Chapter 251
“And,” Simon said, raising his voice a little, loftily ignoring Scooter, “I do not wish my first act as parent to be to throw over everything that was of value to my daughter’s mother. If you can agree to a few reasonable requests, I will not challenge you for primary custody.”
Andy had to blink in surprise for a moment, and replay the words in his head until they made sense. “…Go on.”
“One weekend a month. I will arrange my schedule, that we might do…whatever father and daughter things are. I admit, I don’t know what those might be yet. My own father was somewhat less than nurturing, until he realized Mark would not provide an heir. At which point I was quite a bit older than Billie is now.” Simon paused as if to marshal his words. “Two weeks in the summer. They need not be consecutive. Alternating Christmases, or perhaps the families might merge for the holidays, if you wish it. And one Wednesday per month. My father…we have family dinner every Wednesday. In thirty years, I think I have only missed two. I should like Billie to get to know the rest of her extended family.”
That sounded…extremely reasonable, actually. Far, far more reasonable than what Andy and Scooter had feared when they’d discussed it. Much less than they had agreed they would willingly—if grudgingly—concede. He looked over and saw that same stunned look on Scooter’s face. “I think that’s…acceptable?” He cocked his head at Scooter.
“Yeah, I…yeah,” Scooter stammered, then, perhaps stupidly, added, “Why?”
“Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with my line of work,” Simon said. “You have a restaurant, and you know the occasional unruly customer. I own bars. I live above one. It is no place for a child to grow up. I should know. I did it. You have pets. And a wide social circle. These are things I believe would be best for her to have in abundance. If she remains primarily in your care as well, it will limit my father’s access to her, and that is best, I believe, for everyone involved. Especially her.”
Andy knew something about fathers who shouldn’t be allowed near children. “If there’s danger to her,” he said, reminding himself it was a library, that he couldn’t yell, “we can’t in good faith allow her to see him at all.”
Simon blinked several times, slow, like he was a cat, leaning back in his chair. His entire body language changed. The man was uncanny. “Only in danger of being bored to death, or perhaps given a stock portfolio and told to make something of it. Father is peculiar and overbearing, but the greatest danger he presents to her is stepping on her foot because he cannot see around his ridiculous beard.”
Andy grimaced inwardly; he really should learn to stop jumping straight to an assumption of abuse. Of course Simon wouldn’t willingly put Billie in the path of someone like Andy’s own father. Simon was an ass, but not thatmuch of a dick. “Right. Okay.” He shook his head, clearing it, then scrubbed at his face. “That all sounds…reasonable. Um. As guardians of record, you’ll need to inform us if you want to travel with her at all. We will keep you informed if we go anywhere as well.” He tried to remember all the points they’d gone over with Jess.
“Generally acting like a responsible adult,” Simon said. “I believe that can be arranged on my side.”
Scooter muttered something in Ukrainian, quick and choppy, like dicing onions. Andy didn’t catch all of it, but he had to turn a laugh into a cough, because he was pretty sure Scooter had just called Simon an annoying cabbage.
“All right then,” Andy said. “We seem to be in agreement. We’ll get our legal people to draw up something official to sign. The summer’s still got a while to run; do you know when you want your two weeks, or do you want to contact us later?”
Simon took a deep breath and blew it out. By the time he’d finished, he looked a lot more human. “First I have to survive telling my parents I impregnated Mary-Alice a number of years ago. I’ll let you know how long I must recover from this.”
“You haven’t—” Andy shook his head quickly. “Huh. Okay.”
“With my father, it is best to present a project to completion before one involves him,” Simon said. “Should I have gone to him when the custody was still in flux, I should, at the very least, be forced to listen to a recital of everything I have done wrong on every occasion in which it crossed his mind. At least in this case, I shall only have to grant that audience once.”
“Well, it’s your dad,” Andy said, “you know how to deal with him best.”
Billie came out of the story-hour room among a group of kids. She stared around and then spotted them. Rather than going to the tables like she was supposed to, she stalked over to them and gave three grown men a horrific scowl. Her arms were stiff at her sides and her fists balled. “How dare you! All of you, standing around, deciding my future?” She pulled her head up in a haughty angle. “I am not a prize to be won!”
Andy burst into laughter, ignoring Scooter’s increasingly unsubtle elbows and Simon’s surprised and affronted look. “Oh my God, buttercup!” he cackled. A librarian gave them a stern look and he clapped both hands over his mouth in an effort to stifle his hilarity.