Chapter 183 Nerves
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. My entire day ran through my head like a marathon. First, I showed up at school and had the shock of my life! Not that it was a bad thing Trent was going to school with me, but I wish I didn't look like I was having a freaking heart attack while I was processing!
Then he asked for my number, and he even took me out to coffee! I don't remember feeling so comfortable with a boy. He was being sweet and asking me all sorts of questions.
He walked me to my car and then I get a text that almost sent me spiraling. And somehow, he calmed me down instead of exasperating the situation. He was gentle and patient, even offering to drive me home.
Then I got the call from Josie, and my mind had been diverted to her and Rick and the baby, Liv and Braxton... And inevitably Trent again.
I was glad to hear she wasn’t trying to push me in any way. She just listened. And she seemed pleased to know I had a friend here. It made me feel good to know that she was encouraging me.
I was surprised Trent texted me. But I have to admit, it made my heart flutter in excitement. I had just gotten off the phone with Jos and I really was stressed, and taking a bubble bath seemed to be the best way to calm my nerves.
It was really sweet of him to check in on me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he knew I was panicking after that anonymous text. I practically had a breakdown right in front of him, and I might be able to lie to my sister, but there is no way I could lie to him.
I'm still wondering why he asked me for my address. Not that I don't believe him that his roommate might make studying hard. Lots to the guys Trent hangs out with tend to be rowdy. Guess that comes from playing football.
But that comment about helping me scrub my back had me blushing all the way to my toes. He probably didn't even think anything of it! However, it had me giggling like a maniac.
The sad thing is, I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with touches like that. Not while my mind still pulls me into the darkness and pain.
But last night, when he said that, it was playful and I know he was just joking. I actually let my guard down a little! It's a good thing I've got an apartment all to myself, someone would've thought I was spazzing out.
I've been pacing in my room for the last 5 minutes trying to get my heart rate to calm down. I have to leave for campus if I want to be on time for my Anatomy 101 class.
I know I need this class. It's required. But it makes me nervous. And yet, I want to be a doctor! I have to get over myself and move on with my life! I can't let my insecurities rule my life!
"Oh! Just do it, Charlie! This isn't helping at all!" I huff in annoyance with myself. I've never been the brave one. That would be Josie. I wish I was half as brave as my sister, then I could've stood up for myself. Then I could've run to the police! I could've put us all out of our misery. But I was a coward.
With one last check my image in the mirror, I grab my bag and purse and rush down to my car. Even as I enter it, I'm filled with nervous jitters. "Seriously! It's just a damn class!" I say through clenched teeth.
I'm not sure if I'm more nervous about the class or the thought I'll be seeing Trent after that dream I had about him last night. I don't know what he would even think if I told him I dreamed about him kissing me. He might just think I'm being ridiculous. He's kissed lots of girls, so I wouldn't even be a blip on his radar.
It doesn't take me long before I pull up into the parking lot. Searching for a spot takes a bit longer though, but eventually I find a space barely big enough to fit my car.
I rush to the science building, and I'm shocked to see Trent waiting outside the door for me. He's casually leaning against the wall like he has nothing better to do. But his eyes betray him. They light up the moment he sees me.
"I was starting to worry I'd have to take my own notes," he jokes, pulling away from the wall.