Chapter 137 A Win
Stepping back into the Wild Blooms flower shop after being gone for so long was something else. It's been almost 2 weeks since she dropped by, and I'm feeling guilty as hell, but she insisted.
I've been feeling better... Except for some morning sickness. I'm almost 9 weeks now, and I'm still mostly flat. My belly is thicker and my breasts are getting larger, but other than that, you wouldn't be able to tell if you were just looking at me.
We are trying to keep the baby a secret for now. Mostly because of safety reasons. Rick is paranoid, and rightfully so. He doesn't want anyone trying to hurt our baby. And I agree with him.
Hailey came up to me and wrapped me in her arms. "I'm so glad you are back dear. I've missed you!" She whispered, even though it's only just the two of us in the shops.
She prepared too! She's got a whole plate full of cookies just waiting for me. Along with another plate full of crackers and tea. Hailey is one of the only ones who knows about the baby, and she promised to take the secret to the grave.
But she refused to let me starve, even if morning sickness is kicking my ass. She insisted she'd have some mommy snacks that will stay down. Damn! I've missed her so much!
"I've missed you too," I admit, sniffling. Damn these fucking hormones! They seem to get worse the farther along I get.
"Tell me how things have been going for you and Richard, dear. I'm so excited about the baby. I bet your sisters are over the moon!" Hailey chatters away.
"The girls are convinced it's going to be a baby girl, but Charlie insists on painting the nursery a powder blue, claiming it's a girl color too," I chuckle, telling her about the girl's preparations for become the best aunts in history.
I guess this stems from Aunt Beth and her being a bitch. They are both determined to make sure the baby is spoiled rotten. And I'm not even going to stop it.
I think the baby will be good for everyone. Especially Charlie. She's such a gentle soul, and surprisingly the baby seems to be bringing her out of whatever darkness she's been facing.
I've yet to sit her down and ask her out right what the hell is going on. I think I'm waiting for the go-ahead. She still seems closed off about anything to do with this depression. But once she's ready to handle it, I really need to know. I'm her big sister, after all. I need to be able to protect her from whatever it is that haunts her.
I freeze my movements when I hear his name brought up. I look down at snowdrops I was adding to the arrangement, and my hands start to shake.
Dammit! I thought I was past this!
"I heard about what happened to James. I'm glad he is going to jail! I'm so sorry, dear. I always thought he was bad news, but I never imagined..." Hailey continued to mumble, but my head is full of panic.
I can't deal with him right now! I've been trying so damn hard to get past this. Rick even suggested therapy, but I told him I was handling it. I guess I'm not doing as good as I thought I had been.
"I don't want to talk about him, " I whisper, trying to push he awful memories out of my mind. I blink the tears back, but there is just no stopping them right now.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! That was so insensitive of me... I promise I won't bring him up again. I should've known better," Hailey rattled off, looking shaken. She looks so damn guilty, and it's not her fault I can't handle hearing the bastard's name!
I go hug her again. "It's okay. I'm getting over it. Rick is helping me. I'm not going to let what that bastard did to me get me down," I promise as I sniff, trying to get my emotions under control.
These damn hormones! Honestly, I don't even know if it's the baby right now, or just my own inability to deal with the shit he put me through. I've been through hell and back, and now I'm a royal mess!
Maybe Rick is right and I should talk to someone about all this? It's not like James would win if I'm seeking help, right? It's still a win! I think?