Chapter 44 Waiting For Roman
Elena
“Elena,” he greets amiably.
“Roman,” I say, my voice sounding a little out of breath. “Come in.”
I move away from the doorway, giving him access to our apartment. I watch him take in his surroundings, trying to see the house through his eyes. The walls are lilac, and the furniture is cream.
Considering we only moved in two days ago, the house is mostly empty, devoid of anything truly personal. Kiara and I took care to clear the living room of anything that might indicate a baby is living in the house.
Roman’s face remains blank. I wipe my sweaty palm on my dress and gesture for him to sit. His expression turns suspicious.
“You’re acting weird,” he says. “It’s disturbing.”
“Define weird?” I asked.
“Well, you haven’t made a joke or said anything mildly offensive or annoying in the last minute.”
Ah. He’d expect that from me. “I’ve changed.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Really? What brought on this…change?”
“Could you sit down and let me talk?” I ask, slightly frustrated.
He smirks, sitting down on the couch. I pause before doing the same.
“Would you like anything? Water? Juice?”
Roman’s eyebrows shoot up. “Now I know something’s wrong. Are you okay? Did something happen in England? Are you in trouble?”
“No, I’m not….I’m fine.” I said to him.
“Then why did you ask me to come here?” He inquired.
“You know this conversation would go faster if you just let me vent,” I snap.
I sigh internally because I was determined not to let him get to me. Roman unsettles me in a way no one else does. And I’m pretty sure he knows it. A smug smirk appears on his face as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Go ahead,” he says, gesturing for me to speak.
I open my mouth to do so, and then I lose my composure. Very slowly, my mouth closes, and I swallow hard. I turn away from him, staring at the wall.
“What’s wrong?” He was curious.
I shake my head.
“Roman, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer me honestly. Could you do that?”
His expression is thoughtful as he watches me. I catch a hint of worry in his dark eyes. And maybe some suspicion. Then I realized that the last time I asked him questions, we were fucking in his car. That’s what led to this nonsense. For some reason, I smile.
"Don't worry, I promise not to climb on you or do anything bad."
"Climb on me?" Roman says dryly, rolling his eyes. "Okay, ask your questions."
"Okay. First question: why? Do you hate me?”
He scoffs. “I don’t hate you, Elena.”
“You’ve hated me since I was a teenager. Roman, you couldn’t stand me. You made me feel like shit for wanting to pursue my dreams. We had sex, and it meant nothing to you. You treated me like trash,” I say through clenched teeth.
I didn’t call him here to complain, but Cassie is going to make us have a good relationship whether we like it or not. And I’d rather it be a relaxed relationship.
Roman lets out a long-suffering sigh, looking up at the ceiling. He's probably wondering why he came here in the first place. When he looks back at me, he's leaning back against the couch.
"Do you remember your freshman year of high school? You snuck into a senior party by yourself. You didn't know anyone there, and yet when a random guy offered you alcohol, you drank it without a second thought. Tony and I got there before anything could happen, but Elena, you were so close to following a guy into his room."
I shudder at the memory. I admit that back then, I was extremely immature, stupid, and still reeling from my mother leaving my life.
“Thank God you weren’t on drugs. Tony literally had to drag you out of the house. You got mad and kept yelling at your brother. You called him an asshole. You said he choked you. You told him to leave you alone,” Roman continues, clenching his jaw. “He didn’t do it that night, and he never did. But it was just one moment out of many when you had to endure so much.”
“So you hate me because I was an immature teenager who was angry because she missed her mom?” I ask, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Roman, you were an asshole to me for years! I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you because you either insulted me or humiliated me in some way. You made me feel like I was nothing.”
This time, it’s his turn to wince.
“I’m so sorry,” he says quietly. “I was an immature teenager, too. I watched my best friend struggle, and the sight of you like that pissed me off like hell. You didn’t realize what was right in front of you. You had a family, Elena.
A family that cared so much. I used to be a little jealous of your relationship with your father, and even with Tony. My family and I are close, of course, but not like yours. We were always more traditional, and our interactions were boring. And there you were, you didn’t know what you had, and you threw it all away. I couldn’t do anything but watch.”
“I’m not that girl anymore,” I whisper.
He looks me in the eye. “No, you’re not. You’ve grown up, Elena Legan. Matured. And as much as it pains me to admit it, you were right. You really did need to be away from your family to find yourself. Moving to college marked the beginning of your transition into adulthood. And I'm proud of you.”
I sighed softly, feeling an unsteady buzz in my chest. "I really wish we could leave all the hate behind."
"As I said, it wasn't hate. More like irritation directed at you because the situation was out of my control, and I didn't know how to help." He said.
"But you don't feel that way anymore?"
He shakes his head.
I smile. "Does that mean we're friends now?"
Roman tilts his head to the side. “Don’t get me wrong, you still annoy me.”
“Jerk,” I say, punching him in the shoulder.
He chuckles. “But yeah, I think we can be friends. You’re in my life, Elena. Always will be. That’s never going to change.”
“That’s really good. I’m so glad to hear that,” I say, nodding enthusiastically.
He raises an eyebrow.
“Why is that good?”
I take a quiet breath before blurting out the words I’ve been working on since he arrived.