Chapter 64 The Rubicon
CHAPTER 64: The Rubicon
Silas
A harsh, discordant laugh tore from my throat, the sound echoing hollowly against the marble of the living room as I regarded my brother with a mocking smirk.
“Love?”
I let the word hang in the air for a second before I erupted in another harsh, jagged laugh that didn't reach my blazing eyes.
“Don't you think you're reaching a bit too far?”
He cocked his head to the side, an amused smile on his lips. “Am I?”
“You’ve finally lost your mind, brother. Truly.” The amusement vanished from my face. “The idea is as absurd as it is insulting to my intelligence,” I spat, the word tasting like ash in my mouth.
“Is it?” Chauncey asked, his voice steady, and the amusement still playing on his lips, refusing to be rattled by my apparent annoyance. “Because you're acting like a man fighting his own demons, Silas, not a man seeking justice.”
“I am acting like a Rutherford,” I snapped, my eyes narrowing. “I am managing a liability, not courting romance,” I sneered. “Don't mistake containment for affection.”
“You could have contained her in a cell,” he countered. “Instead, you've made your bed the fitting containment. There's a difference.”
“I don't suppose having her take the floor would have made you shut up. Not that I care.”
Chauncey rolled his eyes.
“She’s a beautiful woman, Silas. Even you can't be that blind.”
Of course she was beautiful.
But even admitting that now, would be a betrayal to Simone.
“What she looks like is irrelevant,” I growled, taking a predatory step toward him. “It’s a mask that she uses to hide her true face… a killer. Or have you forgotten why she’s here?”
“My memory still works fine, brother. But I see what you desperately try to bury.”
“Then you’re seeing ghosts, little brother. I look at her and I see a debt. That is all.”
He looked at me for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face.
“You’re lying to yourself, Silas. Okay. Let's say, Vera didn’t have the past that she did, would you let yourself fall in love with her?”
Would I ever give love another chance? Never. The pain of loss was something I would never sign myself up for, ever.
Would I ever fall in love with Vera if the circumstances were different?
That was a question that even I couldn't answer for myself…strangely.
“I don’t ‘do’ love, Chauncey. Especially not with a woman like her. You're free to try again since the notion pleases you so much.”
He didn't rise to the bait.
He actually laughed.
“Then why does it bother you so much that I even suggested it?”
“It irks me because it's a stupid, sentimental delusion that wastes my time.”
My body reacted to her…craved her. But it has nothing to do with my heart.
“You're shaking, brother. Is that rage or fear?”
“It's irritation at having to have this stupid back and forth,” I hissed. “Don't you have some weird images and shit to paint?
He smirked. The cheeky bastard was enjoying this.
He rubbed his jaw, a huge teeth baring grin on his face.
“Having a cozy conversation with my dear older brother seems more rewarding.”
I ground my teeth.
“You cheeky bastard.”
“You know, Claud called me a whore the other day,” he revealed, rubbing his jaw. “We sure have a weird manner of complimenting ourselves, don't we?” He grinned.
I glared daggers at him.
He put his palms up in surrender. “Alright, fine. I'd get serious now.” He sighed softly. “You can't hide behind the business and your rage forever.”
My eyes flashed dangerously.
“I’m not hiding. I'm being practical.”
“You've always said she was 'a means to an end.' But she's a person. And I think you're starting to notice that and it unsettles you. It's emotional. And you're terrified of it.”
“I am terrified of nothing. Certainly not a woman like her.”
He took a minute to absorb what I said. Then he sighed.
“Okay, brother. I won't interfere anymore. But I hope you don't become something you're not because of your anger, because I won't just stand by and watch.” His tone got more serious. “I will stop you, even from yourself.”
Silence ensued.
“Goodnight.”
I didn't wait for him to respond. I turned on my heel and climbed up the stairs, my blood boiling with a volatile mix of indignation and a strange uncertainty.
I got to the bedroom, but found it empty.
I paced the length of the rug, my mind snarling at the suggestion that I could feel anything beyond a primal, physical desire for her body.
I had given Lily the money because I am a man of my word. It was an act of cold logic, a validation of my own integrity, and nothing more.
Not because Vera had asked for it.
Needing to wash the day’s grime and my brother's poisonous words from my skin, I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the bathroom, letting the needles of hot water beat a rhythmic penance against my shoulders.
Vera’s pov
My heart was beating frantically in my chest, thudding wildly against my ribs as I pushed open the door to our bedroom, my nerves frayed to the point of snapping.
Lily had not even noticed when I left her room as she was still too engrossed in her packing.
I had come to a decision.
Coming into the room, I half hoped and expected to be confronted with the weight of his gaze, but the room was vacant, the only sound being the distant, muffled roar of the shower running behind the frosted glass door.
I sat stiffly on the edge of bed, poised to await his exit. But almost immediately, the silence gave me a moment to breathe, but it also gave me a moment to doubt. To develop a cold feet.
I decided I couldn't wait; if I sat still in the silence for longer, I would lose my nerve, so I stood.
With trembling fingers, I shed my clothes, mechanically, the fabric pooling at my feet like a discarded skin.
I stood before the full-length mirror, my breath hitching as I surveyed the changes I had not stopped to fully absorb.
The evidence of the budding life I carried.
My belly was no longer the flat plane it once was. It was curved now, with a slight, unmistakable swell and my breasts felt heavy and aching, my hips wider and fuller than they had been weeks ago.
I blinked a couple of times, my lip caught between my teeth.
Would Silas still want me like this? Plumping with another man’s child?
The thought was a whisper of terror, but I swallowed it down.
With one last stare in the mirror, I walked toward the bathroom and opened the door.
The air was thick with steam and the scent of his expensive soap.
I shut the door softly and moved closer.
Silas was facing the wall, his back turned to me, the powerful muscles of his shoulders tense as the water cascaded down the rugged landscape of his spine.
My breath caught lightly in my throat.
He was beautiful.
He looked like a god carved from granite…breathtaking and terrifying in his sheer power.
Something hot and reckless ran through me.
Before I could think, I stepped into the spray and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against the wet heat of his back…hugging him with a desperate, silent surrender.
I felt him tense instantly, the water drumming against us both as the world came to a sudden, absolute pause.