58. Lightning Without a Storm

58. Lightning Without a Storm
Esmarie Seraphine Vale

My chest ached softly as I fastened the belt of the waistcoat the maids handed to me earlier this morning. The bright red fabric clung to my frame, adorned with delicate embroidery stitched with golden thread.

Apparently, it was my training outfit— boots reinforced with a kind of leather I had never seen in my entire life. It was as strong as plastic. Then a simple tunic with a flowy, not too delicate skirt. 

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, looking at the stranger that looked exactly like me but wasn’t me. I felt like a clown, painting my face and putting on a mask of control just to deceive everyone else while I was shaking with terror within.

Esmarie….A protector. A guardian. A divine being.

The absurdity of it all kept me up all night, pondering and wondering until I slowly fell asleep.

My leg ached as I shifted my weight, the bite wound still bandaged underneath my skirt. Instantly, memories of Ciro flooded right into my mind. 

I had tried countless times not to think about the way he knelt at my feet last night, his hands steady on my skin, the raw worry in his gaze, and the burning heat of the kiss.

It made my stomach twist just remembering it.

My fingers reached up to touch my lips, caressing the pale flesh, and for a moment, I imagined it all over again. The steady weight of his hand on my waist, his soft yet firm lips guiding mine, the sparks beneath my eyelids, the shivering heat of it as—

A soft knock pulled me from my foolish thoughts.

“Your Majesty?” A maid’s head peeked in. For a moment, I wondered who she was looking for before it finally clicked that she was talking to me. The title didn’t quite sit well with me. I wasn’t used to it and was pretty sure I would never get used to it.

“The King asked me to fetch you. He’s already waiting at the training grounds. You should… um… prepare yourself.”

Her hesitation didn’t go unnoticed. She didn’t meet my gaze fully, as if she wasn’t sure how to address me.

I forced a breath. “Tell him I’m coming.”

She bowed quickly and rushed away, leaving the room silent once more.

I caught one last look at myself in the mirror.

Then, I stepped out of the room.

Outside the room, there were already a few guards stationed. From the way they looked at me, I could tell they were waiting for me. 

I followed them through the palace gates down a jagged path lined with cherry trees that led to an empty clearing.

My heart beat faster the closer I got. The thought of seeing Ciro after everything that happened yesterday sent my stomach into a mess of butterflies and anticipation.

He was waiting for me.

Or so I thought.

The clearing came into view… and instead of Ciro’s tall, imposing frame, a different silhouette stood at the center.

Hemne.

Her cloak billowed behind her, her arms folded as though she’d been there for hours. She turned the moment I stepped foot onto the field, hazel eyes scanning me from head to toe.

“You’re late.”

My stomach dropped. “Where’s Ciro? He said—”

“I know what he said. But he won’t be here. Not for this part of your training. I’m handling it.”

I blinked, confused. “Why? What part?” I glanced around the empty field. “Where is he?”

Hemne sighed in that way she did when she didn’t want to answer a question. “He’ll handle your physical training later. Your power — the divine part of you — isn’t something he can help you with. That’s my job.”

I frowned, something uneasy curling in my gut. “Did something happen? Why didn’t he come with you? He always—”

“Esmarie.” Her tone sharpened. “Do not think of him for now. Today is about you.”

“But—”

“It’s about you,” she repeated, stepping closer. “Now, stand up straight. We start immediately.”

Her insistence sent a prickle of worry down my spine.

From the way Ciro spoke yesterday, he wouldn’t have missed something like this. Especially involving me being outside the palace.

Sure, the Guardian problem had been solved, but..

Hemne wasn’t giving me room to ask more.

She lifted her hand and gestured to my injured leg. “We begin with the basics — self-healing. Every Guardian must know how to save and heal themselves before trying to save someone else. It is the first thing the Divinity taught.”

I inhaled slowly. “I don’t know how.”

“You will.” Hemne circled me and then tapped the bandage. 

“Remove it.”

My mouth went dry. “But—”

“Now.”

Hands trembling, I pulled up my skirt, then unlaced my boot. She helped me peel off the bandage. The wound looked worse without the dressing — raw, swollen, still faintly bleeding at the edges. My stomach flipped with disgust at the sight of it.

Hemne didn’t flinch.

“Divinity and light go hand in hand. You have to connect to the light within you,” she said.“ Fenrick’s dark spell had lifted the seal on your powers, and now you can finally use them. To use your abilities, you need to listen to your emotions — focus, intention, will. Mold those into one.”

I stared blankly at her. “I don’t even know what that means.”

She didn’t get angry. She simply placed her hand over mine. “Try.”

So I did.

I closed my eyes, trying to find something — anything — inside myself that resembled whatever she meant. Light? Will? Power?

All I found was exhaustion. Fear. A mind that felt too loud and too empty at the same time.

Minutes passed.

Nothing happened.

Hemne guided, instructed and encouraged. But the more she spoke, the more I felt the pressure in my skull build. It felt as though something inside me was locked behind a heavy door, and I didn’t have the key. I didn’t even know what the key looked like.

I tried again.

And again.

And again.

By the tenth attempt, sweat clung to my hairline, my breathing ragged. A sharp ache shot behind my eyes every time I reached inward.

My leg throbbed violently.

“It’s… It’s not working,” I panted, running my hand through my hair.

“It will,” Hemne assured. “Look — the bleeding stopped.”

I glanced down.

She was right. The rawest edge of the wound had dimmed, the angry redness calming just slightly. Not healed — but no longer dripping blood.

It wasn’t much, but it was proof that something inside me had stirred.

Still… it felt like I had run miles without moving an inch.

“I can’t…” My voice shook. “My head… feels like it’s splitting.”

“You’ll grow used to it,” Hemne said. “Power exhausts the mind before even touching the body.”

I lowered myself onto the ground, throat tight. “Can we—just—pause? For a moment?”

Hemne opened her mouth to speak, but then a sudden crack shot through the sky, almost as bright as lightning.

I shot up from where I sat, heart racing as I turned to a seemingly unbothered Hemne.

“What is happening?”