“Why am I faster,” I ask lying in bed at the lodge.
“White wolves are notoriously faster,” Adam replies his arms wrapping tighter around me.
“Ohh and stronger?” I ask, rubbing the tip of his nose with mine.
Adam laughs before making a face, “Not at all.”
Rain pounds the windows but I hardly notice. It’s been that way all week and with nothing else to do, Adam has my complete attention.
The lodge is still dangerous territory with Susan making my time unbearable. During holidays, Adam is required to be visible to the pack and I’m along for the ride. Even on this rainy day, I can’t figure out why we need to be here.
“Can we go to town today,” I beg, pulling myself tighter against him.
Adam sighs before rolling over. Lakeview is a ghost town. Adam shut the door on any visits from outside packs, which actually dwindled the size of the town. Anyone who wants to visit Lakeview must petition. It’s tedious and pointless, since Adam denies every request.
No one says anything, but the new rule is my fault. I’m the bait and leverage. Adam is the prize.
“Adam,” Susan yells, her voice penetrating the entire lodge.
It takes everything I have not to roll my eyes. Adam ignores her beckoning.
“Adam,” She shouts from the base of the steps.
Adam shoots an apologetic look before kissing my forehead. There’s little desire to go downstairs and face Susan but I’m interested in knowing why she’s screaming at us.
Susan scowls in the kitchen, “There’s been an attack on our land.” Adam shakes his head, either in disbelief or because it isn’t true, “If you weren’t so busy and had your phone on you, you might have received the message.”
Susan whips the phone across the room. Adam reaches out before it smashes into the wood wall. Scrolling through the messages, he finds exactly what Susan said he would find. I lean over, with him tipping the phone so I can read.
Adam’s brother reports on the attack near Seattle. Several are injured, no one’s dead. The message includes a picture. Sprayed on the backwall of the company building is a demand for Adam to hand me over so my fate can be judged.
I’m a pawn but this pack was at risk long before I arrived. Isaac explained that Ben eliminates the alpha and assumes control of the pack. He’s wanted this pack for decades but the last time he fought for control, left him licking his wounds. I’m a liability to Adam and one day he might have to choose between the pack’s safety and my own.
"I told you this would happen," Susan yells following Adam around the room.
His expression is menacing. He aggressively pulls me against him. I let him, hoping it takes some of his tension away. Susan’s glare is like knives specifically targeting me. It’s the same hatred she showed when I was a captive in her care.
"We should have let her die," Susan snaps, stomping back towards the kitchen.
"What did you say?”
There was never a doubt in my mind that Susan wanted me dead. To say those words aloud and to Adam is bolder than I predicted. At least I wasn’t making it all up.
"You heard me. You knew the consequences if any of the packs found the white wolf. We have many enemies since your father died, this," she spits towards me, "Is only going to make things harder for us."
Adam's hand reaches out as he points to his mother. His expression intensifies as I take another step away from him. Adam always backs down to Susan. Seeing this makes me wish I stayed upstairs.
"That is wrong," He says waiting for his mother to back down. Surprisingly, she holds his gaze, “Ben’s fight is with me and you know it.”
Susan smiles and laughs. I take another step back as Adam’s temper verges on boiling.
“Everything will be about her. I lived through the pack wars,” Susan slowly declares, “You are putting all of us in danger by protecting her.”
Adam doesn’t have a response. Susan’s hands brace the counter as she emits a low growl. He grabs my hand, yanking me out the door. My arm pops, the force stronger than Adam expected as I race to keep up with his quick steps. He slows, at least he didn’t rip my arm from the socket.
Some days I wish I leapt from the window and fled the lodge on my last night to run away. Other times I wished I had turned back after hitting road construction and never laid eyes on the town of Lakeview.
"I can't believe her," Adam yells, hitting the steering wheel as part of it dents, "I'm sorry.”
Opening my mouth seems like the wrong choice as I keep it shut. He vents the entire way to Johnnie’s house. Without waiting for the car to come to a complete stop, I jump. The engine’s still running as I head to the back of the house in an attempt to get away from Adam.
Johnnie’s set up a new structure. I lift the flap, finding a spot in the corner. My body trembles but Johnnie ignores me while pouring water over amber colored rocks. The flap closes, enveloping us in darkness.
"We have," Adam starts, yanking open the flap.
Johnnie keeps his eyes closed, raising a finger before putting it back in his lap. Sighing, Adam ducks into the structure, shutting out the light. The silence is relaxing after Adam’s angry tirade.
Through the darkness, Johnnie’s deep breathing fills the tiny space. It’s methodical, listening to him inhale the warmth and periodically pouring water onto the glowing rocks. The heat burns my nose and dries my throat. Mimicking Johnnie’s breathing, every part of me calms. Johnnie chants.
Adam shuffles in the darkness. His movements louder than Johnnie’s voice. Eventually he relaxes or, at the very least, stops moving.
"It’s begun," Johnnie says rousing me from my half-dehydrated and half-meditative state.
"You know?”
My eyes dart back and forth but the blackout room makes it impossible to see anything.
"I have my ways of knowing," Johnnie coyly responds.
The flap opens. The bright light nearly blinding me as I crawl out. The breeze raises goosebumps on my skin. The fresh air scratches my parched throat. I feel more alive than I have in years and half dead.
"We need to call a council. We should have called a council as soon as Addie shifted," Johnnie states filling a small bowl and offering it to me.
Gulping the water, I let part of it drip down my face before using the back of my hand to wipe it away. Johnnie sips his bowl, eyes narrowing at Adam.
"Susan said it was best if we didn't call a council," Adam replies for the first time calling her by name.
"Now you know why," Johnnie casual mentions with a downturned gaze.
I have no idea how Johnnie gets his information, but he is the first to know everything. Adam nods, his hard eyes glaze over as he watches his own ancient memory. For the first time in a long time, I’m left guessing his thoughts.
Adam turns to Johnnie, "I will make sure Addie stays safe. You know what needs to be done."
Adam vigorously nods several small times before his hand cups my chin. The force of the kiss nearly knocks me off my feet, "Nothing will happen to you, I give you my word," Adam declares before eyeing Johnnie and racing to his car.
I wish he hadn't given his word. This situation is unfolding in a predictable way. Someone is bound to die and I really want to keep my New Year’s resolution.
"What is a council?”
Johnnie chuckles, slowly pouring water over the glowing rocks, "There have been many wars amongst the wolves after the split. Packs formed alliances to avoid conflicts. Our pack is one of the largest and we have helped our friends many times over the years. The ability to safeguard others makes us a target to our enemies. By calling a council, we are asking our friends to come to our aid.”
That seems simple enough, "Will they come?"
Johnnie shakes his head, the edges of his mouth curling down, "Some packs are so small that they will not raise a hand. Others will refuse the call.”
A lump forms in my throat. This is turning into a war and even though everyone says otherwise, it’s because of me.
"When will Adam be back?”
Johnnie tries to look sincere as he shrugs, "It could be weeks, months perhaps."
Weeks or months? I shouldn’t feel so dependent but I don’t know if I can go months without Adam. My thoughts show my own shallowness. I want him here with me, compared to doing what’s best for his pack.
Johnnie’s dark eyes hold my gaze. There’s something under the surface. Something that he isn’t saying.
With a deep sigh, I walk barefoot through the woods. Each snap or crunch has me on edge. I continuously scan, expecting to find enemies.
The shirt sticks to my skin before I finally peel it off. My embarrassment of being naked is starting to fade, especially in the empty woods.
Climbing the stairs to the house, Sarah’s too mesmerized with her concoctions to notice me. A shirt rests on the back of the chair and as I pull it over my head, the smell of Isaac engulfs my senses. Breathing deeply, I let the aroma flood my nose.
"Where’s Adam," Sarah asks her large eyes glancing around the empty room.
"He went to call the council," I calmly answer waiting for her response to gage the seriousness of the situation.
"Oh god," Sarah replies, dropping her wooden spoon before her heart races.
My heart nearly crawls to a stop. Scooping down, she grabs the spoon, dropping it twice more before tossing it across the counter. Hands on hips, she breathes deeply, calming her racing heart.
"When was the last council called?"
"Well, let me think," Sarah begins as her shaky arms pull her onto the counter, "We haven’t called a council since Adam’s father died. It’s been at least forty years."
An uneasy silence fills the room as Sarah’s concoction burns. Her trembling hands pull the pot from the fire before turning the knob.
Quietly gnawing on the inside of my lip, I try to make sense of the situation. Sarah usually fills the silence with chatter. She can’t help herself. My lungs struggle to expand as the pressure builds in the room.
“We should have stopped Ben long before this,” Sarah’s tiny voice trembles, “One of the packs should have called a council decades ago but we’ve let Ben act out hoping that he would grow bored. We should have done more than watch.”
“What will happen to Ben if a council is called?”
"I don't know,” Sarah replies sucking in a lung full of air, “Ben isn’t easy to catch.”
“Is he really that dangerous?”
Sarah spins on her heels. Arms cross her chest as her large eyes pierce me, “Ben is evil. He is very dangerous and he’s only gotten worse."
Blinking, Sarah tries to paste on a smile but the fear makes it difficult. She quietly returns to her lotions. Pans bang and clatter as she avoids my gaze.
“Come to the shop with me,” Sarah commands her eyes full of fear and silent pleads.
I’m soaked in sweat but agree. Sarah hasn’t forgiven herself for my unfortunate attack at the lodge. After our conversation, there’s little doubt she’ll let me out of her sight.
Town might be a better option if my safety is the goal. Sarah is feisty but we don’t stand a chance if we’re attacked at my house.
Behind the counter, the cool lotion caresses my skin. It’s my compensation for coming to the store and Sarah’s gift for crinkling her nose during the drive over. There’s little doubt that my wonderful musk smelled up her pretty shop until I used her shower.
While counting the drawer, my life at the coffee shop flashes before my eyes. The simple vanilla life that I hated so much makes me flush. It was vanilla but it made more sense than anything that’s happened this year.
Shaking the thoughts from my overworked mind, I turn to Sarah, hoping to find a distraction, “I haven’t heard you mention Sam in a while.”
Between the shelves, Sarah’s eyes grow before lowering and hiding behind the lotions, “There isn’t much to tell,” She says and I can smell the lie, “I’m not interested in him anymore.”
All I do is watch while leaning on the counter. Her fumbling hands show her discomfort.
"Is there someone else?”
Sarah half finishes stocking the shelf before pulling the box to the back of the store. With a small box in her hands, she emerges, “Yes.”
"Who?"
"Someone from the pack," Sarah cryptically answers while keeping her back to me.
Brows furrow, my mind races through all the men in the pack. There isn’t anyone that stands out.
"I think he might like me too," She comments turning as all the products cascade from the shelf and bounce across the floor.
With averted eyes, Sarah finally turns, “You can’t be serious?”
Her new option is almost on the same level as her last infatuation. Investing in Tim is one of the worst moves she can make. Sarah has a type and it’s the wrong type.
"I know,” Sarah replies stopping me from spouting out every reason why it’s a bad idea, “He’s been helping me around the store and I can’t help how I feel.”
Gaping, my mouth finally snaps shut. Glancing out the window, I try to control my thoughts before saying something harsh. A smile breaks on my lips before laughter creeps up my throat. Before long, I’m nearly in tears.
It’s comical until I remember all the things that Tim does for Sarah. He helps her make lotions. Whatever she needs, he runs to help. His actions are completely different than they have been in the past. He’s never done anything for another girl. The laughter stops as Sarah blinks away her tears.
“He listens to me. I think I’ve even talked him out of some of his crazy ideas about wolves and pack life.”
It takes everything I have not to shake my head in disbelief. Even with how clueless I’ve been, I have to admit that there is something there. I can feel it twisting around both of them.
“I’m sorry,” I quietly say, trying to sound remorseful, “I’m just use to Tim’s wild side.”
From now on, I have to stop asking personal questions unless I really want an answer. It’s going to take everything I have not to harm Tim if he messes this up.
#
Johnnie is my only salvation while Adam is gone. The house is overcrowded by the constant stream of pack members.
While others want to stick me on a pedestal or behind glass, he makes me feel normal. Johnnie is the only person from the pack who remembers life during the era of the white wolf. I’m not a phenomenon to him as I am to every other wolf.
Johnnie fills our hikes with stories from the past and the land. If I am ever stranded in any forest, I know enough to stay well fed and sheltered for years. It’s a distraction but one that I heavily encourage.
“How’s Tim,” Johnnie questions as we check his snares.
I shrug, he’s been spending a lot of time with Sarah. He’s even curtailed his crazy nightlife. I can’t tell if that’s because of the new curfew in town or to spend time with Sarah.
“Sarah has a way with people,” Johnnie adds already knowing the gossip in the pack, “He is a very headstrong youth who believes he is always right.”
If I had one phrase to describe my brother that would be it, “He’ll still try to attack Adam.”
Johnnie grunts, his eyes focused on the snare, “He will learn his position one way or another. Tim is not a leader.”
It takes all my will power not to say something. Tim likes to be in control. People always gravitate to his personality and his ideas even if it leads them down a slippery slope. I think it’s only a matter of time before he tries to flex more control in the pack.
“It’s getting late,” Johnnie says staring between the leaves to track the sun.
The walk back is nice. I should switch forms and race home but I relish the alone time. Wolves run the paths, careful to keep their distance. I’ll never really be alone, not when a murderous sociopath is bent on my death.
Tim and Sarah cozy on the couch. It’s still strange as I remind myself that I’ll personally choke him if he hurts Sarah. Leaving them to their date night, I climb the old stairs.
Lately, I’m always exhausted. After changing, I climb into bed, watching the moon shine through the locked window until I can no longer keep my eyes open.
Feeling the hard form, my arms reach around before I breathe in deeply, enjoying the scent, "Adam," I yell, my eyes snap open.
How did he manage to sneak in without me knowing? I’ve missed him too much to care. His arms hold me tight.
Nuzzled together, I let him play with my hand while cocooning ourselves within the blankets, “How did it go?”
Pressing his lips to the top of my head, I feel his warm breath with each exhale, “The council wasn’t happy that we didn’t officially announce you. I was wrong to hide you from them.”
"That’s it. There won’t a war," I ask stumbling over my words.
"No, this is my fight. Ben wants this pack.”
He seems so content that I hate bringing anything up. It’s not the time to give him more worries.
“Would you mind meeting the council?”
“No, not at all,” I answer before thinking.
This means meeting leaders who believe I will eventually take their position. My nerves barely handled the board meetings with Adam. This is going to be a failure with a group of very ancient individuals.
“The council’s gathering at the lodge,” Adam continues, “Johnnie will direct your responses.”
“Johnnie?”
Johnnie advises everyone in the pack. Adam might be a bit biased because of our relationship.
Adam’s scan my face, “You’re bonded with Johnnie.”
It’s taken three hundred years for Johnnie to bond with someone and it’s the white wolf. It doesn’t surprise me. Adam stares. His mouth twitches, ready to rebuttal any response.
“You don’t seem surprised,” Adam cautiously continues, edging back.
“I’m not.”
There’s not much of a response to give. The tether in my core feels better around Johnnie. I’ve known for a while even though no one thought to clue me in.
Adam chuckles before kissing the top of my head, "Johnnie's opinion will be important to you in the future.”
His hand remains tangled in my hair as I try to nod. If I chose Susan, I’d seriously need re-evaluate my life choices. Johnnie is pure. His intentions are always good. Even with his help, I don’t think I can make it through the upcoming meeting.
"Is there any chance this meeting could, I don't know, spiral out of control?”
"Everyone will be professional," Adam sternly explains, “Every pack understands the importance of calling a council. We know what’s at stake if Ben wins.”