Chapter 195 Paranoid
I look down at my phone. My hands shake as I look at the notification, halfway worried it will be Jay taunting me with my phone!
I sigh in relief as I realize I'm just being stupid again. I really need to start trusting that not everyone is out to get me. Someday I hope I'll learn my lesson.
Trent texted me, and when I read his message, something tightens in my chest. I let out a little sob and blink back my tears. He's not mad at me! (I'd probably be furious if I was him. But he hasn't been anything but sweet to me!)
He was just checking in on me!
Trent: Hey, Angel. I hope you are okay. I would really love to hear your voice, but I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I just talked to Melissa. If she ever pulls anything like this again, I’m calling the cops.
He's still calling me Angel! And after I had run away like a coward. I feel so guilty about how I acted, and yet I know if it happened again, I'd do the same thing! It's not that I want to run away. It's the fact I've been conditioned to think of myself as a piece of shit who deserves the worst. And I've learned to run away before someone can hurt me.
I know! I'm a damn coward! And right now, I wish I was brave like Josie. I wish I could unlearn all my old habits. But it's going to take more than wishful thinking. I'm going to need to see someone to get over all the shit Jay put me through.
But what does he mean he talked to Melissa? Just what the hell did they talk about? I know he was pissed at her. Did he confront her about kissing him in the hallway? My stomach knots just thinking about the two of them together. He's too good for her!
I want to text him back... but right now I just can't. My hands are shaking so badly right now, and my eyes are wet. Just what the hell would I tell him? He said he'd love to hear my voice, but I just can't right now!
Not with that damn letter still crumpled in my hand.
If I call him back, he'll know right away something is wrong and he'll want to come see me. I don't know if I can see anyone right now. I just want to hide... Coming to school was supposed to hide me! I was supposed to be safe at Mountain West.
I'm still sick with the fact Jay found out where I am, and I'm nowhere near Josie and Rick. He knows I'm vulnerable all by myself, and he'll be able to get to me. But how did he find out? No one was supposed to tell anyone where I was going!
The only ones who would even know and have the opportunity to talk to Uncle Jay would be Josie and Liv. And neither of them would tell that evil man where I am... would they?
I don't bother changing my clothes, I just crawl to my bed and slip under my covers and close my eyes. I want the day to end. I want to wake up and forget everything that's happened in the last few hours.
For once, I wasn't immediately thrown into a nightmare filled with Uncle Jay. I dream of Trent as he promises to take care of me, and then it changes to his sad eyes as he watched me leave, before Jay starts chasing me with a chainsaw.
I wake up in a gasp and look out the window. The sun is up. Thank God! I don't want to attempt to go back to sleep after that. At least that dream was different...
I jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom. I spend more time in my shower than is strictly necessary. I need to get my head on straight before I show up in class today.
After my shower, I heat up some water for chamomile tea and toast a piece of bread. I know I need to eat something, or I'll end up passed out in class. That would just be embarrassing.
Finally, I'm pulling up to the school lot and parking my car. I can't help but scan he lot to see if Jay is here somewhere.
But no one is there. I'm just being paranoid. And yet, I’ve still got that prickle in the back of my neck telling me to be cautious. Somewhere out there my uncle is lying in wait. How the hell did he know where I lived? The only one I told was Trent, and there was no time for him to put the letter there! He was with me the whole day!
I try to steel my spine and make my way to the science building. I'm at school for a reason. I need to learn all I can so I can get my degree.
I make it through the corridors of campus, and I hear my name being whispered as I pass. I Just don't know what the hell they are saying. I'm tempted to stop and ask them what the hell it is they have against me, but I'm not really one for confrontations.
I finally make it to my seat in Anatomy and sigh in relief. I don't know why, but in class I feel less visible. I can hide out without standing out in the crowd.
I'm not really surprised when just moments later Trent slides into the seat next to me.