Chapter 20 Did I just grab his…?
CHAPTER 20: Did I just grab his…?
Vera
The mattress felt… wrong.
It wasn't in a negative way…far from it.
It was strangely comfortable…just contradictory. It was soft and firm at the same time. And also warm in places that weren't normal for mattresses.
Half-asleep, I shifted, trying to settle deeper into the comfort that had me moaning in satisfaction. I dragged my body closer and deeper as it felt solid and grounding.
Then I heard it.
A sound.
Low. Rough. Almost strangled.
The mattress made sounds too?
My brow creased faintly, still drifting somewhere between sleep and waking suspicion. I suddenly became aware of something hard poking uncomfortably against my lower stomach.
I adjusted and heard that sound again.
My hand moved without thought, trying to find the source of my discomfort.
With my eyes still closed in sleep, my drowsy hand moved beneath me, and then…
Everything inside me seized.
The realization hit like ice water…every trace of sleep vanished.
My breath caught violently in my throat as my mind snapped fully awake immediately, the horror crashing into me in intense waves.
The warmth. The shape. The unmistakable tension and pulsing beneath my palm.
What I had in my hand was…
Did I just grab his…?
Silas.
Oh God.
Mortified, I yanked my hand back instantly, my heart slamming so hard I thought it might actually burst through my chest.
The sound of his harsh intake of breath and deep breathing filled the room.
He was awake.
Of course he was.
He was awake and witnessed me assaulting him. Barely a day old in this marriage.
I dared not open my eyes. I stayed perfectly still, eyes squeezed shut, as if pretending to be asleep and not seeing him might somehow undo what I’d just done.
Another sharp intake of breath.
That was when I realised that I was still splayed over him. His body was rigid beneath me, every muscle locked at once. Then his chest rose and fell harder now, breath rough and controlled like he was restraining something far more dangerous than irritation.
I felt him poking me beneath again. Fully.
Awash with shame, I wanted to pry myself off him, but I couldn't do that without exposing myself. I was practically sprawled on top of him, my leg tangled with his, my arm draped across his torso, my face grazing his neck.
At what point last night had I attacked him?
I had even grabbed him down there.
Suddenly, firm hands gripped my waist, not rough, but unmistakably tense, and pried me off him with very obvious and careful restraint.
He knew I was awake, so I opened my eyes. I could barely look him in the face, so I resorted to looking at the sheets like there was something spectacular about it.
“I—I’m so sorry,” I whispered, mortification flooding my veins. “I didn’t mean to…I was asleep, I didn’t realize…”
That was how far I could go before shame and tension closed up my throat.
He didn’t answer, instead, he got up from the bed. I dared to raise my gaze in his direction to see his expression,
Then I wished I hadn't.
He was already looking at me, and his expression was carved from stone.
I didn’t know that his eyes could grow darker than they were. His jaw was clenched so tight a muscle ticked near his temple. His lips pressed into a hard line, his gaze fixed straight at me, an unreadable look in his eyes.
I fisted the sheets tightly.
“I…I really didn't mean to—”
Without a word, he turned his face away from me as if looking at me was a mistake.
In the blink of an eye, the bathroom door closed firmly behind him.
Only then did I fully sit up, wrapping the covers around myself, heat scorching my face. My entire body buzzed with humiliation.
I wanted to disappear.
Soon the sound of running water followed.
I stared blankly at the wall, replaying the moment over and over, my stomach winding tighter each time.
Was he furious?
Of course he'd be.
Who would be happy with being gripped and assaulted in their own beds, under their own roof while they were asleep?
I had never envisaged this happening, but if he stayed in a separate room, then I wouldn't be dying in shame right now.
Silas emerged from the bathroom in a towel and disappeared into the closet.
When he returned, movements controlled, face blank, doing up the buttons of his crisp shirt like the last few minutes never happened, the air shifted again.
I sank deeper into the bed, wishing I could disappear.
He didn’t look at me as he spoke.
“I need your account details,” he said calmly. “I’ll have the first payment transferred today.”
My ears perked, my heart giving a jolt.
Finally,
I was about to reply when I realised I couldn't use my old account. Damien could track me if there were any transactions or movements.
I swallowed. “I… I don’t have one I can use.”
That made him pause.
Slowly, he turned to face me, a silent question in his stare.
“I had…issues with my old account. So I closed it,” I said quickly, nerves tangling my words. “I thought it would be better to start afresh.”
He stared at me for a while, then turned away, resuming the task of buttoning his sleeves.
I released a breath of relief.
“I’ll have one opened for you.”
“Really? You’ll… do that?”
I was thinking I was going to call up Cherry to help me open a new one today.
“You’ll have access by today.”
“Thank you,” I said softly.
Without another word, he shrugged on his jacket, picked up his phone and left the room.
Only when the door closed did I breathe freely. I lingered in bed for a few minutes going over everything that happened yesterday.
I lifted my hand to stare at the ring on my finger. Silas had added a wedding band to the engagement ring he gave me earlier.
I was now a married woman. My hand went to my abdomen, rubbing it gently. A pregnant married woman.
I almost laughed at the irony of it. If only any of it was real.
As I was sliding out of bed, I remembered that the last thing I heard before giving in to sleep with Silas was taking Natalie's call. I wondered what they had spoken about.
Was it about me?
I shook my head to dispel my thoughts as I made my way to the bathroom.
Whatever they discussed was not my business.
Later, after showering, I went to the closet and I was relieved to see that my luggage had arrived. It was neatly arranged inside.
Beside it were also rows of new female clothes, all with labels intact. Elegant. Definitely expensive. Thoughtfully chosen.
My fingers brushed a sleeve, stunned.
Did Silas do this? When?
They weren't there last night.
Gratitude swelled unexpectedly in my chest. I grabbed my phone and dialed his number before I could second-guess myself.
It rang, but there was no answer. Then, a knock interrupted me.
“Madam,” a maid said gently, “breakfast is ready.”
“Thank you,” I replied, then hesitated. “My sister—Lily. Is she awake?”
“Yes, madam. I’ll take you to her.”
Relief loosened something in me. Making a mental note to call Silas later, I followed the maid out of the room.
We walked down the hall to the other side of the house. She was about to knock when I stopped her.
“It's okay. I'll take it from here.”
“Okay, madam.”
When she didn’t make a move to leave,
“Is there something else?”
“Your breakfast, madam,” she said, lowering her gaze. “Sir gave orders that you mustn't skip it.”
My heart skipped.
“I’ll be down soon.”
Though she wasn't satisfied, she finally left, and I pushed in the door, still surprised that Silas cared enough that I ate.
I walked in—
And stopped cold, my breath catching at the sight before me.