Twenty three

"Only you could see that I was hurting. Only you ever cared to understand."

–Calum Scott-

***

My ears immediately rang when I heard the man's voice again. I reflexively threw the cell phone until it hit the floor, then pulled the blanket to cover my head. Just once I found out who the owner of that voice was, my whole body immediately started shaking violently. Unfortunately, I felt like this room suddenly felt stuffy and dark, and the air around me was getting thinner. The pupils felt like they were sticking out when, without realizing it, both hands were wrapped around my neck due to the tightness squeezing my chest.

I tried to call anyone who could pull me out of this panic. Unfortunately, the owner of the voice filled my head simultaneously as the image of his face became more straightforward and transparent. My body reacted more and more until sweat drenched me. Another side of me rebelled, forcing me to come out of the darkness when pieces of the past suddenly appeared.

"Argh!!!!!!"

The smile of the treacherous man who came from nowhere is now waving. How could he find me here? How could he know my cell phone number? How could he...

The next second, a hand forced the blanket aside. Immediately, I screamed, embracing myself so as not to be touched like before. The busy voice calling my name sounded like a wild call to satisfy a hidden desire. My tears have flowed into rivers; I don't want to be enslaved like before. If given a choice, it would be better for him to stab my heart with a knife than to abuse this imperfect girl.

"Hey, Ms. Khan!"

The man pulled my body and grabbed my shoulders tightly, making me scream hysterically. He shook again, called my name, and told me to look at him.

"Ms. Khan! It's me! It's me, Andre! Mr. Jhonson!" he exclaimed.

Dare to open my eyes, the blurry figure that soon became clear looked at me anxiously. I was silent for some reason, and the sound echoed in my ears. Honestly, both eyes can only see the expression on his lips. There were whispers my stepfather couldn't stop.

"I miss your luscious body, my Lizzie. Is it still like it was before?"

"Hey, he's not here, Ms. Khan." Andre looked at me closely. "Do you trust me?"

It took a long time for my subconscious to realize that it was just my hallucination. Then, I glanced to the left, and my cell phone was still there, lying helpless with the screen slightly broken. That means... the phone call just now wasn't imagination or a dream. He's honest... the man came for some reason.

"I'm sick, Andre," I said softly, pushing away his hand, which was still gripping my shoulder, then hugged both knees to hide my fear from this man's face. "I'm suffering. You..."

Looking at him was full of tears when my tongue couldn't form any more words. Then, observe both palms. Wet and shaking. The feeling left by my stepfather remains even though I only hear his voice.

"Shhh... I know what you feel." Andre sat on the edge of the bed and wanted to touch his shoulder but didn't. "We can discuss it later when you're calm, Ms. Khan. Later, you will move to the VVIP room to protect yourself from your nightmares. OK?"

"You don't know how I feel, Mr. Johnson," I cooed.

“S-sorry… I…”

"You don't know what I've been feeling all this time! And you pretend you can feel what I'm suffering, huh!" I screamed, staring straight at him. "You're evil, you only pretend to care, you... you... I'm sick! My soul hurts, Mr. Johnson! You don't know what I feel!"

In the next second, Andre grabbed my lips, silencing all the words screaming at him and paralyzing all panic with a gentle caress, signaling that what he was doing was not a setup. Part of me accepted Andre's sweet treatment, but the other part tried to make myself aware that not all fights have to end with a hot kiss.

Automatically, my hand pushed against his broad chest, slapping his firm face until my hand felt hot. He froze, not wavering when this hand continued to hit Andre. Then, I slapped my cheek so I wouldn't carelessly accept a kiss from a strange man who could only touch him without permission.

Am I that slut, God?

"Stop it, Ms. Khan!" Andre shouted, holding my hand. "Will hurting yourself make you feel better?"

"I'm sick..."

"I know... therefore, try to believe me, Ms. Khan. Okay?"

"You will hurt me like before; there is no man I can trust... I... I..."

"If you don't trust me, then I will build trust for you," he interrupted with confidence.

###

It's not Andre if his words don't match the evidence. At least this time. He moved me to the VVIP room by having two stocky men guard the front. Instead of being like a patient, he's a prisoner who is forbidden to leave an inch. However, Andre said he did this so I could rest comfortably and not worry about treatment costs.

“This is expensive,” I complained to him. "I just need to get some regular treatment, not major surgery. You don't need to waste too much money."

"Consider it special treatment," replied Andre, rolling his eyes.

"Making the gossip more than just gossip, Mr. Johnson."

"At least I'm single; you should know that. You're single, I'm single, isn't that fitting?"

Am I rolling my eyes and thinking how a super-rich man like him could still be single? Moreover, a handsome face that always attracts attention is a target for women. The proof is that Andre's employees stare sarcastically every time I pass by or walk together. I need Emilia to do the work of a stalker to find out the truth of her status.

Andre invites him to play Ludo on his cell phone in a large room with glass walls offering Manhattan views. We played two players, mine being red and blue while Andre's being yellow and green.

At this time, I had put two red pawns back into their house but not the blue pawns because Andre had repeatedly sent my pawns home, even though I had managed to get them out again. Meanwhile, he was far superior, and I never thought that this man who liked to get angry was so good.

"Don't eat me... don't eat me..." I softly saw Andre's green pawns step one by one past the white box, approaching the position of my pawn, which was almost close to the finish line. "Fuck!" I cursed harshly when the damn green pawn sent my pawn back to the cage.

Andre laughed out loud while holding his stomach. "You also sent my pawn back," he said as he pressed the dice for the yellow pawn. The dice show the number 3, and Andre runs his unopposed pawn. How sneaky.

"But don't send my pawn back home, Andre," I grumbled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

I shook my head while pressing the dice to spin, and then the dice showed the number 6. I smiled and pushed the red pawn while calculating Andre's yellow pawn.

"Oh shit!" the man cursed when I managed to reply.

"I had no appetite."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh... come on. If we were in the same house, I guarantee all the food would go into your mouth."

I tilted my head to think for a moment. "How to?"

He smiled crookedly and quickly landed his lips right on mine without warning. Damn!

"More or less like that," he said casually.

I, who was still hypnotized by his actions, could only stare at the outline of that face. My eyes were focused on the curve of the thin line of lips that always greeted me without permission—blinking his eyes to regain consciousness when a knock was heard behind the door. A few moments later, a blonde-haired girl carrying a large bag and a pizza box appeared.

"Em!" I exclaimed, making Andre turn his head. Immediately, Emy's expression changed slightly, as if to show she didn't like the man in front of me.

"I brought you pizza with extra cheese and meat," Emy said as she put down her bag and brought the pizza box in front of me.

Without asking too many questions, I opened the box and immediately filled the room with the aroma of mozzarella cheese mixed with pepperoni. My right hand ate a slice of this typical Italian bread with gusto. Ah, indeed, pizza is the helper of all helpers. My mood immediately rose when the slices of paprika and cheese touched my tongue.

"I heard you didn't have an appetite," said Andre irritably.

"I've come. Can you go home because it's late, sir?" Emilia quipped in a cold tone.

Andre was silent, narrowing his eyes as if shooting a reddish laser at Emilia. Then he got up from his seat and looked at me with a smile as bright as a rainbow. "I'll go home first," said the man, kissing my forehead without permission, making me almost spit out the pizza. "Good night."

The man left, leaving a lingering kiss on the forehead that still caused euphoria in the chest. I don't know if I will be able to accept his treatment like that. He is a man who could leave without a trace, have amnesia for the promises he made, and turn to a woman who is considered more 'normal' than me, who is always sickly. But... he also tried to tear down the walls I had built for decades. Ah, I don't know... I'm sure his attitude will change tomorrow morning. Don't put too much hope in a man who brags about dozens of women.

"Can you slap me, Lizzie?" asked Emy, who kept looking at the door.

I pinched her arm hard enough to make the girl scream in distress axiomatic.

"You told me to, remember?"

"Since when were you and him so close? I remember you crying yesterday because he lied to you and..." Emilia sat next to me, taking a slice of pizza. "You're the girl who hates being touched by men. Earlier, he kissed you as if you were in love behind my back. I must have missed a lot, right?"

"I said he was strange, crazy, and... I couldn't define him. The more I ran, the more he chased, convinced that he was the one who could protect me. Even though..." my words just evaporated, looking sadly at the pizza that was half of it left.

"Even though what?"

I hesitated momentarily, wondering whether it was necessary to tell him, considering we had been friends for a long time. Emilia touched my hand expectantly, waiting for the answer to come out of my mouth.

"He...told me to be careful with you, Em."

Immediately, Emilia's lips fell wide, her clear blue eyes widened, and I heard her curse that Andre had managed to break up our friendship. "He doesn't know anything about me, isn't he too much as a new person?"

"That's right. He's just a new person, so I don't trust him. Like our jargon, perfect men only exist in fiction, not the real world full of lies."

Emilia laughed. "Except Robert Pattinson. In my eyes, he is perfect."