The Weight Of His Absence
Chapter 108:
The promise in his tone made her shiver. It wasn’t loud or angry, it was quiet and dangerous. It was the kind that promised destruction if anyone stood in his way.
He stood, glancing once more at the stream where the trail had vanished before turning back toward the town. “We’ll start there,” he said. “Someone must have seen something. If they’ve taken him toward the southern road, they’ll have to pass through the old mill.”
Aria followed, forcing her feet to move even though her legs ached. The trees closed in around them, damp and heavy with mist, the faint rustle of leaves the only sound as they made their way back through the forest. But Lucien didn’t slow down, not once. His stride was relentless, his focus absolute, as if moving faster might somehow pull Kael from wherever he was.
Every now and then, she glanced at him– at the sharp line of his shoulders, the way his hand flexed near his blade, at the tension that was etched into every bunched muscle. And beneath all that fury, was something else.
Guilt. Lucien blamed himself.
And maybe… he was right to.
Kael had gone out to make sure they were safe, that no one had followed them, and now he was gone, leaving only the faint stain of blood in the dirt and the sound of their footsteps chasing a trail that grew colder with every passing minute.
By the time they broke through the trees again, the fog had lifted enough for Aria to see the faint rooftops of the town ahead. Smoke drifted lazily from chimneys, and the distant chatter of the morning market reached them. It was almost strange… how normal life looked while her chest felt like it was caving in on itself.
Lucien stopped at the edge of the road, scanning the horizon, like he was scanning for something: a scent, a sound, anything. “We’ll find him,” he said quietly.
Aria looked at him. “How can you be so sure?”
He turned his head slightly, his eyes glowing faintly gold. “Because you’re still here.”
He turned his head slightly, his eyes glowing faintly gold. “Because you’re still here.”
She frowned, not understanding what he meant. Did he mean, that whoever took Kael would still attack again because she was still here?
The thought didn’t bring her comfort.
They walked through the town, drawing quiet stares. Even in his cloak, Lucien was hard to miss. His presence carried power, quiet but unmistakable. People stepped aside as they passed, some nodding respectfully, others ducking away, their gazes lingering just long enough to be curious.
They reached the old mill near the southern road, its wooden structure leaning slightly from age, the wheel still creaking as the river pushed through. Lucien approached the front, scanning for fresh tracks. Aria followed, her stomach twisting tighter with every step.
“Nothing,” he muttered. He crouched, running a hand through the mud near the wheel. “If they passed through here, they covered it well.”
“Maybe someone saw him,” Aria suggested, glancing toward the houses beyond. “This road feeds into the main path. He wouldn’t just vanish here either.”
Lucien straightened. “Let’s ask around.”
They spent the next hour talking to anyone who might’ve seen something — a merchant hauling crates, a boy herding goats, a woman selling bread by the roadside. Each one shook their head. No one had seen a tall man with a scar by his jaw.
By the time they reached the far edge of the settlement, frustration simmered low in Lucien’s chest. His patience was thin, his tone sharper than usual.
Aria stopped him before he could turn away again. “Lucien.”
He glanced over his shoulder.
She hesitated, before speaking quietly, “What if he didn’t disappear?”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Her throat felt tight, but she forced the words out. “What if he left?”
Lucien’s eyes darkened instantly. “No.”
“Think about it,” she said, her voice rising, shaky but firm. “You saw how he looked at me after the attack, after the rune… He saw what I did, what I became. Maybe he couldn’t handle it. Maybe he just decided to… walk away.”
Lucien turned fully toward her, his jaw set. “You think he deserted? That he left you?”
Aria swallowed hard. “He’s been distant for days. He barely spoke after the fight. Maybe…”
“No,” Lucien cut in, voice low but dangerous. “Kael wouldn’t walk away from you.”
She flinched at the certainty in his tone.
He stepped closer, the faint gold of his eyes catching the light. “I know that man. He’s stubborn, loyal as hell, he doesn’t run. Not from danger. Not from me. And definitely not from you.”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “You didn’t see how he looked at me.”
“I did,” Lucien said quietly. “And I know what it meant.”
“I did,” Lucien said quietly. “And I know what it meant.”
Her brow furrowed. “What it meant?”
Lucien looked away for a moment, his expression unreadable. “He’d rather die protecting you than abandon you. That’s what it meant.”
The words hit harder than she expected. She turned her gaze toward the fog-shrouded road, blinking back the sting in her eyes.
Lucien sighed softly, his voice gentling. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop. This isn’t your fault, Aria.”
But she shook her head. “Everything that’s happened since the night we met has been because of me. The rogues. The Council. The attacks. The rune. And now Kael.”
Lucien reached out, his hand closing around her wrist. His grip was firm, grounding. “He made his own choices. Don’t you dare carry the weight of it.”
Her throat tightened. For a moment, neither of them spoke. The air between them was heavy with everything they didn’t say: fear, guilt, the unbearable burden of not knowing what would happen next.
Then Lucien dropped her wrist and looked back toward the forest. “He’s alive,” he said quietly. “I’d feel it if he wasn’t.”
Aria looked at him, her chest aching. “You’re sure?”
Lucien’s eyes gleamed faintly gold. “I’m sure.”
He turned, scanning the horizon again, the edge in his voice softening into something almost like resolve. “We’ll keep moving south. Whoever took him didn’t do it quietly. Someone along that road saw something, and I’ll make sure they tell us.”
Aria nodded, though her hands were shaking. “Then let’s go.”
They started walking again, leaving the old mill behind. The fog was lifting now, the faint light of morning breaking through the clouds. Yet the world still felt weird, like something had been shifted out of place.
As they reached the road’s bend, Aria glanced back once. The forest loomed behind them, as if it was keeping secrets of its own.
Her chest tightened. Hold on, Kael, she thought. Please just hold on.