Chapter 40

I don’t know why I expect him to stop me.

Maybe because he always has.

Because every time I ran, Julian was there.

Pulling me back.

Holding on.

Even when I hated him.

Even when I screamed at him.

Even when I swore I would never forgive him.

But now—now, he’s letting me go.

And it feels wrong.

I step closer, my heart pounding against my ribs, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Why aren’t you stopping me?"

Julian’s breath catches.

Just for a second.

So fast I almost don’t notice.

Almost.

His fingers twitch at his sides, like he wants to reach for me but forces himself not to.

Then—his jaw tightens, his gaze flickering away.

He exhales slowly.

Controlled. Careful.

Like he’s already made peace with something I haven’t.

I shake my head, frustrated, lost, aching. “Say something.”

Julian doesn’t move.

His gray eyes flicker with something unreadable.

Then, softly—so softly it almost breaks me—

"What do you want me to say?"

I freeze.

Because I don’t know.

I don’t know what I want him to say.

I just know that I don’t want this.

I don’t want the silence.

I don’t want him to look at me like I’ve already made my choice—like I’ve already walked away, even though I haven’t moved.

I inhale sharply. “You always stop me, Julian.”

His lips press into a thin line.

I step forward, my hands trembling at my sides.

“You always chase me,” I whisper. “You never let me go.”

Julian finally meets my gaze.

His expression shatters something inside me.

Because it’s not cold.

Not distant.

Not the careful mask he usually wears.

It’s raw.

Broken.

A storm of emotions I can’t name.

“I can’t force you to stay, Ana.” His voice is hoarse, wrecked. “Not anymore.”

My stomach twists.

Because that’s not the answer I wanted.

That’s not the Julian I know.

The Julian I know is relentless.

The Julian I know would rather burn the world down before he let me slip through his fingers.

The Julian I know would never just… let me go.

I shake my head. “That’s not who you are.”

A bitter laugh escapes him. “Maybe that’s the problem.”

I flinch.

Julian drags a hand through his hair, his breathing uneven now.

“You think I don’t want to stop you?” His voice is sharper now, a desperate edge bleeding through. "You think I don’t want to keep you here, safe, away from all of this?"

I swallow hard.

"Then do it," I whisper.

Julian exhales sharply.

His fingers curl into fists. "No."

The word hits like a blow to the chest.

I stare at him, my pulse hammering. "Why not?"

He looks at me then.

Really looks at me.

And for a split second—I swear he almost breaks.

Then—his voice drops.

"Because I love you too much to keep you like this."

My breath catches.

The words knock the air from my lungs.

Because I wasn’t ready for them.

Not like this.

Not in this moment—not when everything is already slipping through my fingers.

Julian’s gaze is steady, but there’s something else now.

Something aching.

"I’ve spent so much time trying to protect you," he murmurs. "Trying to keep you from remembering, from hurting. From becoming someone you didn’t want to be."

I don’t move.

I don’t breathe.

He steps closer, his voice barely above a whisper.

"But that’s not my choice to make."

Tears burn at the back of my throat.

Because I know what he’s saying.

I know what he’s doing.

He’s letting me decide.

For the first time, he’s giving me the choice he never gave me before.

And I hate him for it.

Because I don’t want to choose.

I just want him to fight.

To pull me back.

To make this easier.

But Julian has always been selfish with me.

And this—this is the first selfless thing he’s ever done.

I shake my head, my voice breaking. "Julian—"

His hand lifts—just slightly.

Like he wants to touch me.

Like he’s trying so hard not to.

"Stay." His voice cracks on the word. "If you want to stay—stay."

I blink back the tears that threaten to fall.

"But only if it’s what you want," he whispers.

My chest aches.

Because for the first time—he’s not asking for himself.

He’s asking for me.

And I don’t know if I can handle that.

I turn away.

I need air.

I need space.

I need to breathe.

Julian doesn’t stop me.

And this time—I don’t want him to.