Chapter Five

Ada was enjoying a relatively normal school week, minus sleep. Ewan would walk with her to and from school every day and she would spend most of the school day with Kacey. Unfortunately, she still looked over her shoulder. She still feared that Jessie was lurking behind every corner. And any time someone accidentally brushes against her in the hall, she has to run to the bathroom to throw cold water on her face before she passes out or vomits from hyperventilating. But even though she was learning to cope with her new life, nothing ever helped when it was nighttime.

In her room, she would relax, or try to relax, on her bed. The TV stays on 24/7 in her bedroom now, for a little background noise. It was something to keep her attention away from the bumps and creaks that were now more noticeable. The lamp that rested on her nightstand by her bed would stay on all night also. Ada couldn’t stay in an entirely dark room. Even the light from the TV wasn’t enough to keep her satisfied. The hallway lights leading to the kitchen and living room would also stay on. This annoyed Tanya to no end and she had fussed at her daughter for keeping the lights on, but it made her daughter feel better; safer.

One night when Ada managed to fall asleep, she was awoken three hours later. She was covered in sweat from head to toe. Her heart was racing and she felt as though she was going to be sick. Fear had consumed her as tears started streaming down her cheeks.

She dreamed she was back in that gas station. The gaunt, ugly face of Jessie haunted her. The smell of ammonia was stuck in her nose. She could see Luke standing behind the counter and then he was lying in his pool of blood. Jessie grabbing the back of her head as she slipped around in the blood on the floor.

She reached for her phone with a shaking hand. It was 2 a.m. and she could only think of one person to talk to.

A: Are you awake?

She sends a text to Ewan. Hopefully, he will be awake. Her cell phone chimes.

E: Yeah, what’s up?

Oh, thank God. Ada thought to herself in relief. Maybe talking to him would help her calm down.

A: Can’t sleep. Nightmare.

E: Be there in a few.

A: What?

Ada stared at her phone in startled confusion. Is he really coming here?

Within minutes, Ewan showed up at Ada’s house. Luckily, Tanya had to work nights this week. But, just in case her mother turned up, she brought Ewan to her room and made sure to lock the door behind her. She could only imagine how well her mom would react to a boy being in her bedroom this late at night.

“What are you doing here?” Ada asks in shock.

“You said you had a nightmare.” He replied with a shrug as if it were completely normal to just randomly show up to someone’s house just because they had a bad dream.

Ada just stares at him blankly while crossing her arms.

Ewan chuckles. “I just figured since neither one of us could sleep, what’s the point in just texting or talking on the phone? Why not just hang out?”

“I guess I follow you.” She replied, eyeing him skeptically.

He flashes Ada his perfect smirk. “You are cute when you’re mad.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” She retorts sarcastically and rolling her eyes. “And I’m not mad,” Ada replies walking over to her bed and sitting down as she thumbs through a magazine.

Ewan decided to plop down beside her and just stare up at the ceiling.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Ada asks as she examines him. His hair was a tousled mess as if he had tossed and turned all night trying to sleep but to no avail. There were dark bags under his eyes, almost as deep as Ada’s. Ewan’s eyes were a little bloodshot from sleep deprivation.

“No, I’m good, thank you.” He props his head upon his arm to stare at Ada.

“Do you want a magazine? Play a game?” She asked, trying to be a good host. But she felt slightly awkward, yet safe with his presence.

“Nu-uh.”

“Well, you seem to be bored.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I do.”

Ada continued flipping through her magazine. About five minutes later she looks over and sees Ewan still staring at her. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Have you been staring at me the whole time?”

“Yep.”

“Cut it out.”

“Why?” He chuckled. He thought staring at her like this was somehow amusing.

Ada grabs a pillow and smacks him in the face with it.

They both laugh before silence falls between them.

“Hey, I still haven’t thanked you.” Ada began. “For the other night at the store.”

Ewan’s face becomes strained. Obviously, she had struck a nerve.

“Every time I close my eyes, I see Jessie and Luke.” She admitted while looking down at her hands. "But you have it worse, you had to watch your friend—"

“He wasn’t my friend.” Ewan retorts as he sits upon the bed.

“Oh, then how did you two know each other?” Ada asked out of curiosity.

He scratched the back of his head. “From school.” Ewan paused as he forced himself to stop talking.

She stared at him, waiting for what else was on his mind. “And?”

“Look.” He hesitated. “Before that night, I was kind of a different person.”

Ada looks at him oddly. “How do you mean?”

Ewan clears his throat. “That gas station was where I used to do,” he stopped, reading Ada’s face. She could tell that he didn’t want to talk to her about it.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Ada replies, feeling slightly disappointed.

“I used to go there to sell drugs.”

Ada’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

She stared at him inquisitively.

“That look you had just given me. It’s the way everyone stares at me when they see me.”

A silence fell between them.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a judgmental look.” Ada began. “I was just shocked that... Well, you don’t exactly look like someone who does stuff like that.”

“I don’t anymore. I had stopped a few weeks before that night.” Ewan replied defensive. “But Jason called me wanting to meet up. I knew what he wanted and I told him I didn’t have anything but he was trying to convince me to bring him to someone who could help him get what he wanted.”

“So you two spent most of the time in the back of the store arguing quietly because you didn’t have any drugs on you.” Ada blurted out skeptically. “Sorry, please continue.

He stared at her curiously before responding. “Yeah.” Ewan shakes his head. “But I moved out of my parents’ house to get away from all of that and moved in with my grandparents. But Jason wanted me to bring him to my parents’ house to get what he wanted, which I was not up for.”

“Well, that’s great,” Ada responded supportively.

“I guess. I mean, yeah it’s great because I don’t want to turn out like my parents and brother. But I’ve been working for them for so long and ignoring everything about school that I have no idea what I am doing.”

“I can help you with that.” She offered, nonchalant.

Ewan looks up at Ada in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. What subjects do you need help in?”

“Algebra, English, and History.”

“Oh, I can help with those.” She replied without hesitation. “Do you want to come over and start tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that would help out a lot.” He replied smiling. “Well, I think I should get going. You look like you’re doing better and could try to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna happen,” Ada responds sarcastically.

Ewan just smirks.

She walks him out and runs back to her room.

As Ada lay in bed, she started thinking about how Ewan was ready to start taking his studies seriously. Then her mind found its way to Luke and Jason. They were so young when their lives were ended. There were so many things they had yet to experience in life and they were robbed of that.

Those two had probably experienced things that she hadn’t even thought of doing yet; things that a normal 17-year-old girl should’ve done by now.

Ada was always teased by her friend or ex-friend now, that she was always such a Goody Two-Shoes. She was always a good girl, trying to stay out of trouble, always trying to please her mother. She never wanted to do anything to upset her. There were things, like going to a party, a dance, or even experiencing a first kiss, that she had yet to do.

Grabbing a piece of paper and pen, she starts to form a list of things that she has missed out on thus far.

Maybe I’ll be able to do some of these things this year. She thought to herself as she penned down a secret bucket list.