Chapter 58 Losing Himself
I laid her back against the sheets, only focused on the moment, on her, to forget about all my worries and existing in this moment.
For a moment, looking at her, the noise in my head stopped.
The blackmailer’s voice, the million-dollar threats, the dread to the upcoming ruin- it all dimmed.
I lowered myself over her, my movements slow, draped in a tenderness that was only meant for her.
She was shyly looking away when my fingers trailed on the side of her leg to wrap it around me, indulging in the perfect sensation of it.
“You truly are,”
My mouth found hers, tasting of the coffee she made, hungrily capturing her lips before parting for oxygen, “My best dose of tranquility,"
Growling, I kissed her with a soft, lingering ache, pressing her down on the sheets. Our lips moved in a mystic rhythm as the heat between us increased to an uncontrollable level.
I wanted to stay here, in this version of the story where I was her protector.
My hands traced the familiar curves of her waist, my touch light, savoring the way her body was trembling. Closing her eyes to sway the way our bodies were encased.
"Vince," she whispered, her fingers tangling in my hair, pulling me closer, staring at me in divine mesmerization, "I have got you."
“I know…” I chuckled, pecking her lips. Sliding my hand inside her shirt to remove it while she was buttoning mine, pulling it down.
Wallowing in the sweet sensation, I kissed her neck intensely, sucking her sweet spot to hear her beautiful moan which she suppressed by biting her bottom lip.
My jaw clenched, roughly grabbing her wrist, “Don’t you dare to suppress your beautiful voice,”
She shivered, lifting her leg to brush it against my knee, enhancing my desires to gain more and more.
Her face crimson when my kiss grew desperate, trailing it everywhere, the taste of the skin made for me, all for me.
But as I moved to skin-on-skin, the silence in my mind didn't last.
A phantom vibration hummed in my mind, it felt like my own heart was buzzing. There was someone, ready to unshackle his tongue and shatter the pillars I managed to build with extreme efforts.
'The hero’s fee.' The words flashed. 'She’s a puppet'. My pace got uneven, my mind turned hazy, my senses no longer in control
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the bank balance dropping. I saw the look on her face when the truth would inevitably shatter her.
The warmth in my chest curdled into a cold desperation. The need to feel something other than fear took over.
My kisses lost their softness, becoming hard, demanding, almost punishing. I didn't just want her, I wanted to consume her, to use her body as an anchor to keep me from drifting into the abyss.
“Vi-Vince-” She paused, trying to pull back a little but mind refused to accept the slightest distance between us and kept her pinned.
“Shh. I am here. It’s okay,”
My grip on her wrists tightened, pinning them above her head as I pressed my weight down, my movements losing their grace and turning frantic.
Buzz.
My phone, discarded on the nightstand, lit up. Fuck. Even if it was a random notification, it was enough to rile me.
I didn't look. I couldn't. I shoved my face into the crook of her neck, my lip grazing her skin, my breath coming in harsh, uncontrollable growls.
I was drowning, and she was the only thing I could hold onto.
I pushed harder, my movements turning rougher, going in deeper, to the point her breaths and cries were all I cared and heard.
I was driven by a dark, suffocating panic that I needed to outrun and unintentionally took it out on her.
"Vince... wait," she gasped, her voice strained, struggling under me that made me tighten my grip, and go harder.
"Ah-! You are… You are hurting me."
I didn't stop. I couldn't hear her over the roar of the blood in my ears. I shifted, my fingers digging into her hips with a bruising force.
I shut my eyes, my mind a chaotic blur of things happening, my actions, my years of suffering, every pain.
It was spiraling, the heat became worse, it was no longer a desirable, heartwarming intimacy. It was a need to assert my dominance.
But, it couldn’t last long when Alyssa’s nail dug harder into my shoulder, causing it to bleed which shattered my blurry state.
"Vince! Stop!"
The sharp, broken sob pierced through the static, pulling me back to my senses as I gasped, noticing a trail of blood on my shoulder.
I looked down fretfully. Alyssa’s eyes were brimming with tears, her face flushed not with heat, but with genuine fear.
Her lip trembled, and the sight of her flinching away from me- from me… it was no less than a blade piercing me. My heartbeat enhanced to an uncontrollable level.
I scrambled back, breaths caught up in my throat, pulling away instantly from her in horror.
"Oh…" I choked out, my voice cracking. I looked at my trembling hands that became no less than a stranger to my own wife.
"Alyssa... I..."
“What is wrong with you, Vince?” She cried, tears rolling down while sitting up worriedly.
I reached out, but she shivered, and I immediately pulled back, my heart dropping. The predator was gone, replaced by a man paralyzed by his own reflection. I didn’t mean to hurt her.
"I'm-” I gulped, trying to maintain my posture.
“I am sorry. I am so, so sorry," I whispered, a sudden terror filled my voice.
I crawled back toward her, my movements trembling, desperate to undo the last sixty seconds.
"Please... I didn't mean... the stress, I just-"
I gathered her shaking form into my arms, burying my face in her shoulder, this time in shame rather than lust, holding her rigidly with no intention of letting go.
"I have got you. I am sorry. I am right here….”
“I know… but what happened? Why are you like this, Vince?” She asked distressfully.
“I am sorry… I would never... I would never truly hurt you."
But as I held her, feeling her heart settle against mine, my eyes drifted to the phone on the nightstand. The screen was dark now, but the threat remained.
I had almost broken the only thing worth saving.
I had to end this. Before I became the monster everyone thought I was.