Chapter 55
Chapter 55
The earth trembled behind us.
Julian pulled me through the trees, his hand gripping mine like if he let go, I’d vanish into dust. We didn’t speak. Not for a long time. Not until we reached the edge of the woods and the crypt was just a shadow behind us.
And even then—he didn’t let go.
“Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No.”
But my voice cracked.
He stopped walking. Turned to me slowly.
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.”
“Ana.”
“I said I’m fine.”
He stared at me for a beat longer, then reached up and gently tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Don’t lie to me. Not now.”
“I’m not,” I whispered. “I just don’t know what fine is supposed to feel like anymore.”
Julian lowered his hand. “You were incredible back there.”
I looked away. “I don’t feel incredible. I feel like I lost something.”
“You did.”
I closed my eyes. “I keep trying to tell myself it was something I didn’t want. Something that didn’t belong to me.”
“But it did,” he said. “For a time.”
“It was never love.”
“I know.”
“But it still felt like… like something. And now it’s gone.”
He nodded. “You mourn even the parts of yourself you hated.”
I laughed softly. “That’s twisted.”
“It’s human.”
I looked at him. “Do you think I’m still human?”
Julian’s expression softened. “You’re more than that.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have.”
I sat down on a moss-covered rock, burying my face in my hands. “I feel empty.”
Julian crouched in front of me. “You just bled out something you’ve carried for too long. That kind of freedom hurts.”
“I thought it would feel like winning.”
“It is.”
“Then why does it feel like losing everything all over again?”
Julian didn’t answer. Not right away. He waited. Patient. Silent. Until I was ready.
“I saw myself in him,” I admitted. “The darkness. The anger. The hunger.”
“You saw what he put in you,” Julian said gently. “That doesn’t mean it was ever yours.”
“But what if it still is?”
“It’s not.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I do.” He reached out, took my hand. “Because you killed him. Not for revenge. Not out of hate. But for peace.”
I stared at our hands. “I didn’t want peace. I wanted to forget.”
Julian shook his head. “You didn’t forget, Ana. You remembered. And you still chose to fight.”
“I’m so tired,” I whispered.
He stood and pulled me up into his arms. “Then rest.”
“Where?”
“With me.”
I hesitated. “I don’t know if I can love you the way I used to.”
“I’m not asking you to,” he said. “I’m asking you to let me love you however you’ll allow.”
I buried my face in his chest. “What if I break again?”
“Then I’ll hold the pieces until you’re ready.”
I laughed through tears. “That’s a terrible offer.”
He smiled into my hair. “It’s all I’ve got.”
“I might never be the woman you fell in love with.”
Julian’s voice broke. “You already are.”
I closed my eyes. “Then take me home.”
And this time—
He did.
No secrets.
No silence.
No fear.
Just two broken people walking into the dark—together.