Chapter 19 "Distance"
MAYA
Maya stared at her phone, watching the dots appear and disappear as Jordan typed, deleted, typed again.
Finally, the message came through: Can we talk? I feel like I haven't really seen you in weeks.
Guilt twisted in Maya's stomach. She'd canceled on Jordan three times this week alone once to research with Kelly, once to watch Ember sleep making sure she didn't have another episode, and once because she'd been too exhausted from stress to be good company.
I know. I'm sorry. School has been crazy.
It's always school. Or Kelly. Or something. A pause, then another message. I miss you.
Maya's throat tightened. She missed him too. Missed the simplicity of what they'd had before everything went to hell. Before watching her best friend slowly lose herself to something neither of them understood.
I miss you too.
Then let me take you out tonight. Dinner. Just us. No phones, no distractions. Please?
Maya looked across the room at Ember, who was getting ready for another "casual hangout" with Adrian. Her third this week. Ember was humming, actually humming as she picked out an outfit, her face brighter than Maya had seen it in months.
At least someone's relationship was working.
I can't tonight. Kelly and I are supposed to
The text came back immediately: Kelly again?? Maya, seriously?
Maya could feel Jordan's frustration through the screen. She typed and deleted several responses before settling on: It's for a project. I can't bail on him.
The three dots appeared and stayed there for a long time. When Jordan's response finally came, it felt cold:
Fine. Forget I asked.
"No, no, no," Maya muttered, immediately calling him.
Jordan answered on the third ring. "What?"
"Don't be mad. Please. I just"
"I'm not mad, Maya. I'm tired." Jordan's voice was flat. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm at the bottom of your priority list. Behind school, behind Kelly, behind whatever else is going on that you won't tell me about."
"That's not fair"
"Isn't it? When's the last time we had a real conversation? When's the last time you actually seemed happy to see me?" He paused. "Do you even want to be with me anymore?"
"Of course I do!"
"Then prove it. Tonight. Dinner. That's all I'm asking."
Maya looked at Ember again, who was now checking her makeup in the mirror, completely unaware of the conversation happening five feet away. Ember would be with Adrian tonight. She'd be safe. Probably.
"Okay," Maya heard herself say. "Okay. Tonight. Dinner."
"Really?" The hope in Jordan's voice made her guilt intensify.
"Really. What time?"
"Seven? I'll pick you up."
After they hung up, Maya sat on her bed, staring at her phone. She should text Kelly, tell him she couldn't make their research session. But Kelly would understand. He had to understand.
Can't research tonight. Jordan wants to do dinner. Rain check?
Kelly's response was almost instant: No problem. Enjoy. You deserve a break.
The message should have made her feel better. Instead, it made her feel worse. Because she didn't deserve a break. Not when Ember was still possessed, still in danger, still potentially a threat to everyone around her including Adrian.
"You okay?" Ember asked, finally noticing Maya's expression.
"Yeah, just Jordan stuff. We're going to dinner tonight."
"That's good! You guys haven't hung out in forever." Ember sat beside her. "Is everything okay with you two?"
"I don't know," Maya admitted. "I think I've been a terrible girlfriend lately."
"You've been stressed. He should understand that."
"But I can't tell him why I'm stressed. So from his perspective, I'm just constantly blowing him off for no reason." Maya rubbed her face. "How do you balance everything? School, friends, relationships?"
Ember laughed. "I don't have a relationship to balance. And I've been pretty terrible at the friend thing lately too. You and Kelly have been doing all this research while I just exist."
"You're dealing with your own stuff."
"Am I? Because I feel fine. Better than fine, actually. The nightmares stopped. I'm sleeping normally. Whatever was wrong with me seems to have just gone away." Ember's smile was genuine. "Maybe it was just stress, like you said."
Maya's stomach churned. The nightmares hadn't stopped. Rosanna had just gotten better at hiding. Father David had explained it as the possession strengthened, the spirit learned to mask its presence, to make the host feel normal even as it slowly took over more control.
But Maya couldn't tell Ember that.
"Maybe," Maya said weakly.
"So what are you wearing tonight? You need to look amazing. Make Jordan remember why he fell for you in the first place." Ember was already digging through Maya's closet. "What about this dress? The blue one?"
"Em, it's just dinner"
"Exactly. Which means you should look hot but not like you're trying too hard." Ember pulled out the dress a deep blue wrap dress Maya had bought for a sorority formal and never worn. "This. Definitely this."
Maya let herself be pulled into the distraction of outfit planning, makeup selection, and Ember's excited commentary about how Jordan "wouldn't know what hit him."
For a few minutes, it felt normal. Like they were just two college girls getting ready for dates, worrying about normal things.
But the illusion shattered when Maya caught her reflection in the mirror.
She looked exhausted. Haunted. Like she was carrying the weight of the world.
Which, in a way, she was.
JORDAN
Jordan Hayes had been planning this dinner for a while.
He'd made reservations at Marcello's the nicest Italian restaurant in Hollow Creek, the kind of place that required a jacket and had actual cloth napkins. He'd bought flowers pink roses, Maya's favorite. He'd even gotten his roommate to help him pick out a new shirt.
Everything had to be perfect. Because if tonight didn't work, if Maya was still distant and distracted
He couldn't finish that thought.
Jordan had been in love with Maya Rodriguez since the day he met her at freshman orientation. She'd been wearing a ratty high school band t-shirt and had stolen the last chocolate croissant from the welcome breakfast right out from under him. When he'd protested, she'd broken it in half and shared it with him.
"There," she'd said, grinning. "Now we're both happy."
That was Maya. Generous, warm, always trying to make sure everyone was okay.
But lately, she'd been different. Distant. Always worried about something she wouldn't talk about. Always with Kelly Thorne, her male best friend who Jordan had never felt threatened by until recently.
Jordan trusted Maya. He did. But the constant secrecy, the canceled plans, the way she looked at her phone like she was waiting for bad news it was eating him alive.
Tonight would fix it. Tonight they'd reconnect, remember what they meant to each other. And maybe, just maybe Maya would finally tell him what was really going on.
Jordan checked his reflection in his car's rearview mirror for the tenth time. Hair looked good. Shirt was clean. Cologne wasn't too strong.
He could do this.
He grabbed the roses and headed into Sterling Hall, texting Maya: Outside your building.
She appeared five minutes later, and Jordan's breath caught.
The blue dress hugged her curves perfectly. Her dark hair was down, falling in waves over her shoulders. She'd done something different with her makeup her eyes looked bigger, her lips fuller.
She looked like the girl he'd fallen for. Beautiful. Confident. Present.
"Wow," Jordan said, handing her the roses. "You look wow."
"You clean up pretty nice yourself." Maya smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "These are beautiful. Thank you."
"Ready?"
"Ready."
The drive to Marcello's was quiet. Jordan tried to fill the silence with small talk about his engineering midterm, about his roommate's new girlfriend, about the upcoming basketball game everyone was talking about. Maya nodded and made appropriate sounds, but Jordan could tell she wasn't really listening.
"Maya," he said finally. "Are you here? With me?"
She turned, surprised. "What?"
"You're physically here, but your mind is somewhere else. Like it always is lately."
"I'm sorry. I'm trying"
"I know. And I appreciate that you came tonight. Really." Jordan reached over and squeezed her hand. "But I need you to actually be here. Present. No thinking about school or Kelly or whatever else is stressing you out. Just be with me. Can you do that?"
Maya looked at their joined hands, then back at his face. Something shifted in her expression determination, maybe. Or guilt.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I can do that. I'm here. I promise."
And for the next hour, she was.