Chapter 53 At what cost?
CHAPTER 53: At what cost?
Silas
The knock came again… shorter, hesitant.
“What is it?” I barked, my voice a jagged edge cutting through the tension of the room and the heavy oak door.
My heart hammered frantically with a rhythmic pulse against my ribs, a lingering echo of the heated dream I was just waking from.
“Sir…I... I just want to tidy the room,” the maid’s voice wavered, thin and startled. “It's time for—”
“Get out,” I barked, the bile of my own self-loathing rising in my throat.
I looked down at the desk. It was scattered with the half filled glass of water, the packet of pills I had taken last night after a migraine, the open laptop and some documents I had been working on before drifting asleep.
I ground my teeth tightly, as a feeling of deep disgust vibrated inside me.
“Get out. Return later when I am gone.”
I didn't have to repeat myself. I heard the frantic retreat of her footsteps, but the silence that followed offered no reprieve.
I stood in the center of the room, my knuckles white as I gripped the edge of the mahogany desk.
A lot of things were happening out of character. I was a man who prided himself on absolute, cold-blooded control, in every aspect of my life, even when I was with Simone. Yet here I was…unraveling, spiraling, and physically betrayed by a pathetic, primal craving for my wife’s killer.
To want Vera was a betrayal to Simone and her memory; and to dream of her in that way was a weakness that made me want to flay the very skin from my own bones.
I moved through the halls with a purpose…the desperate need to scrub the evidence of my vulnerability away.
The day was just beginning to open its sleepy eyes, and the staff offered their greetings deferentially while discharging their duties.
When I entered the master bedroom, the morning light was beginning to bleed through the curtains, illuminating Vera’s sleeping form under the silk sheets.
I froze.
She laid there, the curves of her body mimicking the positions from the filth my mind had just conjured…triggering a violent flash of heat that I suppressed with a snarl.
My jaw tightened until it ached.
I ignored her, and headed straight for the bathroom. Behind the closed door of the washroom, I immediately shed my soiled clothes as if they were a second skin I needed to burn.
When I stepped under the cold shower, the icy needles of water stung my fevered skin, but my body was a traitor…It didn't care about my logic or my grief; it still pulsed with the memory of her.
A certain part of my anatomy reacted fiercely, the need for release growing intensely.
I was forced to relieve myself there, in the cold shower, working myself up by thinking of the images from the intense dream until I came heavily in my hands, splashing across the walls as I growled Vera’s name into the cold bathroom.
The bitter, mechanical act left me feeling more hollow and dangerous than when I had started.
When I stepped back into the bedroom, a towel wrapped low around my waist, I was a live wire.
I stopped dead when I saw her.
Vera was awake now, sitting at the edge of the bed. Her hands were trembling, wringing together in her lap in a frantic, rhythmic motion.
I headed to the closet, determined to ignore her.
“Silas,” she whispered. Her voice was timid, searching…hesitant, and it grated on my nerves like sandpaper.
I stopped.
“May I have a word with you.”
I looked at her, noting with a sharp pang of resentment how different she was from the ‘Vera’ who had burned and arched beneath me in my sleep.
This Vera was shrouded in nerves and a heavy, suffocating fear.
I pinned her a gaze so intense she couldn't look away.
Still her eyes remained on my face, not once straying below.
“And what could you possibly have to say to me that would be of even the slightest interest to me?” I sneered, the words dripping with a disdain I used as armor.
Vera hesitated, her lips trembling. “I... I—it's—”
“That's enough,” I snapped. “Spit it out or get out of my face.”
She got more nervous, and desperate.
“I need to ask you for something. Something important.”
I scoffed.
“I’m listening,” I said, though my mind was screaming at me to turn away, to head to the closet…to escape the pull of her.
I made a move toward the dressing room, my gait stiff.
“I need some money, please?” she blurted out.
I stopped dead.
The words hit me with a force that turned my blood to ice and then back to liquid blazing fire.
How dare she?
I turned to her, my eyes narrowing as I took a slow, menacing step toward the bed.
I chuckled, darkly, the sound dropping the temperature in the room.
“Money?” I repeated, my voice a low, dangerous hum. “So, the snake finally sheds its skin. You finally show your true colors.”
She shook her head frantically, her eyes widening with fright.
“No it's not like that!”she cried, her voice cracking as she looked up at me. “I’m not like that, Silas. Believe me!”
“Believe you?” I scoffed. “Are fucking kidding me?” I barked, the sound bouncing off the walls. “I paid you five million dollars not so long ago, Vera. You handed every cent of it to your ex-boyfriend to bury your sordid secret.”
“It's not about that—”
“You threw my money into the gutter with that leech, and now you have the audacity to stand in my presence and ask for more? For what? Your boyfriend asking for more payoff?”
“No. It's not true,” she insisted, her desperation mounting as she moved into my space. “The money... it isn’t for me. It’s for Lily. She has this school thing…this graduation trip to Tulum. She’s looked forward to it for a long time.”
“Are you done?” I sneered, looking down at her. “You think I care about a teenager's vacation while we’re living in the hell of your own making?”
“Please,” she pleaded, her eyes heavy with a passion that made my blood heat for all the wrong reasons. "She has nothing to do with this.”
“You are not getting another dime from me, Vera," I hissed, leaning down until our faces were inches apart. “Not unless it is stated in our agreement. Our transaction is balanced for now. I am not a charity for a murderous wife.”
Disappointment washed over her face, making her look even more fragile, but she didn't back down.
She looked me in the eye, the silk of her lingerie shifting over her chest as she took a shaky breath.
“I’m begging you, Silas. Please. I'll do anything. Just tell me what it takes. I don’t want to disappoint Lily.”
I felt the stirrings of desire again, a dark, heavy weight in my gut as I looked at her parted lips. The dream was screaming in my ears, mocking my self-control.
“Anything?” I rasped, my gaze dropping to the pulse hammering in her throat. “That’s a very dangerous word to use with me, Vera.”
She shook her head. “No, I mean it.”
“You want my money? Tell me... what exactly are you willing to give me in return?”