Chapter Eighteen
Russell was a Navy SEAL with the equipment necessary to breach any security system ever invented. Even drunk, he could break and enter better than any thief ever born. Susan’s house was a piece of cake.
He’d parked outside her place last night, broken in when he’d seen she wasn’t there. Her house had looked the same. The bed smelt like her, not another man. His T-shirt was under her pillow. His things were still in the drawers she’d given him. One of his button-down shirts lay over the back of one of her soft living room chairs. His toothbrush still stood proud in the bathroom, right next to hers.
It didn’t add up.
Tonight was different. For one thing, he was a lot drunker. Another, she was home.
Russell’s knuckles cracked from the grip he had on the steering wheel. He breathed deeply and tried to make sense of all the pain and anger filling his gut along with the whisky he’d guzzled.
He was drunk. He shouldn’t be here. He should be back at the bar, letting that blonde bimbo get it on with him. But he didn’t want some faceless fuck, he wanted Susan. The slow pulse of alcohol helped, but didn’t completely take the edge off the slash in his gut.
Shaking his head, he let go of the wheel. He was still going in. Drunk or not, he was going in. She was home, had wanted him to come over, and why let her down? She wanted a fuck? It sounded good to him. He could go a round or two. He could go all day and night, drunk or not. That was all she wanted? He’d give her a good run.
For some reason, his truck wasn’t as agreeable. He couldn’t seem to get the door open, then, when he did, he nearly fell out on his ass into the snow piled up at the side of her drive.
Freezing air helped sober him up slightly. He stumbled forward until he reached her front door. Patting his clothes, he couldn’t remember what he needed until he found the key. Ah, right, key. How many other guys had a key?
The pain and rage were coming back, mixing with lust, and he knew this was not the right move, but he was horny, hot and heavy, and more than ready to give her a ride.
He fumbled the lock, got in and then had to walk back and reset the alarm before it went off. Maybe he was too drunk. The interior of her place was toasty, her wood fire heating the place nicely. He’d helped her get that bastard ready, had watched her sitting on the truck bed while he’d got her wood pile ready.
Her bedroom seemed to take a lot longer to get to than he remembered, but he made it, opened the door, but was completely caught off guard by the explosion of pain hitting his head. He staggered back against the door and focused on the slim figure facing him in the darkness of Susan’s room. Before he could wrap his head around the fact that he’d been hit by a lamp, the click of a bullet loading a chamber got his full attention.
“Stop right there, asshole. Arms up where I can see them, or I swear to God I’ll nail your ass full of lead.”
It took several more seconds for him to recognise the blonde she-cat facing him was Susan. “Susan?”
A light clicked on, and there she was. In sweats, a small pink T-shirt, barefoot, holding a SIG Sauer compact with a steady hand, pointed right at his head.
“Damn.”
She frowned at him more steadily than she held the gun. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought you missed me.”
She huffed something but kept that pistol out and ready. That was not right.
“Put the gun away, Susan.”
“I’ll put the gun away when you get out.” Motioning with her chin, she repeated, “Get out. Get out, now.”
He didn’t move. Hell, he could play. There was no way she was going to pull that trigger and shoot him. Taking a step, he watched as she slid her thumb along the side, taking the safety off.
He took another step, his temper soaring. He’d come here like she’d wanted, and this was what he got? “You don’t want to point a gun at a man like that—”
“You know what, Russell? My daddy told me to never point a gun unless you’re willing to use it. You broke into my house. You lied to me. You weren’t sick. And now you’re here? Why?”
Well, that was easy enough. Grinning he said, “Thought you might want a fuck, Susan. Just for ol’ times’ sake.”
Her face hardened, turned a dark, angry red, but those hands stayed steady. Her blue eyes, though, they shimmered, and something he thought might be guilt—but he was too drunk to be sure—floated up through his consciousness.
“Get out.”
“Been there, done that, huh, baby? No problem. We could try something new.”
“You bastard. Do you seriously think for one minute I want a man who can’t wait one day for me? Can’t even make it home to me before he gets his dick off? You go take that post-ops problem back to the bar, asshole. And get out!” She was screaming by the end, but that gun never wavered, not once. “I will shoot you, Russell. Don’t push me. Get out.”
“Come on, now, we can do this. I’ve got the right tool, baby, I know you like it—”
“Fuck you!”
“That’s what I’m trying to do, baby.”
She jerked at that. The pistol lifted a fraction from his chest, but she steadied it, inched back towards the bedside table and picked up the phone without taking her eyes off him. “I’m calling the police, Russell. Out.”
Now, that was rough. There was no way she was serious. Whatever had her so mad was really not important, but getting that gun out of her hands and his mouth on her was. Before he could take more than a step, she had him staggering back again.
“Hello, I have an intruder. Yes, I know him. Russell Ryland. He’s drunk, obscene, and won’t leave. All right. Thank you.”
Suddenly his head was a lot clearer. What the hell? He shot her a look he hoped made it clear how pissed off that little stunt had made him, then left the room. He nearly killed himself on a piece of furniture, and that made him cuss even more. A light went on and the room was suddenly too bright.
Her table was set beautifully. Candles had burned down into red puddles of wax. A cold, still delicious-looking roast was in the centre of the table on a platter next to a bowl of fresh, but wilted green beans. A salad stood off to one side, and a basket of some homemade rolls Susan knew he liked were in a basket by a plate. Wine stood near one end. She’d laid down a silk tablecloth, too, and a small vase with a single rose—limp and lifeless, now—was next to one setting.
This was not what a woman that screwed around did, was it?
“Get out, and don’t ever break into my house again, Russell.”
He didn’t turn, but he didn’t need to. What was the point? He shouldn’t have come here. Fists clenched, he shook his head, trying to make sense of the woman.
“Fuck, Susan, why do this? How long? How many? Just tell me that.”
Sirens filled the emptiness and he cussed again. He jerked open her front door and came face to face with Eagle and, behind him, Mac.
“Get out.” Susan didn’t shout, but he heard her whisper, and something more painful than a shot hit his gut.
Whoever was at the door needed to die.
Lacey was considering it, actually looking around her half-packed home for a weapon. Nothing jumped out as something she could use, though, so she satisfied her anger by nearly ripping the door off its hinges.
Katya tumbled in.
“What the fu—oh, Susan, Geez, woman.” Katya broke off and some of Lacey’s hurt and anger lessened. Katya looked like she’d been crying. Her green eyes were red and swollen. Over her shoulder, she was carrying a green, military-style duffel bag nearly as big as Katya was.
“Katya? What happened?”
For the first time since she’d met Katya, the other woman looked hesitant, even uncertain. “Can I come in?”
Lacey held in a sigh. She really didn’t want to deal with this right now. The hurt was still too raw. She didn’t want to discuss any of it. She didn’t want to face anyone. And with Katya here, she knew she’d have to not only face it, but talk about it. And there was really nothing to talk about.
Russell’s betrayal was painful. Merely thinking of having to talk about it made her nose burn and her eyes start to sting. She would not cry. Not again. Not over a man that had tricked her so horribly, used her, and then moved on. And come here for one more fuck for old times’ sake.
“Ah, yeah, come on in.” She opened the door more and shut it after her friend. Her friend, who was now wide-eyed and shocked at the state of the house.
“You’re leaving? You can’t! You can’t. Damn it to hell, Susan, you can’t do that!” Katya threw her bag down and paced the room. She glared at the boxes, then over at Lacey as if she’d done something horrible.
A little stunned at the outburst, Lacey stood there for a full minute. Katya was tense, obviously upset and visibly shaking. What had happened? Had Eagle done something?
“I… Listen, Katya, why don’t you come and sit down? Tell me what’s wrong? Why the duffel bag?”
Katya didn’t move, but she tensed up. “Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, I thought I should. Move to Spokane, you know? Work is there—”
“Bullshit! You’re running. Again.”
Lacey struggled for control and won it after several moments. This woman had been a friend to her. Helped her through Russell being gone all those weeks, and she deserved more than she was getting. Lacey hated women who revolved their lives around men and ignored their friends. She’d been too often on that side of things to do it to someone else. But how could she stay here with Russell here? The town was too small, and every single time she closed her eyes, she saw him again, with that blonde on his lap.
“I can’t stay. I can’t,” she whispered, but held up a hand when Katya would have spoken. Fighting the tears was useless. It hurt. She hurt. And there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing. She feared she would always see that blonde sitting on Russell’s lap. Always see his hand on the woman’s stomach while the blonde hung all over him. The fear of that was making her sick. More than the attack, more than her father’s death, Russell’s betrayal hurt like nothing she had ever known.
“Susan, please, I—you need to—”
“No, please, you have to understand. It wasn’t an affair for me. Some downtime for me, it was… I was stupid, I see that now. I thought…” She broke off at the ragged sound of her own voice. “If I had known, Katya, if he hadn’t led me to believe it was more, maybe I could have done it. Kept my heart out of it, you know? But he did make me feel like it was more. Even when I was confused, I think I trusted him, I believed in him. How could I have known? And now…” She waved at the house—the couch she’d loved Russell on, the kitchen where they’d sat and eaten, made love and talked, the bedroom, the garage, all of it. It was too full of him for her to stay. So, yeah, she was running. There was no other way. She wasn’t strong enough. “I don’t know how to forget him when he’s everywhere. I don’t. He made his choice with the blonde; he got laid. End of story. I was a fuck, nothing more.” Tears fell, even though she tried to stop them. It hurt too much. Raw and torn, her heart felt gutted. Torn out and stomped on.
Katya cursed again, hugged her. “Sweet, you don’t have to forget him. He’s an ass. Eagle had to drag his ass out of the bar for fighting. He was so drunk, he was fighting with everyone. He’s been drunk for days.”
It took a long time before she dared speak. Katya was a friend and wanted her happy, she knew that, but she couldn’t erase what she’d seen.
“Katya, I saw him. I saw him with her on his lap. He’s a man. What else explains him not coming here? What else, but that he found a new flavour for his post-ops hard-on?” She practically wailed the last, and hated herself for saying it.
“Let it out. Get mad, and then let’s go kick his ass. All right?”
She pushed Katya away for that.
“No, I don’t beg. And he was with that woman. She was all over him. And you weren’t there. Do you think I don’t know what a quick fuck is? What happens with men after weeks away? In restrooms, or in trucks, for that matter?”
She was not going to forget this. Not going to forgive him. He’d let that blonde all over him. He’d been rubbing her arm. Up and down, his hand had gone. Up and down. He’d lied to her, Mr High-and-Mighty. SEALs didn’t lie, her ass. If her dad had taught her one thing, it was to give a person the rope. If they used it to hang themselves, then deal with the results. She would deal with the results, not her pathetic little dreams. There was no such thing as happily ever after. No knights in shining armour. The agents had taught her that much.
Katya reached up, tugged her red hair off her face and blew out an explosion of air. “Susan! God, all right. Listen to me. Please, Susan?” Katya frowned and then ducked her head. “God, Eagle is so busted for this. I left him, ya know? I left him because of what he did, Susan. And I’m not going back to him until this is fixed between you and Russell.”
Lacey couldn’t quite process that quickly enough. Katya had left Eagle? “What are you talking about? Why did—”
“We saw you in Spokane with two guys. Eagle told Ace. Ace believed him when he said you went into the hotel with them. He thought you’d been with both men.”
What. The. Fuck?
She couldn’t process Katya’s words for a few vital seconds. Her stomach heaved and she fought it. She would not throw up. She’d not eaten, and thank God, because this was not right. “What did you say?”
“Ace thought you cheated on him.”
“Ace thought I cheated on him.”
Katya gave her a half-fearful look, but nodded. “Eagle told him about the guys. But I tried to tell Ace that it wasn’t that…”
Suddenly, the rage began to melt the ice in her body. How dare he? What kind of a woman did that bastard think she was?
She cut Katya off with a snarl. “Wasn’t that I wasn’t fucking two guys when he was coming home? Home, like in two days? Is that what you tried to tell that stupid-ass Navy fuckin’ SEAL bastard? That I didn’t jump in bed with someone else? Like him? Like he did?”
“Holy shit, Susan, calm down.”
Calm down? Russell had not only fucked some bimbo, taken her, covered her with all that male, hard body, but he thought she had let another man—no, not man, two men—touch her.
She was going to lose it. She was. The laughter built up, filling the empty spaces he’d ripped out, and she was going to lose it. She gripped her stomach and laughed. Laughed until it hurt. Hurt more than the pain of his words, his betrayal.
Katya reached out and touched her arm. “Holy shit, Susan, uh… What’s so funny?”
“Oh, my fucking God. I’m going to kill him. That stupid, no good, stupid bastard. You’re telling me not only did he fuck someone else, but he thought I let two men—not one, but two men fuck me? Two days, Katya, two days from when he was coming home?”
She didn’t wait for an answer. She was pissed off, and there was going to be some damage done. She was through hurting. Through with running scared. There would be no more running. She was going to let him have it. But not yet. No. She’d show him. He wanted to fuck that blonde? Replace her with another? Good luck, Major Ryland, Mr Navy SEAL, because she was pretty fucking nifty and he didn’t deserve her anyway.
“What are you thinking, Susan? And what’s with the laugh?”
“Oh, baby. Major Ryland is going to be one sorry bastard.”
Katya’s green eyes widened. “Does that mean you’re going to forgive him? Because I’d really like to go home.”
Hell, no. “No—no, I’m not forgiving him. He slept with that blonde.” Katya tried to say something, and Lacey cut her off with an upraised palm. “Don’t start with me. He did. So he can go fuck her again. He’s not touching me.”
Katya slouched down against the side of the couch and folded her arms over her chest. “Great. Just great.”
Lacey felt a little bad. “Sorry, Katya, I don’t think I can forgive a man for sleeping around.”
Her friend nodded. “Yeah, I wouldn’t forgive Eagle either. If he slept with someone, then fuck him. Or not, I mean. I didn’t want this to end if he was thinking—”
What little control she’d managed to gain over herself evaporated. He’d taken another woman with his body. Filled and found pleasure with someone else. Why? Because he was so insecure he’d believe anything. He didn’t know her. How could he love her? If he’d known one thing about her, it had been that she meant what she said. She’d missed him. She’d said she’d wait for him. And that meant loyalty. Six fucking weeks, she’d missed his sorry ass, and this was what he’d done? Believed that she’d slept with two men right before he’d come home? The same night she’d had phone sex with him, for God’s sake.
“He shouldn’t have even been thinking that! He shouldn’t have even considered it. He should have come here and asked me about the guys, not done this.” And he shouldn’t have fucked that blonde, either. Jealousy was eating her, tearing her up, and with it, anger that he would think so little of her. So much so that she didn’t even hear her door open, didn’t even see Katya’s eyes widen or feel Russell behind her until his hand landed on her shoulder.
“So tell me about the guys.”
His deep voice made her want to retch. She actually felt bile rise, jerked away from him and turned, ready for battle. He was here. In her home. With Eagle behind him.
“Bring re-enforcements, Major? Or did Eagle have to drag you here?” He looked like he’d been dragged here. He looked like shit. Unshaven, tousled, red-eyed and pissed off. Very, very pissed off.
Well, good. They both were.
“I don’t need re-enforcements to deal with you, Sunshine.”
She snorted. Tossed her head and turned her back on him. “You can leave. All of you. I’m busy and don’t have time—” She broke off when he grabbed her again, twisting her around so quickly she stumbled.
Rage exploded behind her eyes. “Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t you ever touch me again. Go fuck your little blonde, Russell. Just leave. I have zero tolerance for cheating bastard liars.”
He stared at her. He didn’t speak, but she knew he was beyond speaking, he was so angry.
“Hey now, there’s no—” Eagle started, but Russell interrupted.
“Eagle, shut the fuck up,” Russell said quietly. Too quietly.
She jerked her arm but he held on tight, not hurting but not letting go either.
“Who were the guys?”
She didn’t answer. Why should she?
“Russell, listen—”
“Katya, this is personal. You and Eagle have done enough.”
“Don’t you dare lay the blame on them, Major Ryland, not when you’re the dumbass who didn’t seem to trust me. Me. Like I would hop from hot phone sex to another man’s—oh, sorry, correction, two men’s bed. And how the hell would that work? Would I pick up two guys while I’m out shopping? Kind of a deal, buy-one-get-one-free kinda thing?”
“Ah, fuck.” Eagle backed up a step, and she included him in her glare.
“That’s right, Eagle. Ah, fuck. As in, your buddy is a minute away from talking soprano. And then what would your new little toy do for fun, huh, Major?”
If Russell could have got scarier she didn’t know how, because suddenly she felt like she’d gone a bit too far. But the pain, the hurt was so big, so real and he was here, like he’d been before. But he wasn’t hers now. Big, warm Russell, with his dark hair and tough face and those bright grey eyes, wasn’t hers. He’d made love to another woman while she’d been here, waiting on him, hurting and worried.
“Sunshine, don’t ever threaten me again, because I’ll paddle your ass so hard you won’t sit for a month.”
His arrogance did it. It was his enormous arrogance that did it. She jerked her hand and he loosened his grip enough for her to pull free and smack his face with such force it hurt her hand. The crack sounded throughout the house like a shot. Then silence. He didn’t move. The slap hadn’t even made him blink, and he could have stopped it. She saw that. She knew it.
“That’s for thinking I’m a whore. And I’ll hit you again if you don’t leave, because I have never been a whore, Russell. And I’ve never lied to you. Not about us. Not about this. And you should have known it, asshole. You should have known. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. You don’t trust me. And you know what? That sucks. Because I thought you knew me. Knew me like no one ever had, Russell.” Her voice dipped down to a whisper at the end and she couldn’t stop the way her voice wavered, how her lips trembled and her eyes smarted.
She would not cry. She would not let him see her cry.
He met her eyes with such intensity a shiver raced down her spine. Reaching up, he touched his face, lingering over his lip where a drop of blood had sprung up.
Her stomach lurched again. She’d never hit anyone in her life. Never.
“I didn’t sleep with the blonde,” he gritted past a clenched jaw, then turned and walked out through her wide open door, his big shoulders back, his body filled with tension.
He was leaving. She knew it. She’d never see him again, she knew that, too.
He’d not slept with the blonde.
Was that the truth? He’d never lied to her before. Not until he’d called that night and told her he was too tired to come by…then gone to a bar to pick up another woman.
The door shut quietly. The lock clicked into place, resounding through the house louder than the slap. And it hurt more. The ice around her heart was completely gone, so was Russell, and that hurt. Hurt all over again. Tears fell without her blinking, running down her face unheeded, and she didn’t even bother to wipe them off.
Eagle and Katya were gone, too. They must have left with the first shouting. Her house was empty, and she was leaving town in tears. Again. Turning, she barely registered the door opening again before she heard Russell cursing and his big arms around her, holding her to his big, Russell-scented body.
“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I didn’t let that woman touch me. Not for more than it took me to get her off my lap. Damn it, Susan, don’t do this to us. Don’t end this because I was an insecure idiot. A stupid fool.”
“A stupid fool bastard,” she managed around her tears. She was sobbing now, so hurt she wanted to be held, to feel him. To believe him. She was so weak.
“Yeah, a bastard, baby. A stupid, fool bastard.” With a heavy sigh, she felt him rest his cheek to her hair.
He always made her feel so small and safe, but being in his arms again felt like he was ripping her apart. She tried to stop her tears, struggled even harder to listen, but the pain filled her and there was nowhere for it to go. She’d reached her limits, she supposed. The tears hurt, but there was no force on earth strong enough to stem them.
Russell made a rough sound in his throat, like a groan of pain. “I love you. I love you so damn much. Shhh, don’t cry like this. It’s killing me. Sunshine, I’m so fucking sorry.”
She let him soothe her, his big, warm body hard yet so gentle with her. He murmured to her, holding her tight but stroking her back like she was fragile, as if she might break. And she felt like she would. She felt all the hurt, the pain, the fear building and flowing out of her. The past year, the attack, her father’s death, the running and then his betrayal all mixed until she couldn’t take it anymore. She needed him. Wanted so badly to believe he hadn’t gone to another that she felt the wish like an ache among all the others.
“Baby, please, baby. Shhh, I swear to God, the only time I’ve lied to you was on the phone when I said I was too tired to come here. And, fuck, I was. Tired, hurt and, yeah, angry. It’s happened before, you know? Not that I cared a fuck at the time, but with you? Baby, you’ve got me. You’re all I ever wanted when I didn’t even know I wanted it.” His deep voice broke, and he wrapped his arms tighter around her. “You’ve got me, heart and soul, and hearing about you with two guys—”
Pulling back she covered his mouth with her hand, lingering over where she’d hurt him. “They were agents. Agents, Russell.”
Every muscle in his body tensed. She felt it. Under her hand, his face clenched and those grey eyes grew cold and hard. Slowly, he reached up and took her hand off his mouth. His eyes blazed with intensity, but he gently twined his fingers with hers. “Say that again, baby.”
She bit her lip, and he reached up and rubbed his other hand under her eyes, drying her tears gently with his fingers.
“I saw a hit. I wasn’t in an accident. I didn’t move here because I wanted to; I saw a member of the Russian mob kill a woman outside a club. It’s why the agents sent me here…only they needed me to identify the men that attacked me. That’s why I went to the hotel. They had it set up so I could see some photos.” She trailed off as he dropped his hand from her face and his other hand grew painfully tight on hers. “Russell, you’re hurting my hand.”
Immediately, Russell eased his grip but the tension didn’t change. He was angry. “And your name?”
And her name? Of all the things to ask her, that was it?
“Your name. It’s not Susan. Did you not trust me enough with that?”
Trust. How could she tell him how much she trusted him? Had trusted him? “I have always, from the first day, trusted you Russell. The agents didn’t. I was to tell no one. I shouldn’t—”
“Tell. Me. Your. Name.”
She nodded at the order. “Sarah. But everyone calls me Lacey.”
“Lacey.” He said it oddly, as if that pissed him off even more. She tried to pull away, but he wasn’t having it. He crushed her to his chest. “And when I said your name, when I said I loved you. When I made love to you. It wasn’t your name,” he whispered raggedly against her neck, his warm breath doing odd things to her.
“Russell.”
He pulled up to stare down at her. “Lacey.” His eyes were darker now, more intense as if he was considering something and hadn’t decided what it was.
“I liked Susan. It was a good name. It’s still my name. Sarah died. She didn’t survive the attack. If she had, she’d be scared.”
“Scared enough to sleep in a U-Haul.”
She nodded. “Yeah,” she answered softly.
The lines around his mouth deepened in displeasure. “What is it you think I do, Lacey?”
“Do?” She tried for dumb, but his frown deepened and he tightened his hand on hers.
“You were a SEAL. You do security now. Protect people.”
“Yeah, I protect people who don’t mean shit to me, Lacey. Men, women, children who will never know me, never matter to me. And the one person in this fucked-up world who does, doesn’t trust me enough to fucking—”
“Russell! Stop! Stop right there! How do you know I wouldn’t have told you? How do you know that wasn’t one of the things I was planning on telling you two nights ago?”
That seemed to break through the anger enough for him to at least blink at her. His face softened by the tiniest degree, and he raised his hand to wipe at her tears again.
He sighed heavily and cupped her cheek. “Damn it, Sunshine, what are we going to do with you? You’re enough to make a man consider tying you to the bed to keep your ass out of trouble.” His soft voice was in complete contrast to the words he was speaking.
She huffed a laugh and leaned her head against his chest, so tired she was more than willing to forgive him, simply because she wanted to sleep.
“Your hair is blonde,” he suddenly said against her hair. His erection was a hard, thick wedge between them, making her body tingle awake after so many weeks without him. “For me?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, for you,” she agreed with a sigh.
“Sus—Lacey, look at me, baby.” He tipped her head up, cupped her neck, and he used a thumb to tip her chin up so she would meet his eyes. It was intimate, so male it had her heart racing. “I didn’t let her touch me. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I was…”—he closed his grey eyes and touched his forehead to hers—“a stupid bastard, but not that much of a dumbass.”
“I would never have done such a thing, Russell. You should have known that. You were my first. How would I go to another? Why? When you were on your way home, safe?” Her voice broke, and he grimaced like she’d hit him.
“I know. Fuck, I know. I was jealous, baby, pissed, jealous and…yeah, hurt. It hurt like a son of a bitch.”
“I know. It hurt me, too. And pissed me off.”
He chuckled. She leant back to see a grin on his face. “Yeah, I noticed that. You’re quiet the angry kitten, baby.”
“You left.”
“Fuck that. I went to get my truck keys and bag.”
Glancing down, she noticed his duffel bag for the first time. She noticed something else too. Another bag.
“And I’m taking you to the ranch. No way are you staying here. If you went to ID some guy, don’t you think they’ll know you’re still alive? Still walking? What were those agents thinking—and how the hell did they get hold of you—?”
She reached down and wriggled her hand into his jeans. He stuttered to a stop when she cupped his erection, sliding her hand over the swollen length to the rounded head and thumbing the pre-cum all round the slit. His words died that simply. Completely.
“Ah, hell.”
“I want my makeup sex. I want my welcome home sex. I want my you’re sorry and you’ll never doubt me again sex. And I want it now. You owe me. Owe me for the lasering I had done. You owe me for sitting at a salon for hours to get the dye out of my hair, and you owe me for a dinner I made for you while you were out being a sorry bastard SEAL idiot and not trusting me. Now, enough talking, Russell Ryland. I want sex.” She squeezed him again for emphasis and was rewarded by a husky male groan and his erection jerking in her hand. He was thick, hard as steel, and she needed him inside her now.
“Fuck, Sunshine.”
“Yes, now. Fuck me, now.”
His grey eyes blazed and suddenly she was in his arms, his mouth crushing hers with a kiss that stole her breath with its intensity.
He pulled up just as suddenly. “I love you, no matter what your fucking name is, I love you.”
Before she could say the same, he took her mouth again. He didn’t just kiss her, he was laying claim. His mouth marked her with teeth, lips and tongue, letting her know exactly how much he’d missed her, needed her and, God help her, loved her. And she gave it right back, sucking on his tongue, eating at his mouth, sipping at his lips while she tugged his silky hair and tried to climb up his body.
The bedroom door slammed behind him.
“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby. You want that, don’t you? Hard and fast, so deep, so deep you’ll feel me for days. Then I’m going to claim that ass. It’s mine. You’re mine. All mine. Tonight, and from now on.”
“God, Russell.” The breath left her on a whoosh of lust.
“Ah, baby, you know you’ll love it. There’re not going to be any more trips, no more days without you, no more separation. Just you and me, until we don’t know where one ends and the other begins.”
Oh, God, that was so hot. So Russell. A shiver raced over her at his words. She knew he’d do exactly as he’d promised. He’d warned her before he’d left. His thick fingers had prepared her rear that night. He’d told her that he wanted her. All of her. And he would have her.
“Say it. Say it, Lacey, let me hear you say it. You’re mine. Now. Always. Mine. Say it.” He dropped her down on the bed and ripped her yoga pants off, with a heavy groan at the sight of her purple thong. He reached out with one big hand and cupped her, gently but firmly. Grey eyes pinned her in place, but set her heart racing. “Mine. This is mine. All of it,” he growled. His hand slipped beneath her thong and stroked back to her rear to cup her in between her legs. “This, too, this is mine. Say it, Sunshine. Say it.”
Her breasts tightened painfully, and she knew he felt the flood of moisture filling her as it wet his hand. He groaned low and rubbed his palm against her, his big fingers digging into her rear.
“Yours. Oh, Russell, now. I want you now.” And she did. She was soaked. Dripping wet for him. She wanted him. Anything and everything he could give her. Her pussy was empty and she wanted to be filled. She wanted him there, and she wanted that forbidden pleasure he’d promised he’d take. She’d give it. She wanted him wild. She wanted him so overcome with his desire he took her, claimed her like he’d never claimed another.
“Damn right, baby. Right now.”
“I want you. All of you. Everywhere. You’re mine, too, Russell.” She knelt before him and watched as he stripped, tugging his shirt off with a snap of buttons to reveal his firm chest and tight, muscled abs. She stopped his hands on his belt and tugged it free, unbuttoned his Wranglers and unzipped to take his straining erection in her hand.
Six weeks. Six weeks of remembering him and here he was. So huge. The thick head of his cock was swollen, dripping wet and the crest was flared red above the thick, pink shaft. And he wanted this in her ass?
“Will we fit?”
He groaned and reached for her face, cupping her cheeks, and bent to kiss her with such heat she nearly climaxed.
“Gently. I’ll take that ass so tenderly you’ll only feel pleasure and the burn of such heat, such passion, it’ll sear us, make us one.”
She wanted that. She wanted to feel him owning every part of her he wanted. If he wanted, she knew she’d give.
“Yes, I want that Russell. I want to feel you there.”
The sound he made at her confession made her stomach dip. She couldn’t stand it any longer. His erection smelt so good—warm, musky Russell—and the tip was right there, a breath away from her lips. She rubbed her cheek along the shaft and breathed his scent in. He smelt like clean soap and spicy Russell. No one would ever smell him like she did. She knew it with a certainty that made her feel reckless with her possession of him. Brave.
Russell suddenly bent down and tore her shirt off, groaning at her lacy bra, and then unhooked it and jerked the lace off her as well.
“Panties, fuck, take those panties off. I need more than a blow job, baby. I need to fuck you so bad, I’m getting desperate.”
She stood up on the bed and balanced with a hand on his big shoulder so she could shimmy out of her panties. He was stroking himself, his big hand running up and down his length, while his other hand cupped her thigh. He began kissing up the inside of her leg.
“Russell.”
“I want to taste first, baby. Just a taste. Remember? You had me coming so hard on that phone thinking of you. Lift that leg, here.” He tugged one leg over his shoulder, opening her up to his eyes and then, oh God, his tongue.
He didn’t waste time. She doubted he could. And she was so hot, she gasped as a mini-climax rippled up her tummy when his tongue licked along her clit. She reached out and gripped the bedpost to keep from falling. Russell was warm skin under her thigh, his lips and tongue so wonderful she couldn’t stop herself from bucking into his mouth.
He dipped his tongue against her opening and slipped one finger along her rear, then back to her pussy spreading her moisture, she guessed, but it felt so good she gasped.
“Russell!” She arched her hips, opened her thighs wide and screamed his name again when he drove his long fingers into her empty pussy. His mouth began moving in time with her hips, licking her in slow, steady strokes. So close. Then he moved his hand. His finger slipped from her and slowly slid to her rear, circling the small opening with her wetness once, then pressed slowly in as his other fingers drove into her pussy.
A scream erupted from her lips. She exploded, the unfamiliar thickness making her wild as Russell pressed down, not gently, no, but with deep strokes of his thick finger, matching the ones in her pussy until she was sobbing at the feel, the pleasure of it. He held her tight in his other hand, mashing her hips close to his face so she couldn’t escape. Not that she would have.
“Russell, oh, God!”
“Yeah, baby, that’s it.” He rubbed his tongue over that most sensitive part of her body he seemed to find so wonderfully and began taking her up again, and all she could do was tighten her hands in his hair as he added another finger to her rear, stretching her tiny opening slowly. His fingers felt big, but slick with her release. She should have been embarrassed, but the time for that was gone, long gone. Russell was all she wanted, needed. He completed her, made her strong and whole and what he did to her? Amazing.
“Good, so tight, so fucking tight. Your little ass is sucking me baby, sucking my fingers like a greedy little mouth. It’s gonna be so hot. So hot.”
“Russell! Oh, God, that feels…”
“Tell me, baby. Tell me.”
“I…good, it feels good.” And it did. Forbidden, a bit frightening, but he rubbed along a spot that had her biting her lip. “Good.”
“Ah, fuck, I’m going to make it so good. You drive me crazy. I want this, so fucking bad. I never knew…never thought… You’re gonna love my cock in this pretty ass. Come for me once more. Once more, baby. Do it. Now.”
He added his tongue to her clit, demanding her surrender with such a soft, licking suck, she screamed as her body clamped down on his fingers. The sensations were so incredible she was only half aware when he rose from between her legs and placed the head of his cock against her pussy. But she was aware his thick fingers still impaled in her ass. He pulled her legs up to her chest and turned her to her side, exposing her for his possession.
A rush of lust hit her stomach.
“God, Russell, oh, God.”
His face flushed darker and he swooped down to nip at her lips. “So fucking beautiful, baby. I love you so much.”
A sob broke from her mouth, and she grabbed his strong neck to kiss his face. “I love you, Russell. I love you.”
His dark eyes met hers and she saw such tender emotions mix with his lust, she kissed him again. “Love you so much, Russell.”
“Aw, baby. That makes me crazy. Say it again while I make you mine. Take me, take me baby. Fuck me good. Get wild.”
She shifted her butt, wild for him and so wet, and moaned at the feel of his heavy cock against her entrance. His eyes met and held hers, the grey depths filled with such warmth, such need that she shivered. He was on fire, hot, panting with need, his body tense and ready for her. With a groan, he suddenly shoved forward, impaling her with his thick cock to his balls on the first thrust. They both cried out and his fingers released her ass only to grab her hips and press her down to accept more of him with each urgent thrust.
She could feel every thick inch of his veined, ridged cock this way. It was amazing and frightening to think he wanted that big penis in her rear. The excitement that added to the sex was explosive. “Oh, my God. Russell!”
“Baby, ah, God. Yeah, take me, take me, any way you want, baby. Say it.”
“Russell, please, oh, God, hard, harder, more!”
His eyes burned into hers, and his hands tightened on her, holding her down so all she could do was experience each sensation as he drove her higher. She gasped for breath. Her body trembled on the brink as Russell thundered into her, using his entire body to take her higher and higher.
A tremble started deep inside and suddenly she was coming. She screamed his name as the experience grew and grew until she feared how deep the orgasm would go. Above her, Russell groaned, fighting for control, and lunged over her.
That was all it took. She lost it, completely gave up on trying to control her climax and fell into a spin of pleasure that had her toes curling and her legs shuddering. Russell kept her pinned in place, his heavy, muscled body and thrusts making her wild.
“There, there. Take, it baby, take it!”
“Russell. Love you, love you, love you!”
He tugged her hair and tipped her head back to kiss her deeply, loving her mouth with a desperation that had her hugging his neck tight, surrendering everything to him as he took her body and gave her all of his.
He pulled out when the last tremble eased and flicked her clit with his finger. Pleasure shot up her spine, and with a rush of oxygen she felt him press the velvet head of his cock to her rear.
“Press back, baby, take me. Make me wild.”
He didn’t give her time to think, merely feel, as he thumbed her clit, trailing his lips down to her breast and torturing her with soft, gentle sucks on the aching tip. She gasped when he pressed his stiff shaft deeper, forcing her small opening to widen for him. A shimmer of fear made its way past the pleasure, but Russell soothed her with his hands and hot, wet kisses to her heated flesh.
“Relax and let me give you this, baby. Tell me if it’s too much. I’ll stop, any time you say.” His words calmed her but his tone was full of desperate hunger. The sound shot her own arousal higher. He groaned as she flooded his fingers with a blast of wetness. Groaning again, he rubbed his cock along her wet folds and tucked her ass tighter to the cradle of his thighs. His hot, moist breath burned along her breasts as he nudged her rear again, slowly sinking in when she pressed back. He panted louder, a low groan of pleasure ripping from his throat as she felt him continue with his long thrust. It hurt, but she breathed through the pain and suddenly felt him breach her tightness and push every thick, iron hard inch of his erection slowly into her rear.
It was amazing. Mind-blowing. Incredible on a level she knew she’d crave.
Russell groaned her name and sucked on her breast so hard she whimpered at the dual pleasures assaulting her. Her butt pressed back into his hips, impaling him until the warm, heavy weight of his sac brushed her wet pussy.
He tightened his hands painfully on her hips, preventing her from moving. “Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck. Never knew. Never fucking knew, baby. I want this. Goddamn, how I want this little ass. I’m gonna claim this now, baby, then we’re going to let you have this a lot more often. A lot more.”
A tremble raced down her body at the frantic quality of his voice. She knew that tone, knew he was close to losing control.
She wailed when she felt him flex his hips, drag every inch out of her, then shove back in, starting a firm, steady rhythm that was killing her. She could feel every muscle and vein of his flesh parting her. Every thrust felt like it went straight to her toes, curling them up as the orgasm built impossibly high.
“Russell.”
“Yeah, oh, fuck, yeah. Love it, baby, love it.”
She did. She loved every urgent shove, each inch of him as he possessed her. This was his first, her first, and they were in it together. So deeply intertwined, and she was covered in Russell, filled with Russell. She began chanting his name louder and louder, unable to stop the sound as her body tightened for explosion.
“Baby, God I love you so much.”
He sank to the hilt, shoved himself tighter still and flicked her clit. She wailed like a wild woman. Emotions whirled with the same intensity as sensations shot through her. Deep inside her, she could feel every solid inch of Russell’s flesh possessing hers. On top of her, his hot flesh slid along hers while his firm hands gripped her tightly to hold her in place. Breathing became impossible as he whispered over her breast. She wanted, needed his mouth on her nipples.
“Russell.” She tossed her head when he kept her waiting, her body on fire but burning slowly—too slowly. He caressed his hand along her hip, smoothed over her arm and tugged her hands over her head. With a gasp, she felt him latch on to her breast and his hot mouth licked and sucked her nipple perfectly. Deep inside her, she felt him enter and retreat, over and over, so slow, so steady she cried into his hair and tugged at her arms.
“Russell, oh, God, more, please, do something, more. More.” God, was that her voice? She sounded sexy even to her own ears.
Russell groaned around her breast, and his breathing became more intense, more laboured as he began fucking her rear for real. She began to unravel with each firm lunge.
With a sharp bite on her breast, Russell reared up, his face tense with hunger and so beautiful she had to close her eyes.
“No, baby, watch me. Watch me,” he grunted on his next thrust, and her eyes sprang open at how deep he pressed.
“Oh, my God, Russell. Do something, please, oh, God.”
“Yeah, baby, come for me. Do it, baby, do it.” He kept her hands up above her head and began thrusting two fingers deep inside her pussy. She tried to arch, tried to move, push back, anything, but couldn’t. The knowledge hit like a dose of gas on an already lit fire. Her body shivered, nearing a point of no return. Russell growled in her ear—sexy, hot words she loved—and began pumping faster. He added a sharp push at the end of each lunge and she bit down on his neck, unable to stop herself.
Her climax trembled on the edge with each shove until, with a scream, she reached the point of detonation and her body simply imploded. The climax rocked through her so long that she jerked in his embrace. She felt him wrap around her, and sobbed as her body contracted. On top of her, Russell pounded into her and she felt him swell to huge. Her body blossomed higher, knowing he was going to come inside her. She wailed his name again and hot blasts of wetness flooded her as Russell grunted and groaned repeatedly, his body tightening and shuddering as he dug in as deep as possible.
When he slowly relaxed, he was breathless against her neck, saying her name as he settled partway on top of her. She melted under him, so exhausted and still shimmering with her climax she really just wanted to curl up, like this, and sleep. With a sudden jerk, he tried to pull up but she hugged him tighter, not letting him.
“No, Russell, don’t move.”
“God, Su—Lacey, baby, tell me I didn’t fucking hurt you.” He pulled his hips back with a groan, and she joined him at the feel of his thickness slipping from her.
“No, God, no, but oh, my God, that…” She had no words. It had been kinky, hot and she craved it again already.
He watched her intently and whatever he saw made his lips curl. He bent down and took her mouth in a wild kiss until they were both breathless.
Meeting her eyes, he caressed her cheek tenderly with his hand. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. And mine. I’m sorry I hurt you, but we make up good, don’t we, Sunshine?”
She laughed. How could she not? He looked like some little boy, his hair all messed up and his face all flushed, but that grin she loved covered his face and spilled into his eyes with happiness. She did this to him.
“Oh, Russell, we both misunderstood. I could have told you. I wanted to before you left, but… You were so… You wouldn’t say anything and I…” She broke off when tears choked her. She was an emotional mess wasn't she?
He brushed a kiss to her frown and pulled up enough to stare down at her with a grimace. “Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” He brushed a thumb under her eyes and shook his head, “You couldn’t read my mind. If you could, you’d have known all I wanted… Hell, I wanted you to ask me not to go.”
Stunned, she rolled her head to the side to stare back at him. When she saw he was serious—very, very serious—she felt her heart melting. “Would you have stayed?”
A smile tugged his lips up a bit. “No, but I wanted you to ask. Show you cared…”
“Russell!” She was too tired to hit him properly, but she lifted a hand that felt like it weighed a ton and hit him on the chest.
He grabbed her hand and kissed each finger. Then, in one of those moves she loved, he tugged her by the waist and curled her up on his chest while he spread out all over her bed like a lion. “Show off.”
He snorted. “Hell, a man needs to with you.”
“Huh.”
They stayed quiet for a long while, long enough for her to tug the blankets up and curl against him. When she was settled and thought he might have dozed off, he sifted a hand through her hair. He smiled when she looked up at him.
“Damn—blonde. Fuck, baby, you’re going to kill me.”
She grinned and kissed his chest. He was still breathless, and, well, so was she. But kill him? She doubted it. She was ready for a snack and a nap. Russell could probably go another two or three rounds.
“What are you thinking?”
She glanced up at his serious expression. He’d wanted her to ask him to stay? Would he have? No, but he’d wanted her to ask. His face was still flushed, but his eyes were intent, watchful, almost worried. “Oh, Russell, that’s not fair. What are you thinking?”
“That I’m lucky you didn’t shoot my ass—”
A phone ringing, not hers, made them both pause. She groaned. He joined her. “Do you know how many times I waited by that phone, Russell Ryland?”
He took her hand and massaged her knuckles. “Aw, baby, not any more, not any more. I’m glued to you.” Raising his hips suggestively, he grinned. “We need to shower and I want to check that sweet little butt, Sunshine.”
Check her butt? She knew she was blushing but couldn’t stop it.
“Just to make sure, that’s all.”
“Well, I don’t think so. No checking my butt out.”
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” His voice came out husky with emotion, and she sat up enough to move on top of him and cup his silly face.
“Oh, Russell, you’d never hurt me. I know I didn’t trust you either, but let’s take this slow. That was…wonderful, but I’ll check myself out.”
He laughed softly and curled his arms around her. Some of the tension slipped from his face and he tilted his head to look up at her. “All right, baby, this time.”" He paused and brushed a kiss to her jaw before resting back to look up at her. “You loved it?”
“I loved it,” she whispered.
He smiled and kissed her forehead, simply holding her tight in his arms.
The phone kept ringing and she finally lifted her head and met his eyes. “Are you getting that?”
His brows jerked down as if she’d said the most stupid thing ever. “Hell, no.”
“Russell…”
Grey eyes met hers firmly. “We aren’t done here. That was only makeup sex. I still owe you the missed-your-dinner sex.”
“And the welcome home sex.”
The phone started ringing again—this time, the house phone. He tightened his hands on her butt, keeping her firmly in place. He was so cute she wanted to bite him. Instead she kissed his jaw and rubbed her lips over his roughness.
“We did have a fight and Katya might be worried.”
A brow rose, but he didn’t move. “Huh, you think so? I think they’re being nosy.”
“Russell.”
His hands tightened on her butt, then slid up her curves to glide up her back to her shoulders and back down. It felt wonderful. She closed her eyes.
“You called the police on me.”
She blinked her eyes open and grinned at the outrage in his tone.
“Damn right.” A giggle earned her a soft little spank and she jumped, smacking him on his rounded shoulder. They both jumped when they heard someone banging on the front door. When she tried to move, though, Russell held her down by twisting and landing on his side, one of his heavy thighs over her hips. She could instantly feel his groin growing fuller against her. Russell rubbed along her skin and she giggled. “Russell!”
“We’ll have to get up. These assholes aren’t going away, are they?”
She smacked him lightly on the chest for his language. “Don’t call Katya that.”
He rolled her over and kissed her, nudging her hips with his thickening penis. “Baby, they are seriously interfering. Go shower and I’ll run them off.”
“Shower alone?” She wanted to shower with him. “I’ve not been able to lick you all over yet.”
Immediately his eyes darkened, and against her stomach she felt his erection jerk.
Grimacing he looked torn in two. Good. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why? You wanted me to on the phone.”
Burying his head in her neck, he groaned like he was dying. “Yeah, I did, but no one was outside the door trying to get in.” As if to illustrate that point, his phone rang and the pounding sounded louder.
With a curse, he struggled over the side of the bed, grabbed the phone from somewhere and snapped a ‘what’ into it. She took advantage of his rounded bottom to kiss it, earning a quick glance so she smacked one firm, round cheek. “There, you deserve that.”
He covered the phone to say, “A little harder, baby.”
The brat!
He took up his conversation as if she hadn’t spanked him, except to grab her hand and haul her up for a kiss.
“Of course she’s fine. What the fu—what did you think?” He grinned at her, winked and swatted her butt when she got up. She wiggled it to torment him. “I didn’t forget the police, or the Sauer aimed at my damn head.”
Oops, she’d forgot about that one.
“No, I don’t want to have dinner with you guys—”
“Russell!”
He glowered at her, cute as heck.
“Hell, no. Well maybe a quick burger; this is my time with… Yeah, whatever. I’m coming and tell those assholes to quit pounding on the fu—door.”
She ducked into the shower, smiling. He sure was trying with his language. It almost sounded painful.
Had it been an hour ago she’d wanted to shoot him? And now? Now, he was here? And oh, man, had he been here. Her body shivered at the sex they’d just had. Her rear felt alive, sensitive just remembering the feel of him, although she’d loved his frantic, out of control thrusts the most. Titillated didn’t even begin to describe the way she’d felt when he’d lost control and taken her like he’d die if he didn’t.
She shivered at how good she felt. Good? She felt like she’d had sex. With Russell. Anal sex. And she wanted more. He’d loved it, and somehow that made it all the hotter.
“Room in there for two, Sunshine?”
She squealed and smacked firm, naked flesh. “Russell! Don’t scare me like that. And you are not getting in here with me if those men are in the house.”
Chuckling, he ignored her and ducked in, pressing her hand tighter to his chest. What could she do? He was all over her, all muscled man and all hers. Just to make sure, she started rubbing her hands all over him, watching his grin reach his eyes.
“Naw, I bought us some time. They went on a beer run. Seems like someone drank all yours.”
She shrugged and bit him on one hard plane of his chest. “Huh, that someone was me.”
Suddenly she was pushed back against the tiled wall of the shower by a big, warm, aroused man who ended the sparring match with a better use of their lips.
And then she showed him an even better use.