Chapter 112 Seeking Comfort

Chapter 112 Seeking Comfort
When I opened my eyes, I found myself back in the hotel room and for a moment, I thought it was all a nightmare due to my rising fever.

“Argh…” I groaned in my pain only to find a soft murmur.

“You're burning up… rest.”

I slowly opened my eyes and found Vince sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“Vince…”

The second my hand twitched, his fingers wrapped carefully around mine.

“Alyssa,” he whispered, trying to force hopes in his tone. 

“How do you feel?”

I closed my eyes once again.

And the moments before I collapsed flashed before my mind causing the breaths to strangle in my throat.

My last words to my Father.

His accident.

His final moments.

The apology I wanted all my life–I got it… just not in the way I had imagined.

“He…”

A sob caught in my throat, tears taking my sight. I looked at Vince, still trying to confirm what I already knew.

“He's really gone, isn't he?”

Vince was silent for a moment. Probably to cover my pain with another lie but soon loosened his shoulders in defeat.

“Yes.”

He couldn’t lie about what my mind had already accepted.

Slowly, he gently pulled me up by my shoulders, letting me lean my forehead against his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Alyssa, but he is truly gone.”

“My last words….” 

Tears began to refill, my body began to tremble when the realization of what I had said to him dropped.

“I told him I hated him,” I choked out, my tears instantly soaking into his shirt. 

“... I told him I hoped no child ever got a parent like him... Why did I say that, Vince?” 

I looked up at him desperately.

“Why did I let him leave like that when he came for me?”

“Shh, listen to me,”

Vince began, his hand cupping the back of my neck, holding me securely against him. 

“You were hurting. You didn't know he was going to die. He threw you out… your anger was valid.” 

He tried to reason, pressing his thumb firmly into my cheek.

“He didn't die thinking you hated him, Alyssa. He heard you forgive him, even after he neglected you.”

“But– but–”

“You're the bigger person here.”

“Still it hurts… it hurts so much, Vince.” 

I looked up at him through the tears and anguish, my fists clutching his sleeves. 

“Everything feels completely empty… who am I going to hate now?”

His eyes went over me, observing my miserable form for a minute before giving me a weak smile.

“Me.” 

For a moment, I froze, unsure what to do or how to react. His forehead slowly rested upon mine.

“Hate me while you are mourning.” he mumbled.

His chest rising and falling against mine as he rocked me slightly and surprisingly, I swayed along.

“I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, Alyssa… take it out on me.” 

I closed my eyes in defeat, the fever taking over my strength as I remained like that until my body recovered.

An hour later, after I was feeling better, I knew I had to confront that truth.

“I want to see him, Vince. For the last time.”

He did not ask further and took me to my childhood home.

The gates I hated, the place left with the intention to never return here ever again felt entirely different now.

Hollow, stripped of the imposing weight they used to hold. 

“Are you sure?” Vince asked, noticing the cars and people coming and going for condolence.

“Yes.” I nodded, clutching his hand in mine as Vince walked me to the front door.

“Oh Alyssa…”

“Poor soul.”

“May your father rest in peace.” People passing by began to pay respects the moment I was out of the car.

I could only lower my gaze in grief, unable to form a proper reply.

“Let her see him first.” Vince spoke in my stead, his hand firmly supporting my waist while guiding me inside.

My mother was sitting on the sofa in the living room, staring blankly at the casket.

Her eyes were red, her usual perfectly manicured posture completely shattered. 

When she heard my footsteps, she looked up, her lips trembling.

“Alyssa…” she breathed, standing up shakily. 

I crossed the room, my knees trembling, and threw my arms around her neck.

“Alyssa, look, I.. I sent him after you… to bring you home and he… he didn’t return…”

Mother caught me instantly, burying her face into my shoulder as her composure broke completely along with mine.

“How could he do this to me?!” She sobbed wretchedly, clinging onto me with all her might, her tears soaking my neck.

“I'm so sorry, Alyssa,” she wept.

Her arms wrapped around me with a desperate, crushing strength she had never shown before. 

….She was always so cold and unmovable beside her husband.

“I am so, so sorry. We were so wrong.”

“Mama,” I cried out as I clung to her fabric. 

“He’s gone. Papa is really gone.”

“I know, my baby, I know,” 

Her hands frantically stroked my hair, pulling me closer into the couch as we fell together but she refused to release me.

“I’m here. I’m not letting you go too. I am so sorry but please don’t leave me too…”

“I won’t. I would never….” I kissed her hands, unable to suppress the tears streaming down my face.

For the first time in my life, the cold exterior of the Whitlock house vanished. 

The expectations. The coldness. The distances.

Everything had died along with the man who built them.

“Don’t go, Alyssa. Please, I beg of you… stay.” 

I kept her encased in my arms, kissing the top of her head while giving Vince a glance.

“I am not going anywhere, Mama… I am here.” 

A sign that I would stay and won’t leave my mother miserable.

Vince nodded in return and came closer.

“I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Whitlock.”

“It’s all my fault…” She pulled back, hanging her head low in gloom. 

“I sent him after Alyssa to bring my daughter back…” 

Vince glanced at me before it turned back to her.

“It’s nobody’s fault.” He enunciated but I knew these words were indicated to me.

“His time was written… nothing could have prevented what was written in fate.” 

We looked at him for a moment before lowering our heads and keeping each other close to seek comfort we never did before…