Chapter 59

Chapter 59
Chapter 59
For a brief moment, I wonder if I might have gone crazy, that the transformation failed, and that it has affected my brain.
Even though I know deep down that it isn't the case. I look around the room, even though I know damn well that the voice didn't come from the room, but from me, from inside me.
I stare at Dex, who looks at me with a mix of concern and barely concealed amusement.
His lips twitch, the only confirmation I need.
Okay, okay, no need to panic, I tell myself.

"Please don't start screaming. We share a body; I'd rather not start our relationship with a migraine."
I blink. “Are you… My wolf?”
"Excellent observation."
Despite the bizarre situation, a laugh escapes me. It feels wrong to laugh right after I’ve done something that almost cost me my life.
I give it a moment to let it sink in. And however bizarre it may be, it doesn't feel frightening... it feels... natural. As if I am... reconnecting with something I lost a long time ago.
"You feel strangely normal," I confess, somewhat surprised.
Warmth flows through my mind. Approval, affection.

"That is because I am you."
I let that sink in for a moment. There is another consciousness in my head. Another soul.
Instead of feeling invaded, I feel more complete than ever.
"Do you have a name?" I ask, curious to get to know her better.
There is a brief pause before she answers with unmistakable pride.

"Lyra."
"Lyra," I repeat softly. It feels like the perfect name.
Strong, elegant, wild.
"And considerably more patient than you."
I snort. "That's debatable." Dex laughs softly. "Should I be worried?" he asks.
"She is sarcastic," I answer, shrugging. Dex pulls a pained look. "Yeah, okay. You're in trouble."
Lyra radiates smug satisfaction.

"I like him." She purrs. "Also, you don't have to talk out loud so I can hear you. You look like a lunatic if you keep talking to yourself. Just think the words, and I will hear you." I nod understandingly.

Dex scratches his neck. "I hate to interrupt... but Drake is getting impatient." Dex's voice echoes in my head.
"What the Fuck?!" I scream. I know what mind link is, but I wasn't prepared for this. Dex chuckles. "Sorry, I should have warned you." He apologizes, but judging by his smirk, he doesn't mean it. I glare at him. I press a hand against my chest. "Yeah, you should have," I say accusingly.
"Drake needs to stop whining. Lilly almost died."
My eyebrows shoot up. Surprised that she's talking to me as if I'm someone else. When I feel a warm wave of approval, I finally realize she's talking to Dex. "You... can you hear her too?" I ask in disbelief. Dex smiles. "Yes, if she wants to. Because we've already completed our mating bond, she can talk to me if she wants to."
Out of nowhere, I am overwhelmed by emotions. Worry, fear, it takes my breath away, and tears sting my eyes. My throat tightens; he was really afraid that I wouldn't wake up again.
I look at him, and I see the emotion in his eyes. The fearful emotions subside and are replaced by a warm feeling, love. His love warms me from the inside out, and it is the best feeling I can ever imagine. But beyond his love, there is also his need to protect me, the relief that I survived.
And beneath all that, something else surfaces, something that is growing bigger and bigger. An all-consuming certainty.
Mine.
I shake my head, for a moment not knowing what to do with this tidal wave of emotions. Dex slides closer and cups my face.
"I... I can feel you." I say in a shaky voice. "More than before." He smiles softly. "I know."
"This is... Intense."
"I know." He smiles apologetically. "You will get used to it."
Before I can say anything, there is a knock on the door.

Beth comes in with Claire in her arms.
As soon as she sees me, she spreads her arms with a smile. "Mamamamama," she babbles. Tears well up again. My little girl. I slide a little away from Dex and reach out my arms to hold her in mine.
I hold Claire in my arms and hug her tightly. I bury my nose in her neck. By the smell, she has just had a bath. She smells like baby lotion. I inhale deeply. My eyes widen.
Besides that lovely bath scent, I smell something else.
Brent.
The scent is faint, but unmistakable. Although, as a human, I have never really picked it up properly, I know deep in my heart that it is Brent. I make no effort to wipe away the tear sliding down my cheek.
Claire carries a piece of him. Not just in DNA and appearance. In her scent, in her essence.
A sob rises in my throat. My shoulders shake as I hold her pressed against me. What a terrible mother I am. I almost left her behind. If the transformation went badly, she would have no father and no mother left. My sweet little girl. How could I be so selfish.
"Hey, stop it. You are the best mother she could wish for," Lyra scolds me.
Dex's hand slides reassuringly over my back.
I press a kiss on Claire's little head. I loosen my grip so I can look at her. She places a little hand on my cheek, and I smile at her. She looks at me seriously, as if she wants to ask why I am crying, as if she senses that there is something different about me.
She tilts her head, and I wonder if she can actually know that I am different now. That I am just like her now.
Before I can pay too much attention to it, she smiles broadly at me. I laugh with relief.
I pull her close to me again, still not done cuddling.
"Do you think she knows?" I ask Dex. He shrugs. "I have no idea. Does that matter?"
"No, not really.."

A silence falls during which I wonder if I should bring up the fact that I can smell Brent on her.
I take a deep sniff to be sure I haven't imagined it. The grief feels like a stab in my stomach, and I swallow. When Dex gently squeezes my hand, I look up. I feel guilty sitting here crying over my previous mate, while my current mate, who has changed me, sits beside me. "It's okay. I'm here whenever you need me," he assures me; understanding is written on his face. "You... knew?" I ask, certain that he knows what I mean. He smiles sadly. "Yes," his gaze meets Beth's. "Children always carry something of their parents with them, even humans. We just pass on something extra," she explains.

Beth and Claire stay for a while longer, and the doctor comes to check on me a few times. Although he still has to come to terms with the fact that I survived the transformation, he is surprised by my recovery. Towards the end of the afternoon, I am allowed to leave the hospital if I promise to take it easy for a few more days.

Arriving at the packhouse, I am a little disappointed that it is almost deserted. I have never experienced it this quiet before.
But in a way, I am also happy about it; it gives me the space to really get used to my improved senses. It wasn't so noticeable in the hospital, but the moment I stepped outside, everything changed.
The sounds were much sharper, and my vision is brighter than before.
"Where is everyone?" I ask as I look around. "Out. I sent them away so you wouldn't be overwhelmed." My heart melts.
"Remember, you need to take it easy." I wave his remark away. "Yeah, yeah."

The following days are exactly that. Dex reminding me to take it easy.
Lyra is a constant presence in my mind. Sometimes absent, but mostly emphatically present, and impossible to ignore.
"That's because you're overthinking everything all the time," she remarks.
"I do not." I snap.
"Yes, you do, you do it right now."
I sigh; she's not wrong, unfortunately.
I am still adjusting myself, getting used to my heightened senses, the bond with Dex, and the fact that his feelings sometimes overpower mine.
But despite the chaos of it all, I feel stronger than before.
More, alive, finally whole.

After a few days, I start to feel restless; I have to do something.
I persuaded Dex to take me for a walk.
Lyra didn't say it in so many words, but I feel her restlessness too, the need to explore the surroundings.
With a bag full of food and drink, we make our way through the woods. After a while, I start to recognize the surroundings. It has been a while, but I think I know where he is taking me, and I smile.
Even before I can see it, I hear it. The splashing of water.
My smile widens as the waterfall comes into view. "I knew it!" I call out happily.
I take in the place. The place is the same, yet so different. The glints in the water, the scent the waterfall carries with it. It is beautiful.
I stand still at the edge of the water; Dex wraps his arms around my waist from behind, and Lyra purrs.
Then, it hits me. "It is time," I whisper. Dex's grip tightens. "You are ready for it."

Lyra's attention sharpens, and I laugh nervously. "Lyra seems to agree with you," I say softly, not entirely sure myself.
"It's about time, don't you think?"
I roll my eyes at her; it's easy for her to say.
Dex presses a kiss on my temple. "You won't be alone. I am with you."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The mating band hums steadily between us.
Lyra pushes herself more to the foreground, ready to take over. Nerves and enthusiasm mix and buzz through my body. I look up at the rising moon. The realization comes. Dex knew it, that's why he wanted to go in the evening. Not because he was still busy during the day, even though that was probably true, but not the main reason.
I turn around so I can look at him. I nod. "I'm ready."