Chapter 62 A mistake
Dandelion.
Sunlight streamed through the curtains, painting golden stripes across the silk sheets. I blinked awake slowly, my body feeling heavy and sore in places I didn't want to think about.
Then I felt it.
The weight of an arm around my waist. The warmth of someone's skin pressed against my back. The steady rhythm of breathing against my neck.
My eyes flew open.
Oh God.
Alexander.
The memories crashed into me all at once. The fight, The kiss, The way he had lifted me against the wall. How we had barely made it to the bed. The feeling of his hands on my skin and his lips on mine, the way he had whispered my name like a melody.
Heat flooded my face.
What have I done?
I need to leave now. Before he wakes up and makes this a thousand times more awkward than it already is.
I started to shift away from him carefully, trying to slide out from under his arm without disturbing him. My heart hammered against my ribs as I moved inch by inch toward the edge of the bed.
Almost there.
Just a little more and I could---
Suddenly, his arm tightened around my waist, pulling me back against his chest with surprising strength.
"Don't move."
His voice sounded rough with sleep, but it stopped me dead.
I froze, barely breathing. Maybe he was still deep asleep. Maybe he didn't actually mean it. Maybe if I just waited a few seconds, his grip would loosen and I could escape this mortifying situation.
But his arm didn't loosen a bit. If anything, he pulled me closer.
"Alex," I whispered with a shaky voice. "I need to---"
"Don't move," he repeated, his voice clearer now. He was wide awake now.
My pulse jumped. I felt his chest rise and fall against my back, I felt the way his breath tickled the sensitive spot behind my ear. Everything about this was too intimate, too real, too much like something that mattered when it absolutely couldn't.
"We need to talk about this," I said quietly, still not turning to face him.
"Do we?"
"Yes. We broke a core rule and---"
"I know what we did, Dandelion."
The way he said my full name sent a shiver down my spine. I finally turned in his arms, needing to see his face, needing to understand what was happening between us.
His green eyes were already open, watching me with an intensity that made my breath catch. His dark hair was messy from sleep, falling across his forehead in a way that made him look younger, almost vulnerable. But there was nothing vulnerable about the way he was looking at me.
He looked at me with this intense hunger, like he wanted more, and it scares the hell out of me.
Because I don't know what his true intentions are, and I really don't want to end up falling completely in love with a man who would only see me as a contractual obligation.
I've had my great share of heartbreak and rejection, so I'm definitely not going to allow it repeat itself, even if it would hurt real bad.
"Alex....This doesn't change anything," I said quickly, before I could lose my nerve. "What happened last night, it was just tension. We've been living together, pretending to be married, and things just got out of hand."
Something flickered in his eyes. "Just tension?."
"Yes. It doesn't have to mean anything, right?."
He was quiet for a long moment, his gaze searching my face. Then his hand moved, his thumb tracing the line of my jaw with a gentleness that contradicted everything I was trying to convince myself of.
I should have pulled away, I should have reinforced the boundaries we just obliterated. But instead, I found myself leaning into his touch, my eyes fluttering closed for just a second.
Traitor. My body was a complete traitor.
"Right," he said slowly. "It doesn't mean anything."
I opened my eyes to find him still watching me, with an unreadable expression.
The fact that he didn't try to convince me otherwise left my heart in turbulence, so does that mean I was right after all.
"We should probably establish some new rules," I continued, moving slightly away from him. "To make sure this doesn't happen again."
He scoffed and pulled me back in his arms, "New rules that we'll end up breaking again?."
He was right. Of course he was right.
I bit my lips hard, what else are we supposed to do, why do things get out of hand anytime we're together.
"We just need to be more careful," I muttered, staying still in his arms as he continued to outline my jaw line. God why is he doing this to me, it's making me confused, why does he cling to me not wanting to let go but at the same time agree that this was a mistake.
"We should keep more distance. Remember why we're doing this in the first place."
"The contract." He muttered.
"Exactly. The contract."
But even as I said it, the words felt hollow. The contract that had brought us together felt like a distant memory now, something that belonged to a different version of us. The version that hadn't crossed the line we had just crossed last night.
"So we should agree it was just a one time thing? A mistake?" He asked in a low voice, looking directly into my eyes as if he was searching for something.
Those words stung more than it should have, but I won't let him see my pain.
"If that's what you want to call it, then it's a mistake."
But his eyes darkened. "What would you call it Dandy?"
I didn't have an answer. Or maybe I did, but I wasn't brave enough to say it out loud. Because admitting that last night had felt like something more than just a mistake would mean admitting that I might have feelings for him. Deep, dangerous, uncertain feelings.
"It doesn't matter what I would call it," I finally said. "What matters is that it can't happen again. We have a deal, remember? You help me get my revenge, I play the dutiful wife for your grandmother. That's it. That's all this is."
"Okay." His hand dropped from my face and I immediately missed the warmth. "That's all this is."
We stared at each other still laying down in bed, the small space between us charged with everything we weren't saying. The morning light made his eyes look almost translucent, and I could see the war happening behind them, the same war that was raging inside me.
"We should get up," I said in barely a whisper, "Your grandmother will expect us at breakfast."
"Let's stay here longer."
"Alex---"
"Just one more minute, Dandelion."
There was something in his voice, something raw and almost pleading, that made me stay. Made me lie there in his arms even though every logical part of my brain was screaming at me to leave, to put distance between us before I did something stupid.
Like fall completely for him.
Oh God. Am I in love with him?
No. No, that can't be it. This was just confusion, just the aftermath of an incredible sex and too many emotions running high. It would pass. It had to pass.
This changes nothing, I convinced myself.
But the way his arm tightened around me, the way I pressed closer to his warmth instead of pulling away, told a different story entirely.
We were liars. Both of us.
The contract was meaningless now. Somewhere between that first kiss and last night, we had crossed a line we could never uncross. And as I lay there in Alex's arms, feeling his heartbeat against my back and trying to convince myself that I felt nothing, I realized with startling clarity that I was in far too deep.
And the most terrifying part?
I wasn't sure If he felt the same.