Chapter 53 "Holding up"
"Just what? Stand by her? Support her unconditionally? Do you know what unconditional support gets you when you're dealing with someone who's mentally unstable? It gets you years of therapy, medication adjustments, hospital stays, and eventually a complete nervous breakdown." Allison's voice was rising now, control slipping. "I tried that. I gave everything I had to help her father when he was sick. And then I gave everything to help Ember after he died. And you know what it got me? Nothing. Nothing but my own breakdown and a prescription for mood stabilizers."
"Mrs. Winters, please" Kelly tried to interject.
"No." Allison shook her head. "No, you don't get to come at me with your judgment and your accusations. You're her friends? Fine. Great. Where were you when she was committing these crimes? Where were you when she was spiraling? Because from what the detective told me, these murders happened over the span of weeks. Weeks. And none of you noticed anything wrong?"
The words hit Maya like a slap. Because Allison was right. Maya had noticed things the blackouts, the personality changes, the strange behavior. But she'd dismissed them. Made excuses. Told herself Ember was just stressed about school.
"We didn't know," Maya whispered.
"Exactly." Allison's expression softened slightly, but not much. "You didn't know. And neither did I. Because Ember is very good at hiding when something's wrong. She always has been." She took a breath, visibly trying to calm herself. "Look. I'm not trying to be cruel. But I need you all to understand something. Ember made a choice in there. She pleaded guilty. That's on her. And I can't fix it. I can't make it go away. All I can do is make sure she has money in her commissary account and maybe visit once a month if I can manage it."
"That's it?" Maya couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That's all you're going to do?"
"What else do you expect me to do? I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a miracle worker. I'm just a woman who's trying very hard not to have another breakdown because her daughter just confessed to being a murderer."
"She's not a murderer!" Maya was shouting now, she realized. People were definitely staring. "There's something else going on! If you would just listen"
"I'm sure there is." Allison's tone had gone flat again. "I'm sure there's a very interesting story about why my daughter killed three people. But right now? Right now I need to process the fact that my child is going to prison. And I need to do that away from you."
She started to turn away, but Maya grabbed her arm.
"Wait. Please. Just... can you at least tell her we're here? That we're trying to help?"
Allison looked at Maya's hand on her arm, then at Maya's face. For just a moment, something human flickered in her eyes. Pain, maybe. Or exhaustion.
"I'll tell her," she said quietly. Then she pulled her arm free and walked away, her heels clicking against the pavement with sharp, decisive steps.
Maya watched her go, feeling like she'd just been hit by a truck.
"Well," Kelly said after a long moment. "That was... intense."
"She doesn't even care," Maya said numbly. "Her own daughter is going to prison and she doesn't even care."
"I think she cares," Adrian said quietly. "I think she cares a lot. That's why she's acting like that."
Maya turned to look at him. "What?"
"My mom does the same thing when she was alive. When something really scares her or hurts her, she goes cold. Shuts down. It's a defense mechanism." Adrian was still staring at the spot where Allison had disappeared. "She said she had a breakdown. That she's on medication. People with mental health issues sometimes... they protect themselves by going numb."
"That doesn't make it okay," Maya said.
"No. But it makes it understandable." Adrian finally looked at Maya. "What do we do now?"
"I don't know." Maya felt lost. Completely, utterly lost. "I don't know what we're supposed to do."
"We need to figure this out," Kelly said.
"How?" Adrian asked. "Ember already pleaded guilty. Isn't that... I mean, can you even take that back?"
"I don't know," Kelly admitted. "But we have to try. We can't just abandon her."
Maya felt something stir in her chest. Hope, maybe. Or determination. Or maybe just the refusal to accept that her best friend was going to spend the next ten years in prison for something she didn't do.
"Okay," Maya said. "Okay. So where do we start?"
We need a better lawyer
"And then?"
"And then we figure out how to get Maya out on bail."
It wasn't much of a plan. It probably wouldn't work. But it was something. And something was better than nothing.
"I'm in," Adrian said.
"Me too," Maya said, wiping her eyes. "Obviously."
Kelly nodded, already typing notes into her phone. "Alright. Let's go back to campus.
They started walking toward the parking lot where Kelly's car was parked. The sky was darker now, the promised snow starting to fall in light flurries.
Maya looked back at the courthouse one last time. Somewhere inside, Ember was being processed. Being prepared for transfer to the state correctional facility. Starting a ten-year sentence for crimes she didn't commit.
Hold on, Maya thought. Please, Ember, just hold on. We're going to fix this.
Even if she had no idea how.