The sheets fly as I fall from the bed. My eyes snap open trying to take in the dark room as I blink in reality. I can’t shake the feeling that the dream was real.
"What is it," Adam asks creaking his way over the mattress as he helps me back onto the bed.
"Nothing.”
There really is no such thing as hiding the truth from someone who can smell lies.
"Was it a dream?”
"It was nothing," I lie again as I readjust the sheets before laying back down.
I never remember dreams but this one won’t go away. Johnnie advises me to marry Adam and seal an alliance before two wolves nearly kill me.
I still taste blood, but if I was attacked, where are the wounds? I nearly died and there isn't a single scratch. The dream has a life of its own as it torments me in the land of the living.
"You can talk to me," Adam states edging closer before propping his head on his arm.
"I never remember my dreams," I retort, rolling away from him.
“You remember this one," Adam continues, "Johnnie believes the past and future can be seen in dreams. If you won't talk to me, you should at least talk to Johnnie.”
"Fine, I'll tell you part of it," I grumble facing him, “It felt very real and very scary. I was almost killed.”
"Keep going."
I want to ask him about Johnnie’s advice, but the words won’t come out. I’m not going to make a fool out of myself like every other girl in town. That part needs to remain a secret, from everyone.
It doesn't seem random. Everyone’s brought up how the white wolf leads, even Adam’s mentioned upcoming test. No one wants Adam to step down. A deal between us would make the pack happy, everyone except Susan.
“What would happen if I wanted to take the pack from you?”
"Wait, what? Is this part of the dream too," He asks confused by the apparent change in conversation.
Adam sits up with the most confused expression. He’s trying to tie together the dream and my random thoughts but it doesn't seem to be working. He has to know the rumors swirling better than I do so this shouldn’t be too much of a shock.
"Do you want to lead," Adam asks his tone serious.
"No. I don't want it," I honestly answer, "What would it take to rule?"
"You'd have to beat me," Adam answers, his face growing dark before grabbing and pulling me further on the bed. The entire time I laugh while squirming to get away, "I don’t think you have what it takes."
I push against him as we roll. My hips settle against his as I mount him. He lets me pin his hands above his head as I bend closer to keep him held down, "Would I really have to fight you?"
He smiles, all traces of darkness gone, "If you want control of the pack, you need to fight me for the position."
"In the dream I held my own against two wolves. I could be a threat. In the dream world, I might win."
In a flash, Adam’s wrists envelope both my hands. I’m at his mercy and he knows it. He pulls them as I inch closer. His legs move, slowly spreading mine further. Each movement brings me flatter until my body nearly covers his own. Adam’s deliberately trying to get a reaction and all I’m thinking about is the thin material separating our bodies.
"Can it be at a board game or even a card game," I ask realizing that there is no way to win a strength contest against him. I doubt I would win a contest of wits against him either.
Adam laughs, "We would have to ask Johnnie about that," as I roll off from him, he frees my wrists, "I don't think you are the one to fight for control. Tim might try but there are things both of you need to learn before either of you attempt to take the pack from me."
"Oh, I know he’ll attack you."
Adam shakes his head as a smile unfolds on his lips, "What else did you dream about?"
"That was pretty much it," I reply realizing that the dream ends with me dying, “The rest is too jumbled to explain."
"Fair enough but you should share your dream with Johnnie. It’s what we do."
"Fine, I’ll go in the morning," I reply rolling over and pulling all the sheets along with me.
I’m still not sure I want to share the dream. My subconscious mind just smashed everything that’s come up lately into a very realistic nightmare.
"Good," Adam states climbing out of bed, "You know its morning, right?"
My head drops slightly as my eyes tighten shut. I would have thought of a better lie if I knew the time.
"I'll walk you there," He says grabbing my leg and literally yanking me out of bed.
With a bruise forming on my butt, I consider telling Adam it’s time for him to sleep in his own bed. Adam is faithful to his word, even when I procrastinate in every morning task. I run out of things to do in the bathroom and start counting the tiles. That is how much I’m not looking forward to seeing Johnnie.
Why do I have to tell him anything? It isn't like it’s anyone’s business. But why am I so scared to tell him about my dream? That might be the important question.
As we head to the kitchen, Isaac and Tim are already eating breakfast. The two are becoming inseparable.
"What's up," Tim asks glancing up from his breakfast.
"Hey," I answer trying to find the slowest thing to prepare.
Adam and Isaac exchange a look before Isaac puts down his fork, "You need to tell Johnnie your dream. There are meanings in dreams."
I’ll never be prepared for the lack of privacy. No one can do anything without someone listening.
Adam joins me at the stove. He needs to get to work but isn’t concerned with how late I’m making him. After getting in the way and successfully slow things down, I’m banished to the kitchen table.
"What's going on," Tim asks completely oblivious to everything.
"Nothing," I answer scanning the paper.
By the time I look up, the mood ices over. Tim tries to assert his dominance, while Adam ignores the threat.
"What," Tim gruffly asks as the chair screams against the floor before he barrels over to the stove.
Adam watches, his eyes darkening. Isaac shakes his head, waiting to see the situation unfold. These interactions are too common. It’s embarrassing but there’s nothing I can do to stop Tim.
"What are you doing," I ask wondering what’s gotten into my brother.
"Stay out of it," Tim yells inching closer to Adam.
Tim’s always been in the middle of each fight in our town. I’ve never seen Adam fight but I’m sure Tim will leave licking his wounds and his bruised ego.
"You should go for a walk," Adam quietly and slowly says as he refuses to take a step back.
"Tim," Isaac growls as I jump. Tim snaps out of it as he turns and walks from the room. Isaac places his hand on mine, "This is normal," He says, kisses my hand and follows after my brother.
"What just happened?"
I’m curious why men call women crazy.
"He's a white wolf.”
Adam brings the plates to the table.
"I need more."
Adam sits, studying me, "Do I get to hear more about the dream?" My hostile expression answers his question, "He wants to be the dominant male. He’s young and has an alpha personality. With everything he’s learned, he feels it’s his right to lead.”
"Did he hear us upstairs," I ask and Adam nods.
Eventually the three of us will figure out who is the bigger wolf. I really can't see it going well for any of us or the pack. My baby brother needs to learn that he is just that, a baby surrounded by much older and wiser individuals.
Adam walks me to Johnnie’s. As soon as he is sure I’m not a flight risk, he leaves for work.
We walk the woods, letting the noise of the forest wrap around us as we remain speechless. Johnnie stops at random trees or bushes and checks the buds. It’s nice being surrounded by silence and the calm that Johnnie naturally gives off.
"You seem agitated this morning," Johnnie finally declares after plucking a few leaves from a tree.
"Not more than usual," I answer.
"How are your dreams?"
How does he know?
"I know everything," Johnnie answers my unstated question with a wink, "Do you want to talk about it?"
His knowledge shakes me to the core and I believe he already knows the details. This reserved man knows more than he lets on.
"Are you worried about the future of the dream," Johnnie comments as he continues to walk, "I’ve seen seers predict futures down to the smallest detail.”
"Did they see anything about white sibling," I ask unable to stop myself from asking.
Johnnie turns, "Yes," Before continuing down a steep path.
"What did they see?"
"A white brother and sister who could change destiny," Johnny flatly answers.
“Really,” I ask following so close that I trip on a root.
“No,” Johnnie answers helping me stand, “There is no pre-ordained destiny for you or your brother. You can do great things or nothing at all. It is your choice and your choice alone.”
At least that’s a relief. It’s just a dream. I shouldn’t have to remind myself that I don’t have the ability to see the future.
"Do you think Tim and I will bring peace amongst the packs," I ask thinking of the swirling rumors.
"I can't say," Johnnie answers enjoying this conversation, "I miss the past my mind remembers, with a strong pack and the white wolves protecting everyone. But it is true that when I look back, I see the details I want to remember. They are only half of the whole story. You can take power from important individuals or you can be aimless like other white wolves. The future isn’t written."
"Do you think Susan hates me," I ask wondering what it will be like if I usurp her power.
"Hate is a very strong word," Johnnie grunts before stopping to face me, "What she has goes beyond hate." He continues walking as I chase after him, "She has had years of controlling this pack, first through her husband and now through Adam. Nothing short of an uprising will be able to get her to give up that power.”
"What if I don't want the power," I ask knowing that I would rather just sit in the corner and let her wield her iron fist until she finally dies.
“It isn’t the power that you seek," Johnnie mulls over the idea, "The white line breeds natural leaders and even without trying, most lead in some way. One day, you will rise against her. She knows it, I know it, the pack knows it," Johnnie pauses, "But you don't know it."
"Would she try to use Adam to keep her position?"
"In what way," Johnnie asks, leaning against a tree as he works something from the ground between his fingers.
"Ummm, through Adam," I answer only for him to urge me to continue, "Would anyone try to make us end up together so that he can keep the power of the pack?”
Johnnie intently stares. He must know the rumors. Adam spending his nights with me increases the gossip.
“Susan will never encourage anything that will give you a position to rival her own. I have known Adam since he was a baby. He would never let anyone dictate that decision or pack control.”
"Why not?”
"Adam knows what is right for the pack and he will give up his position, without any type of fight, to the right person," Johnnie answers but as he turns away, there’s something in his eyes suggesting he knows more.
“What if I choose him,” I ask wanting to know more about the strange custom.
Johnnie continues walking before finally breaking down and telling me more about choosing another wolf, "Many have never lived through it and fantasize the concept. They believe it’s something akin to mating described in books and movies. Every white wolf in our history has chosen someone to advise. It isn’t a romantic notion but one necessary for leading. The bond makes it nearly impossible to be selfish as your thoughts and desires become one. Adam, like all the elders, understands that you will be heavily influenced by one individual. You have bonded and when it is time, they will guide you on the best course.”
"Wouldn't I know that I bonded with someone," I ask feeling the tether continue to growth and strengthen.
Johnnie grunts, "You should have known you were a wolf."
#
The stillness allows me to hear for miles. Soft branches swaying in the gentle breeze. Tires grip the wetness of the street. Hearts beat in the chest of those closest to me. For once in my life, everything feels complete.
Sarah and Isaac race towards me, Adam’s close behind. He’s always at the back of every run, unless it’s just the two of us. I don’t know how I can outpace all of them as I continue to pace.
While I wait, one smell becomes prominent. Tim joins me on the path. His emotions are twisted.
Adam walks closer before Tim pushes him slightly off the path. Tim’s move is a sign of defiance. We wait to see if he shrugs it off like he does most pups. His dark eyes follow Tim, waiting for what I can only assume is another attack.
If my life wasn’t precariously hanging by a wire, Tim should have waited before transitioning. All of us get to suffer from his ego as we wait for him to grow up.
He keeps mentioning our place in the pack. Our place is at the bottom. We’ve been wolves less than a year. We know nothing.
Tim snaps at Adam. After learning what it means, I can’t believe Adam let me do it to him without any repercussions. I chalk it up to being an uneducated child and his high level of patience.
Even without speech, I might be able to get Tim to back off if I can get a little closer. Isaac moves with me, guiding us away from Tim and Adam.
All I can do is whine and wait for the inevitable. Tim needs to learn a lesson but I don't want to witness it. A low growl emits from deep within as his hair stands on end.
Isaac continues to circle, judging the fight and making sure it doesn’t get too dangerous.
Sarah blocks my path to Tim. This must seem normal. Children practice their fighting all the time but I don’t like it.
Tim attacks. Adam twists and nips as Tim yelps. He backs off. Tim circles again, looking for another opportunity to pounce. He’s too young to know what to do.
Tim growls and snaps as Adam remains quiet. He could end this with one move but he’s taking his time. It might be best; Tim doesn’t learn anything quick.
Tim falls back, his breathing forced. Adam isn’t tired as he remains at his full height. Tim attacks. Adam pins him to the floor. A deep and menacing growl escapes Adam as Tim cowers. Pulling back, Tim races into the woods with Sarah chasing after him.
Adam turns towards me. I’m sure there’s more communication going on but I don’t see it. My embarrassment is too great as my head droops with each step he takes. Looking at him is impossible right now.
I’m mere inches from the ground. Should I look up or cower? Do I roll over and expose my belly like the wolves in movies?
Adam rubs his head under mine, pulling me from the floor. He continues to rub his head against my head and neck. I return the gesture hoping that I’m apologizing for Tim’s actions.
After he finishes, Isaac doesn’t move. There’s a hidden message but, like normal, I don’t understand. He turns and follows after Sarah and Tim.
Adam and I walk the main street. It used to frighten me when wolves crossed the road. Now it’s amusing. Everyone knows Adam. His large size is a rarity in this pack. Some turn to watch but most go about their business.
I follow, not knowing where we’re going until he turns down a path to his home. Adam hasn’t invited me back since I randomly showed up at his door. I’m glad I can’t ruin this moment with words.
After changing, I sit on the oversized sofa. My goal is to blend into the background in the hopes that Adam won’t ask me to leave. The sun is still up and our time together usually starts after the sun goes down. I don’t want to be an inconvenience but I don’t want to go.
“Why did you bow down to me,” Adam asks sitting on the coffee table in front of me.
My gaze shifts from him to my hands. He scared me. Tim embarrassed me. Those reasons aren’t easy to say aloud.
Adam cups my face. His calloused hands softly scrap against my skin. I have no choice as I’m forced to look at him.
“Never bow to anyone.”
“Wolves bow to you all the time,” I retort.
Out of respect, other wolves lower their heads. In human form it’s a slight nod.
“I don’t want you to bow. Not to anyone, especially not me,” Adam continues his hand gliding through my hair before grabbing a chunk in one of his large hands, “Do you understand.”
No, “Yes,” but really no.
He holds the hair. It’s starting to hurt. This must be more non-verbal communication but as a human or a wolf, I don’t get it.
His hand slides out of my hair as he heads to the kitchen. I follow his movements as he grabs something for lunch. I can’t believe how excited I am knowing that he’s letting me into his personal world.
“You and Tim are going to get into it again, aren’t you?”
Adam focuses on the food, "Tim needs to understand that this is a different world from where he was raised. Even though he is a white wolf, he has no more authority than anyone else in the pack. He’ll end up hurt if he keeps trying to attack pack members."
Adam’s phone goes off. His eyes dart back and forth as he reads the text before his expression darkens.
I take my chance by walking to the kitchen and standing on the other side of the island. My curiosity might get me kicked out of the townhouse if I’m not careful.
“Is everything ok?”
Adam looks at his phone before putting it down, “We’re having problems with our Seattle office.”
It’s been months since I’ve done anything remotely related to work. I need to go back. Now that I feel normal, I shouldn’t rely on the pack to provide for my well-being.
“With Ben,” I ask remembering one of our weekly meetings and the poor output of the Seattle office, “It’s hard to forget how weird you were being in that meeting.”
Adam pulls the tray out of the oven, sliding it onto the counter between us, “I lied back then, and I think you should know the truth. Ben isn’t in competition with the company but with the pack. He’s been trying to unite every pack for years and it’s been unsuccessful.”
“Why?”
The plates scratch against each other.
“He leads through fear and his methods of keeping control are barbaric. Members maintain our presence in Seattle to keep a close eye on him and his pack. He’s dangerous and he finally learned about you.”
His strained expression proves this isn’t a light matter.
“He’s planning something. I don’t know what and that concerns me,” Adam replies grabbing both plates and heading to the living room.
Do I ask more questions or leave it for now? I want to know more but Adam is notorious for putting up walls and I haven’t been able to crack through any of them.
“How are you tired,” Adam questions watching me nod off after lunch.
“It was a long run,” I reply with a shrug.
“Come here,” He commands as I climb across the couch and into his waiting arms.
Sometimes it surprises me that he’s still single. The competition must really hate that I steal him every night.
“You sleep so much.”
“It’s best to get nine hours of sleep a night,” I reply, knowing that I usually push ten.
“That’s too much sleep.”
“I tend to sleep more when I’m bored. Maybe it’s time I return to work,” I comment before he gulps.
“Not yet. We can revisit this topic in a few months and only after Johnnie clears you to go back to work.”