Twenty one
'Please come now, I think I'm falling. I'm holding on to everything I think is safe.'
-Creed-
***
I was opening my eyes slowly when I faintly heard a voice punctuated with curses. When my life was collected after being lulled by a beautiful dream of meeting George, I was amazed that I was in a different place. I opened the blanket to ensure my clothes were intact, including the underwear still there. It took me a few seconds to realize that this soft mattress with a blanket patterned with stars and moons was mine. OK, at least I didn't wake up when I was in the room. The last thing I remember is I was in Andre's car, then drowsiness came, and I fell asleep.
Did he carry me all the way here?
As I got up and yawned widely, I caught the tick of the alarm clock showing one o'clock in the morning. Who else is arguing with the driver at night when people should be asleep? While scratching the back of my neck, I dragged my feet out of the room, hoping they could stop the discussion, which could drain their energy.
Unfortunately, my hand that was about to turn the doorknob was stopped when Andre's voice--I'm sure it was--he said my name repeatedly and was connected to the incident some time ago. I furrowed my brows, pressing my ear to hear his conversation more clearly. Was he arguing with Emilia?
"... I told you I wouldn't open my mouth, Ms. Hall. Why are you so stubborn? Even Elizabeth, I won't tell," said Andre. "Whatever our relationship is with the perpetrator, you are just an outsider who has no right to know."
Is Emilia still trying to find out that information?
"You think I'll just keep quiet while you ignore my friend's mental state?" Emilia sounded cynical. "If you like Elizabeth, should you keep a secret that could be revealed and hurt her heart?"
"Shut up!" Andre exclaimed. "Secrets will remain secrets if you no longer interfere! Can't my money still shut your mouth as a journalist, huh!"
Suddenly, I heard something thrown, which made me shudder instantly. I was about to open the door to curse at Johnson but was stopped again when Emilia replied to the coffee man's taunts.
"Money cannot guarantee the safety of my friend, Mr. Johnson! And I ask you, what is your real motive for approaching Elizabeth? She is just an employee--"
"Your words are complicated; I told you I'm interested in her!" Andre interrupted. "The problem with my change in attitude is that I think I was drunk, okay. Didn't you hear the doctor's explanation at that time? Your friend almost committed suicide, she was depressed and I... I was the one who caused her to be like that, and I also had to be the medicine."
Did Doctor Stephani tell him, too?
"You are the reason she committed suicide because you raped her while she was unconscious; what a hypocrite!"
"I didn't rape her directly, okay. It just made her... um... release something due to the stimulant drug. If you don't believe me, please check to see if she's pregnant."
"What do you think a condom is for?"
"You think I'm that stupid to make love to a drunk woman?"
My patience ran out until I slammed the door, and they stood there glaring at each other. Emilia was stunned beyond belief while Andre rubbed his face like he was in the wrong place to communicate something that shouldn't be debated.
My chest heaved with the emotional turmoil that all this time, I thought Andre was raping me. So why did he have to lie? Why didn't he tell me the truth about what I asked for that night?
"You think it's easy to make me interested in you, Johnson!" I got emotional. "Is it because we spent the night together then, and now it melts me? Think you're drunk? Hah! Yes! You're so drunk that you want to approach a woman who's about to commit suicide, so what!"
Emilia approached, trying to calm the outburst of anger that could explode. Oh, damn! Why is this room so hot and feels cramped?
"You misunderstand, Elizabeth." Andre tried to dodge it. "I--"
"Go!" I said, pointing to the door right behind his back.
"Ms. Khan..." his voice turned soft.
"Go away, I say!"
He was silent momentarily, glanced at Emilia, who was on my left side, and then left us while closing it hard. Instantly, I fell to my knees, crying over the stupidity of his sweet attitude tonight. Oh, damn! Why did I let him into Elizabeth Khan's life? Moreover, we... on the Ferris wheel... even the soft sensation of his lips can still be felt on mine.
"I'm sorry," Emilia softly stroked my back. "I just ..."
Without being able to say anything more, embracing the girl's body in my arms as a thank-you made me realize that no man could be trusted. Even though they are good, they have a secret hidden in sweet talk on their lips.
"Do you trust me?" Andre asked after we kissed.
My tears became more intense; in my heart, I cursed Mr. Johnson and hoped that God could give him karma. Emilia didn't say a word; it just gave me space to vent all the frustration mixed with sadness. It didn't matter if our apartment neighbors heard the cries of a child at night who had just had a nightmare. Yes, nightmares have placed a glimmer of hope in the man I thought could be therapy for myself.
"Hey, Lizzie..." Emilia opened her voice, cupping my face with her slender fingers, locking the eyes of these eyes that had lost hope. "There's still me for you, okay..."
"I think..." I blew my nose and hit my chest with the head of my hand to get the large chunk of stone that was blocking my throat out. Ah, why is it so crowded here? Why does my chest hurt so much, God?
"We are independent women who sometimes don't need a man's presence, Elizabeth," said Emilia firmly. "This is better than ending up falling in love with him--"
"I'm not in love with him!" I screamed. "I just... you know how it is when you start accepting a man who wants to accept you with all this craziness, Emilia. And... he apparently... has his motives that I never understood."
"Not just you, even I don't understand Sam," complained Emilia. "They are the same."
I nodded, wiping away the tears that hadn't dried yet. "Should we watch a horror movie so we don't get upset?"
"Should I order pizza and two bottles of cola?" she offered while laughing.
###
Working time is the time that makes me the most lazy now. I avoided Andre's figure as much as possible to not worsen my lousy mood. Even the three horror films I watched with Emilia yesterday couldn't lift my spirits, even though I had to force a smile when I met Ketty.
"Why look at me like that?" I asked, then found a small box with pink paper in it.
"I saw that the boss's assistant came to put it there," replied Ketty. "What happened between you two?"
"Nothing. Please don't talk about him," I pleaded.
"You mean me?"
That annoying voice finally appeared. He stood there, leaning against the door, folding his arms across his chest with a face of innocence for what he did yesterday. I don't know what business there is that the big boss wants to take the time to come to the employee room.
"I want to talk to you for a moment," he requested.
I wanted to curse harshly, but my energy wasn't filled, and now I had to scavenge for the remaining energy to fight Andre. No need to answer the man in the black suit's invitation, I chose to walk out of the room, throwing a cynical look that seemed disgusted.
In a quiet alley surrounded by glass walls that reflect rays of sunlight and skyscrapers. Wisps of white clouds decorated the sky, which looked different from yesterday. It was as if they supported Andre in continuing to approach the girl he was fooling.
"What else are you going to say," I snapped, folding my arms across my chest.
"I want us to return to how we were before," said the man hopefully.
"We never started, Mr. Johnson, what's there to do again?"
"You and I... I had fun last night--"
"Until you said that you thought your change in attitude was because you were drunk. I thought you were sincere!" I exclaimed, interrupting Andre's sentence and leaving him.
"Lizzie, please!" He held my left arm.
"Can you take your hands off me?" I snapped
"Didn't you like holding my hand yesterday?" The reply made me shut up for a moment. "Let's go on another date."
Has he gone crazy? He's nothing more than a sycophant.
"What's wrong with you? You don't feel like fainting now. I can carry you like yesterday."
He forcibly released his grip on my hand, and then I stepped on my right foot with shiny, expensive shoes and quite hard heels. Andre glared, growling, holding back his screams to avoid making a passage when several people passed. This time, I whispered to him.
"You don't feel like fainting now. I can drag or roll your body with my feet."