Chapter 22 Business Deals
My poor little Josie. I can't tell her what I think happened. I'm pretty sure that would break her, and she's already been through so much... and then I'd never get the chance to redeem myself. I really don't want to hurt her again.
"Did you, by chance, look at the police reports?" I ask vaguely, focusing on the agitate tapping on my fingers before I look back up at Josie's sad face. I can tell she's moments away from losing it, but I can't stop. Not now. Things have been set in motion. This needs to play out.
"I was 16. I was in shock! Why would I look at the police report?" Her voice came out strained and panicked... "Why would I... I mean... what was... Did I miss something? Was it my fault they died? Was it because of my party?"
That's right. The accident actually happened the night of Josie's 16th birthday. What a tragic way to spend her sweet sixteen birthday. I was a little pissed off that I didn't get to go say happy birthday to her, but then she would've thought I was there to torment her again.
Strangely enough, a week after it happened my family packed up and moved to Arizona, leaving the grieving Turner family to that bitch of an aunt.
I didn't know why Dad made me leave. I was 20 years old! I could've stayed behind, but Dad said some bullshit about job opportunities in Arizona. Like they didn't have enough in California! I really wanted to stay back and watch over Josie and he sisters. But Dad was the boss, and I didn't want to get cut off.
I really wasn't happy about that, but there was no way I could tell my Dad. After all, I wasn't even supposed to be her friend. I didn't want to be such a jerk to her. I thought she was beautiful and all I thought about was her. Apparently my dad had other plans for her and her sisters.
I find it funny that Little Josie doesn't remember who I am. I know she recognizes me. I saw the moment our eyes met at the flower shop she was trying to figure out where she knew me.
I've changed quite a bit since I was 18, so I'm not surprised she doesn't recognize me. I've gotten taller, my hair is a little shaggier, my shoulders are broader. All my softer edges have turned sharp. So I don't blame her for having a hard time. The only thing that she seems to recognize are my eyes.
I remember the night I'd first seen her. Dad had brought me along, said something about making a business deal with his friends. I didn't care one way or the other. I was 14. Dad said we were going to watch a ballet, and I groan. Why the hell were we watching a bunch of girls prancing around a stage? I was going to be stuck in a chair for hours, bored to death.
Then I watched Josie dance. I didn't need Dad to tell me who it was. My eyes had been drawn to her the moment they took the stage. She was beautiful and graceful.
And after the dance, my 14 year old heart pounded in my chest and my hands began to sweat at the chance to go back stage and meet the pretty little dancer... Only to have Dad stop me and tell me she wasn't good enough for me... And like an idiot, I believed him.
That didn't change the fact I was infatuated with the girl. I bullied her because I wasn't allowed to have her. I wanted to have her as my toy. I wanted to play with her. Dad didn't stop me, so I took that as a go ahead. And I did toy with her, in every way possible. I watched tears fall down her soft cheeks so many times. I could practically trace the trails on her face.