Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five Hope Five months later... The darkness of the night brings with it a silence not found around here in the day. He thinks I'm sleeping, but as tired as I am after the activity of today, I can't bring myself to keep my eyes closed when I know that I can watch him holding her. His hair looks like it did on that first night when he walked into the café. He must have run his fingers through it a hundred times today. The slight stubble on his chin is also clear even in this dark room. I watch as he smiles down on her like he has been since she got here. His little dimple is out again and it melts my heart when he raises her little clasped hand up to his lips and kisses it. He's tracing his finger over her soft skin and watching her as she watches him. When he can't stand it any longer, he brings her little cheek up to his lips and places a soft kiss on it. Nathan is with Madeline and Jackson. I'm so grateful that they were all here earlier when our little surprise entered the world and became part of one of the most generous and loving families I have ever known. Everyone was here to welcome her, but Nathan might have been by far the most excited. I've never seen him sit as still as he did when they wrapped her up and put her in his little arms. I watch as she begins to move around and I can sense she's probably getting a little hungry. Caleb lifts her to his shoulder and rests her head on his chest, rocking slowly with her to buy me more time to sleep. I guess I should let him know I'm awake. "Is she hungry?" I whisper even though we are in a private room and no one is sleeping. "I think so. She's perfect, isn't she?" he asks as he hands her over to me so I can feed her. "Every little part of her," I answer. I move over and make a space for him on the bed with us. I pat my hand on the bed next to me and he climbs in and slides his body against mine. I lift my head up and he instinctively puts his arm behind it so that I can rest on his arm and chest. We watch her as she nurses and drifts in and out of sleep. "She's so beautiful," I say and look up to Caleb only to find him look at me instead of our baby. "Yes, you both are." He kisses me softly and then tucks his arm around my waist. I am sure I look anything other than beautiful right now after the chaos of today. Looking back down at her, so small and innocent, my heart swells with love for my family. When my water broke this morning, Caleb and Nathan had rushed me to the hospital. It was a long labor, followed by two hours of pushing. I was so worried I wasn't going to be able to do it, but with Caleb at my side I can do anything. When they put her in my arms for the first time, I held her close to my heart and made her one of the most important promises of my lifetime. I whispered to her that I would be the mommy she deserved and that I would love her forever above anything else for the rest of my life. The promise was the same one that I gave Nathan on the day that the adoption was official. I stood in front of the judge and Caleb's entire family and promised that I would love him above anything else for the rest of my life. I became his mother and now I'm her mother too. With all the uncertainties in life, there are two things I know for sure; I will always love my children and I will always love Caleb. The End