Chapter 8—Hannah

“Daddy!” Kennedy squealed and jumped into his waiting arms the moment she entered the house.

Ryan hugged his daughter and laughed. “I’ve missed you so much, kiddo.”

She kissed his cheek and released him. “Wow. This place looks amazing.” She walked around the room inspecting the decorations.

“All the credit for that goes to Hannah.” He glanced at me and winked. “She did a great job.”

“I still can’t believe you’re having a party.” Kennedy laughed. “But.” She shrugged. “Any reason to go shopping, right?” She met my gaze. “Please tell me you don’t have a costume yet.”

“I do.” I laughed. “But I’ll never tell you no about shopping.”

“Then let’s go.”

“Wait. You just got home. You’re leaving again already?” Ryan said.

Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Halloween is tomorrow. I’ll be lucky to find a costume at all let alone a good one. There’s no time to waste.” She looped her arm through mine and led me out to her car. “This is why I don’t visit often.” She got into her car, laughing. “I’m getting spoiled to being able to do what I want when I want without anyone questioning me.”

I smiled and hooked my seatbelt.

“So, how did it go when you told him?”

Taking a deep breath, I dove into the entire story, leaving out any mention of kissing and having her father’s cock in my hand. I was positive she wouldn’t appreciate that.

“See? I told you he’d understand.” She gave me an encouraging smile.

“Okay, so what’s been going on at school?” The last thing I wanted to talk about was her dad, or my current predicament. I still had no idea what I was going to do.

###

Saturday night rolled around, and I was in no mood to party. Ryan had been avoiding me, only being near me when Kennedy was around. She’d become his buffer, and I hadn’t had a moment alone with him since she’d gotten home. And now there was a house full of people downstairs.

“Hey, you coming down or what?” Kennedy peeked her head into my room. The large fruit hat sat precariously atop her head, and she looked ridiculous.

I laughed. There hadn’t been many costumes left, so her choices were limited. She’d ended up getting a tight, short, gaudy-colored floral dress and one of those hats stacked with fake fruit. “Yeah, I’ll be down in a sec.”

She adjusted her hat, muttered a curse, then left. I laughed again. The costume was stupid, but Kennedy somehow managed to pull it off. I sighed and glanced around my room. Was my desire for Ryan worth risking all of this? Kennedy was like my sister, and this place was home. If I kept pursuing Ryan, or we got together, and things ended badly…there was so much that could go wrong. But the heart wanted what the heart wanted, right?

I flopped down on the bed. Maybe I should just get in my car and leave. I had no idea where I’d go, but I could live in my car for a while. Get a job. Start over. Or… I could make one more attempt with Ryan. If he rejected me again, I’d leave. Resolved with my new plan, I stood. But before I could bring myself to go downstairs, there was a knock on the door.

“Hannah?” Ryan opened the door but didn’t enter.

When I saw his costume, I couldn’t speak. All the breath rushed from my body as I took in the sight of Ryan in skintight blue jeans slung low on his hips, oversized belt buckle, chaps, cowboy boots, and a black Stetson. His flannel shirt was rolled up to his elbows and the first few buttons were undone, giving me a visual tease of his chest.

“What the hell is that?” He nodded at me, his gaze roaming down my body.

I held my arms out and spun around slowly. “It’s my costume. I’m a hippie flower child.”

He narrowed his eyes, and the muscle in his jaw ticked. “What did I say about making sure you’re covered while I’m in this house?”

“I am covered.” I crossed my arms, refusing to back down. There was nothing wrong with this costume—or his reaction to seeing me in it, which was impossible not to notice in those jeans. I bit back a smile.

“Barely,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Well, it’s the only costume I have, and I’m not changing.”

“The hell you aren’t.” His nostrils flared with anger, and his muscular frame filled the doorway, blocking my only escape.

“Fine.” I stepped up to him, putting us chest to chest. “If you want me to change, then you’re going to have to come in here and take this dress off me.”

We stood face to face, neither of us speaking. Sexual tension sizzled between us, and I waited for him to snap, to shove me into the room, slam the door, and finally give in to whatever this was. But he remained frozen in place, and I realized he wasn’t going to crack.

“That’s what I thought,” I said, fighting to keep the disappointment from my voice. I shoved past him and headed downstairs. The kitchen was full of guests. When I entered, Jace rushed toward me.

“Hannah, right?”

“Yeah…you’re Ryan’s friend, right?” I remembered him from the night I’d arrived. Tonight, though, he wore a nun’s costume. I laughed. “Nice costume.”

“Thanks.” He spun around. “I wear it well, don’t you think?”

“You’re gorgeous.” I liked Jace immediately.

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Jace held me out at arm’s length and whistled.

At that moment, Ryan walked in. “Stop hitting on her, man. She’s barely legal.” He gave Jace a dirty look. “And you’re old enough to be her father.”

I rolled my eyes and excused myself. I usually loved parties, but my heart wasn’t into it tonight. Still, I played the part of gracious hostess for the first couple of hours, mostly to distract myself. But then my feet started to hurt, so I sat in the armchair in the corner of the living room, sipping a wine cooler. Kennedy was chatting with two girls I’d met once before—Corrine and Heather—and if I remembered correctly, they were both dating older men. Ryan was near the fireplace, chatting and laughing with some redhead. I glared at them. She continually touched his arm and leaned closer, clearly giving him all the signs that she was ready for whatever he was willing to offer. Red hot jealousy seeped through my pores, and my hold on the bottle tightened.

“Hannah, right?” A tall, dark brown-haired guy sat on the arm of the chair. “Nathan.” He pointed at himself.

Right. Darian’s son. Ryan had mentioned him in passing. “Hey, Nathan.” I smiled. “Having fun?”

He shrugged. “Lots of work talk.”

I laughed “Yeah, that is kind of boring, isn’t it?” I stood and held out my hand. “I have some video games in my room.” At this point, watching paint dry would’ve been better than watching Ryan try to hook up with that woman.

His face lit up with a huge grin as he took my hand. “Lead the way.”

I made a detour to Kennedy and the girls. “We’re ditching the party to go play video games. Want to come?”

Kennedy glanced around the room then at the two girls. “No, I think I’m going to hang out down here.” Her eyes sparkled. “But you two have fun.”

My jaw dropped at her not-so-subtle implication. I shook my head but didn’t bother responding. I made it a point to walk past Ryan, giving him a knowing smirk. We barely made it up the first few steps when Ryan’s brusque voice silenced the room “Hey. Party stays down here, kids.”

Kids? Is he fucking serious? The tips of my ears burned hot with anger. I counted to five then slowly turned around, my gaze landing on his. “Fine,” I bit out. Glancing at Nathan over my shoulder, I said, “Have you been inside the photo booth yet?”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed into slits, and he pinned me with a heated stare, arms crossed. I marched toward him. “I’m not a child, Dad.” Then I spun on my heel and sauntered into the kitchen, giving my hips an added sway for his benefit.

“Whoa. Ryan’s intense,” Nathan said. “And I thought my dad was bad.” He laughed.

Ignoring him, I grabbed a beer, twisted off the top, and proceeded to drain half the bottle before it was removed from my hand. “Hey, I—”

Ryan was beside me, hand firmly clutching my elbow. “We need to talk.” He escorted me out the back door and onto the enclosed porch. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Were you seriously taking Nathan up to your room?” He crossed his arms again.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was.” I mimicked his stance. “But contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t planning on fucking him, Ryan.” He flinched. Good. “We were going to play video games. That’s it.”

He snorted as if he didn’t believe me. And frankly, I didn’t give a shit.

“But thanks for thinking I’m a slut and embarrassing me in front of everyone.” My tone was bitter. “It’s been one hell of a party.” I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from crying.

“You know damn well I don’t think you’re a slut.”

“No?” I raised a brow. “What other reason did you have to yell at me in there then?”

“Shit.” He blew out a breath and dropped his hands to his sides. “He’s the son of a very important business associate. It didn’t look right, okay?”

I raised a brow. What a load of crap.

“C’mon, Hannah. You have to know how…good you look in that costume. He’s a guy. He was going to try something.”

“So now it’s your job to protect my virtue?” I snorted. “Hate to tell you, but that ship has sailed.”

“I’m not stupid.” He took a step closer. “I know you’re not a virgin, but that doesn’t mean you need to give it up to every guy who’s nice to you.”

“Are you serious right now?” I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not out giving it up to every guy.” I shook my head. “You’re such an asshole.” I shoved past him, but he grabbed my wrist.

“Hannah, I’m sorry.” He removed his hat and tossed it on the wicker chair. “I didn’t mean… Look, I’m fumbling here, okay? There’s this huge-ass line I know I can’t cross, but every day you’re here, I get closer and closer to doing just that. And when I saw you leading him upstairs…” He released my wrist and dragged his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

I rubbed the feel of his touch from my skin, wishing he’d put his hands elsewhere. I knew he wanted me. I could see it when he looked at me, could hear it when he said my name, and I could feel it when he touched me, even innocently. “So, do you want me to leave?”

“What?” he asked, shocked. “No, of course not.”

“Good.” Without giving him the chance to say anything else, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body to his. And then I slanted my lips over his, coaxing his mouth open with my tongue. His reaction was instantaneous. He grabbed my hips and jerked me closer, leaving no room between us as he kissed me like a man starved. There was so much passion and desire packed into this kiss. My head spun, and I moaned, never wanting this to end.

“Honey, please.” He broke the kiss and cradled my face in his hands, his forehead resting against mine. “Please don’t make me say no to you again.”

“Then say yes,” I whispered, licking my tingling lips.

“I can’t. You know I can’t.” His tone was steady, but his words were strangled, almost tortured.

My stomach sank. “You can. You just don’t want to.” I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest, biting the inside of my cheek again to stop from crying. What I didn’t understand was why. So what if he was my best friend’s father? We weren’t related, and it’s not like we were that close. And I didn’t give a shit what he said—that kiss didn’t lie. He wanted me.

“Hannah.” He frowned.

“Don’t.” My lips trembled, and I blew out a breath, not wanting him to see just how badly his rejection stung. We were silent for a few moments, and I was losing the battle against my tears. “You should get back inside to your friends.”

He nodded and snatched his hat from the chair. “You coming?”

I shook my head. “I need some air.”

Ryan hesitated, his gaze pleading for me to understand. Then, he turned and headed inside. I dropped my arms and flexed my fingers, but the uneasy tingling in my body only intensified. I paced the enclosed porch, but the small space was suffocating me, so I opened the creaky screen door and stepped into the yard. The wind whipped my hair around my face, and a light dusting of snow swirled through the air. Hugging myself, I ventured further into the yard, not caring that it was pitch black or that I couldn’t see more than two feet in front of me. I was on a mission to put as much distance between me and Ryan as possible.

The swing set Kennedy and I played on as kids loomed in front of me. My breath hitched, and the first tear rolled down my cheek. I sat on the swing and pushed off the ground. The air was frigid as it blew over my bare legs, but I didn’t care. I pumped my legs harder, and I swung higher and higher until I was sure I could reach the stars. Holding tightly to the chains, I leaned back and closed my eyes, letting my tears fall freely, praying the night would swallow me whole.

When the swing started to slow, I would pump faster, unable to handle being still. Right after my mother kicked me out, I came here and swung for hours—Kennedy came out to swing with me, both of us silent. She knew I hadn’t wanted to talk, so she was just here with me. And when she’d gone inside, Ryan had come out and taken her place.

My body thrummed to life at the thought of him, at the lingering feel of his lips and hands on me. What was it going to take for him to realize how great we could be together?

“Hannah?” Kennedy’s voice carried across the backyard.

I finally slowed the swing and dragged my feet on the ground to stop. “Nathan invited us to go out for some pizza and hang out. Want to come along?”

I should. It would be best if I just got out of this house, but I wasn’t in any mood to be social. “No, I don’t think so.”

With a heavy sigh, Kennedy sat on the other swing. “You can’t hide forever, Hannah. What happened at school…what Brendan did to you… It’s not your fault.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“You have to get out there again, meet new people. Not all guys are assholes like Brendan.”

At that, I laughed. “I know, but I’m just not feeling it tonight. I promise we’ll go out together soon, though, okay?”

“Okay.” Her tone was resigned. She stood. “You should head inside. It’s freezing out here.” Then she did just that, leaving me alone once again.

My tears had stopped, but my heart still ached. My nose was ice cold, and I couldn’t feel my toes. And I was pretty sure my tears had frozen on my lashes. The snow had picked up, and there was a thin blanket of white covering the back yard. I had no idea how long I’d been out here, or what time it was, but I was frozen to my core, and I couldn’t stay out here any longer. Like it or not, I had to go back inside and face Ryan.