She was made to be mine. And I'll be damned if I ever let her go.
When we get home, I tell her everything. About my parents' deaths. How someone broke into our house.
"It happened in a matter of minutes. The killer snuck up on us. We were alone in the house, eating dinner. I remember us smiling; we were happy. Until we noticed someone in the room. My father barely had time to draw his gun before his throat was slit," I swallow quietly.
Rose sits on the bed and looks at me with eyes like puddles of heartache. I leaned against the wall, trying to look anywhere but at her. I asked her to give me a little time until I told her the truth. I couldn't feel her hands on me, reliving the worst day of my life.
"My mother screamed at me to run. But I couldn't; I was stunned. Only when he threw the knife into my mother's chest, and her screams died down, did I remember to move. I jumped up from my chair and moved toward her.
At that moment, the guards outside were alerted that something was wrong, and they were almost there. The killer only managed to slash my chest before running away. I was bleeding too. I probably would have died, but I was rushed to the emergency room, and I survived.”
Her eyes are glassy, but she blinks, and they clear a little. Very slowly, she gets out of bed. Her steps are careful. She wraps her arms around my waist as soon as she reaches me.
My lips curl into a slight smile.
"It happened about two decades ago. It's all right. But it had a lot to do with who I became and why. I may seem like a jerk sometimes, but if there was ever a reason to change, it would be you, Rose."
She shakes her head against my chest. "There's nothing terrible about what happened to you," she mutters.
I let her hug me for a few more seconds before she pulls away. She looks at me, and I can see she wants to say something, but hesitates.
"At least now I understand why you're such a loser," she says with a soft smile.
As soon as she says it, it becomes clear why I'm so drawn to her. Because she could say anything. I could have apologized, but instead I joked. Which is infinitely better.
I run a hand through my hair. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Princess."
She continues to smile, and I'm so glad everything is going so well.
"Your parents would be proud," Rose says, her expression turning serious.
"Sometimes I'm not so sure," I mutter.
"Try not to be too hard on yourself." Rose's hand reaches for my jaw. My skin tingles where she touches.
"You're marrying a woman you don't even know to protect your father's legacy. As crazy as it sounds, I think you're a good Don, a good leader. You're trying to take care of your family.”
I smile bitterly. "I'm sure they wouldn't agree. And you have no idea what I've been through, my dear. I haven't always made the right decisions."
"Yes, but yesterday is over, right? It's never too late to be better. You're trying to succeed right now, and for some crazy reason, you chose me," she counters. "That's all that matters. Now and in the future. We'll get through this together."
Her expression is so serious and insistent that I have to smile.
“That is, if you don’t kill me first,” I say.
"Or if you don't kill me," she retorts.
As she approaches, I kiss the top of her head.
"I'll die a thousand deaths before I hurt you," I say, not realizing until the words are out that I should have kept it to myself.
She pauses for a moment, looking into my eyes, and I know she knows it's true, and that can't be good.
What the hell did I just do?
"Did you ever find him?" Rose asks after a few minutes. "The man who killed them?"
Anger flares within me instantly, hot and furious.
"No," I croak out. "He got away. I never found him."
"I'm sorry, Enzo."
I'm not the one who needs to feel sorry for him when I find him. And not as sorry as I am for whoever helped him break into our house. I know the killer had to have had help.
Without it, he couldn't have gotten in, and he certainly couldn't have gotten out. I need to know what really happened.
All that's driven me these past few years is revenge. It's one of the reasons I came back to New York. I could have stayed out of it. For a while, I was more than content to let my uncles lead. I didn't give a damn about anything.
But when you see someone's eyes in your nightmares as often as I do, when their face haunts you every moment, there's no choice but to seek them out. To try to end it all.
But I'm afraid I've waited too long. And now all I have to chase are ghosts.