Chapter 151 Somewhere
Richard's POV
For the past two days, I've done nothing but take care of Josie. I've been watching her every move. Watching her breathe. Watching her sleep. Watching her whimper and twitch as she dreams.
I can't get past this fucking heavy feeling in my chest. I hate it. I want to see her smile again, but she just looks so... empty. And that is not my little dancer!
Josie's been quiet. Too fucking quiet. She keeps staring out into nothing. Her answers are slow and lethargic. Her focus is zero. She seems to be stuck in her head, and I don't know how to fucking pull her back out!
Whatever happened at the warehouse broke her more than James ever could. I don't know if I really want to know, but on the other hand, I want to know so I can be here to support my girl like she needs.
It took me until this morning to finally get her to talk to me. I'm not complaining! I'm just grateful to have her finally responding to me again. Her silence had been slowly killing me.
I can see the darkness in her eyes. She looks so fucking lost and alone. But she's not alone. How the hell do I get her to see that? I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere.
Something happened to her under my fucking father's care. What exactly was it that made her snap? I remember that damn collar around her neck, like he fucking claimed her. I took it off as soon as I could. But that cage... I know it was mostly a prop, but it was also a symbol that has me wanting to strangle the bastard.
I'm scared to even let her out of my sight for a moment. What would happen if I left her and she curls up into herself and stops talking again? What if she's scared and won't ever look at me because she thinks I abandoned her?
I've had Jeff bring everything I need. But I haven't seen him in hours. Maybe he's just giving us some time alone. That's fine. I don't need anything but my Josie right now.
I took her into the shower, trying to warm her up. Careful not to touch anything that would make her flinch. I washed away the stink of the warehouse and smoke from the cigarettes, and splashes of alcohol making her skin sticky.
I've kept my kisses gentle, even though I'm dying for more than a soft whisper of my lips across her skin. I don't know what will set her off.
I called a doctor. I'm taking her in to see her tomorrow. Dr. Frances specializes in trauma. She assured me she will do everything in her power to bring my Josie back to herself.
I'm going to do whatever the hell I have to do to bring my sweet Josie back to life. I have no idea how long it will take, but I'm not giving up on her. If it takes years for her to feel normal again, then so be it.
"Hey, little dancer. How are you feeling?" I whisper, pulling her into my arms and curling my body around her. She's so fucking cold lately. It's like her circulatory system forgot how to work.
"I'm... tired," she whispers. There is something so... deep in that one word. It's not that she's tired and needs a nap. It's her whole soul that seems to weigh her down. Her spirit has been worn down, and it guts me.
"Your sisters are worried about you," I mumble, placing a soft kiss on her neck. She shivers slightly from my touch, but other than that she doesn't react.
"I'm sorry... I just can't..." she sighs, turning those hollow eyes up to me. I don't know what she's feeling right now. She hasn't told me how she is actually feeling, other than she's not ready to talk about it.
"I know, baby. You don't have to be sorry. We just want you to feel better," I sigh. I feel so helpless right now. But I'm not going to let that darkness consume me. Not when I need to be the anchor for my little dancer.
"Mmm..." Her soft agreement isn't much more than a whisper of air. She just doesn't have the energy she used to, and I'm pretty damn sure it has nothing to do with the baby.
"Baby, I've got you a doctor to come see you tomorrow. She'll help you through with everything you've suffered, and I'm going to be here with you every step of the way," I promise. "We are going to pull you out of the darkness you've been stuck in, little dancer. We are not going to give up on you."
If she wants me to leave the room I will, but I'd much rather be by her side. I want to hear what she has to say, and I want her to be brave enough to say it in front of me.
"Thank you, Rick," she murmurs. I see a flicker of a smile before it disappears. That one little facial tick has my heart racing. She's still in there. Somewhere.