Chapter 64 The Nightmares
Money can bury a body. It can buy silence from the police, scrub digital footprints, and manufacture a suicide note so convincing it could win a literary prize.
But money couldn't buy the silence inside my own head.
“Ken!!” Sadie screamed, clutching onto his lifeless body desperately with tears streaming down her face, refusing to let go of him.
Her breaths uneven, her fingers digging into his arm. Her voice raspy, her body shaking fiercely at the sight of him.
I saw it all, the devastation she went through, clinging onto his body without any intention from afar. My hands curled in a powerless fist, jaw clenching as I witnessed this undesirable sight.
“Madam. We have to take him.” The medics informed, pulling her away.
“No… No… don’t take him. Ken… Ken!!”
She sobbed when the ambulance took his body. Her hand miserably extended towards him, the cries refusing to settle down.
I shouldn’t have watched from afar. Doing so pierced me with a venomous blade. The sight of her total destruction engraved on my mind.
Each time I closed my eyes, the moment I unintentionally pushed him, the resonance of her wails echoed, stealing my ability to breathe properly.
To the world, Ken was just another tragic headline.
But to me, he was a weight that wouldn't stop dragging me under.
‘Just what the fuck had I done?’
It stole my sleep, my peace, my senses. It was murdering a piece of my heart, I had begun to experience nightmares about what happened.
My body was cold, sweaty badly as I could feel my heart on the verge of bursting from distress. I was groaning so loudly in my sleep.
I tried to wake up but my body refused to move. The sight of him falling appeared again, suffocating me.
‘It’s an accident’ I tried to convince myself but my voice was sealed, the heftiness of my actions had chained me.
"Vince?- Vince!” A violent jerk thankfully brought me to my senses before the darkness could have consumed me.
“You’re shaking again. What happened? Are you alright?"
I snapped awake, though my eyes had been open the whole time. I was lying, the sheets tangled around my legs. My skin was slick with a cold, oily sweat accompanied by a terror I failed to hide.
Alyssa moved toward me, her face was filled with pure, angelic concern. She didn't see a murderer. She saw a man breaking under the ‘stress of work.’
Her hands caressed me, wiping the sweat, curling near me, thinking of a way of reducing my dismay.
"I… I am fine," I croaked, though it was a bitter lie and sat up. The proximity began to feel suffocation. The fact I did it for her worsened the dread.
I was converting into a monster. Or perhaps I was one all this time but now, I have been awakened.
"You aren't." She sat behind me, her arms wrapping around my waist, her chin resting on my shoulder, a genuine gesture of concern that internally killed me, it was too much for a man like me.
"You’ve been having nightmares for a month, Vince. You call out in your sleep. You look like you're fighting a war in your dreams."
I leaned back into her, my heart was a frantic rhythm compared to hers, I was consumed by the darkness I walked into so proudly.
I wanted to tell her.
For the first time in my life, the urge to confess was an ache in my throat.
I wanted to tell her that her hero was a monster, that the flowers in this room were paid for with the life of the man she just slapped a month ago.
But I couldn't. If I told her, the gaze she was giving me, the one of absolute, unwavering devotion, would turn to horror.
And I would rather die than see her look at me the way Sadie looked at that corpse.
"It’s just the pressure," I lied, my voice trembling, placing my hand over hers, relaxing myself in her warmth to gain a shore.
“Are you thinking about Ken?” She asked.
My eyes went wide, I replied too quickly, “No, why would I?”
“But, I am. Why… Did he kill himself, Vince?” She pulled back a little, narrowing her eyes.
“Did you put him under the debts? He got my money too, he got his lover too… what did this do?”
I frowned, “Are you worried about him?”
“That man has committed suicide, Vince. He was right before me a few weeks ago and now suddenly… he is no more.” She paused, holding my arm worriedly, her heart still pure as ever.
“I am getting scared. What is happening? Is this linked to your threats too? He mentioned-”
Before she could panic and reach an unfavorable conclusion, I held her firmly and kissed her hands for reassurance.
“His death has nothing to do with us, Alyssa. He took your assets, cheated on you. He ruined your bond with your family. A man this evil has paid for his deeds.” I tried to declare strictly but my voice wasn’t convincing.
She bit her bottom lip nervously, “Still…”
“Don’t think much about it… go back to sleep, Alyssa.” I forced a smile, pulling her to my chest.
“Just stay by my side. Your support is all I need.”
"I don't care about the money or the company. I’m here. I’m never leaving you, Vince.” She declared, her delicate fingers clutching onto me.
“No matter how dark it gets, I am staying right by your side."
She kissed my forehead, a gesture of such pure, blind faith that it made me want to weep.
"Do you hear me?" she insisted, her eyes locking onto mine. "Never. You saved me, and now I’m going to save you. We’re in this together, forever."
I pulled her into my arms, burying my face in her neck. I held her with a desperate, crushing strength.
She was my anchor, but she was also my judge. Every ‘I am with you’ she whispered was a fresh lash against my soul, my world was tilting, I was no longer myself.
"Promise me," I choked out, losing my composure.
"I promise," she breathed.
As she held me, I stared into the shadows of the room.
Though the ‘suicide’ was yesterday's news to her and the world. My nightmares were the only constant thing left of Ken.