Chapter 47 Getting Anxious
I woke up exactly three times that night.
My anger had bled into an unmanageable anxiety. I yelled at her. I had dismissed a bruise, a real, visible injury.
What the hell was wrong with me?
To end my sting, I woke up early, gathered all the servants along with my mother to settle this matter.
“What happened? Why did you call us?” Mama asked when we were in the library.
I had changed into my formal wear, hands resting my pockets with veins visible through my forearms, signalling my controlled wrath and impatience.
“What happened in my absence?” I demanded an answer strictly from the servants.
Maybe one of them dared to scare her and blamed it on my mother. I must reach the depths of it or else my soul won’t be at peace.
“What happened, son?”
“She showed me a bruise,” I stated, watching everyone closely, scanning their faces for the smallest flicker of guilt, shock, or realization.
Mama, in fact, simply blinked. Her expression remained steady.
“A bruise?”
“Yes,”
“Oh, dear. Where? Was she bumping into things? She was extremely agitated in the last few days.”
“It was on her forearm,” I pressed, feeling a cold heat rising in my throat.
“She claimed… she claimed you gave it to her. That you ordered the staff to humiliate her.” I confessed, uncaring of the reaction received from the staff.
“Vince, how could you even entertain that thought? After everything I did? The sleepless nights, the constant worry? I told you, she was hysterical.”
Mama let out a deep, sorrowful sigh, placing her hand over her heart, filling with disappointment.
“Maybe it is from depression. You should get her checked-”
“Alyssa was heartbroken, not insane. Do not accuse her of what she is not,” I warned her sternly.
“O-Okay, sorry,”
She was not mentally unstable, she was no longer feeling ‘safe’ with me and I must annihilate this thought.
“All of you,”
Snapping my finger dominantly, I got everyone’s attention, glaring at them to not await a worse outcome.
“Ye-Yes, Sir?”
“If I find out Alyssa is speaking the truth and you are hiding the truth. Consider it your farewell not only from this job but this city,”
My head maid stepped forth, “S-sir,”
“Hmm?”
“Mrs. Lysander strictly sent us back to our quarters at 6 P.M and we were allowed in the mansion till 6 A.M.” She spoke worriedly, hurriedly, keeping her eyes down.
I suspiciously glanced at Mama who scoffed, staying unbothered and back to her, gesturing to her to continue.
“Whatever happened in that period is to our ignorance. We don’t know anything. Please don’t fire us,”
“Go back.”
“Y-Yes,”
When they were gone, I stared at her for the next few seconds.
“What?”
“Please pray Alyssa is only lying.”
I indirectly gave her a dangerous threat because I didn’t know myself what I would do if she had truly caused her anguish.
I was losing my mind, my patience, I didn’t know what was happening to me myself. I was never like this before.
Her silence was piercing me, she was losing faith in me, I must not let that happen.
With this strain taking over me, I went to work, giving Alyssa some space which suffocated me when she didn’t attend my call.
‘Okay, maybe she is testing my patience,’ I thought impatiently, going home early with the determination to settle things.
Subsequently to redeem my actions, I called a servant to leave our dinner in our room when she was in the bathroom.
When she walked out in her adorable loose shirt and shorts, her eyes fell on the tray of food and back to my constant smile, pushing the tray slightly towards her.
“Welcome home,” I greeted sweetly.
Averting her eyes slowly, she muttered, “I am not hungry,”
I kept smiling, “You can at least sit with me, no?”
Sighing, she sat in the farthest corner, keeping her eyes lowered, lips formed in a thin line. My eyes glanced at her, unable to swallow a bite.
“Alyssa, listen, let’s talk about it, please?”
“What do you want to talk about where there is nothing?”
Closing the gap, towering over her unintentionally, I tried to make her understand as softly as possible.
“Alyssa, I trust you. You know I do. I just… I can’t reconcile your words with the woman I know. She has never been malicious,”
I tried again, my tone now pleading, tinged with confusion yet I hoped she would forgive me at least.
“Maybe she was strict? Maybe she didn’t understand your trauma? But cruel? Humiliating you? It is unthinkable.” I whispered, bringing my hand to hold hers and caress her for comfort.
“Then I am simply wrong. I am sorry, I won’t do it again,” She mumbled, pressing her teeth together to control herself while yanking her hand back
My jaw clenched, curling my hand in a powerless fist, I moved it back. It was getting extremely hard to control.
“Come on, don’t be like this,” I whined, hoping to settle the matter by talking it out or with some affection.
But, she was testing my non-existent patience now. Ignoring me, she simply got up to walk away but I couldn’t endure it anymore.
Hitting the headrest outrageously, I also rose from the seat.
“Enough,” I snapped.
I moved faster, grabbing her unharmed arm in a desperate, possessive grip. In a smooth spin, made her face me.
Our hands locked at her back, pressing her weight into me, hovering breathlessly over her shocked form, not daring to greet my eyes.
Using my other hand to wrap it around her neck, I lifted her chin, enough to make her stare forcefully, to witness my loss of control.
“You are going to look at me, and you are going to talk to me,” I demanded, burying my face in her hair, inhaling her scent, sensing her tremble.
“Tell me what you need, tell me what I can do. But stop treating me like I am the enemy. I am the only one here who cares about you,”
Nuzzling, I whispered, panting hopelessly, pouring all my need into my words while refusing to let her go as she struggled to free herself.
“Vince, you are scaring me, let go of me,”
“And you are hurting me,”
I shut my eyes desperately, shaking slightly at the level of detachment, pleading with her.
“V-Vince, please,”
“You stop it, Alyssa,”
Whimpering, she lost her composure too, pushing me back, “Enough!”
Fallen on the bed, I was dragged into the reality, my eyes snapped open as the shame of actions rapidly struck me, overwhelming me with guilt.
“I-I am sorry, I-I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Extending my hand out to her, she flinched, steps retreating, rejecting further confrontation with me.
“A-Alyssa, listen, A-”
Giving me a frightened look, she held the wrist I held close to her chest as if ‘I’ would hurt her too and before I could justify my unforeseen possessiveness, she ran out of the room.