78. Wholeheartedly
Saïda’s POV:
I was afraid. Afraid that he was angry at me. He looked so stern while he drove and I felt awful. He kept his frown on and the vein at his temple was still swollen. I wanted to say something but decided to shut up.
I was a little confused when he took a road other than the one that led to the palace. We literally drove out of the sultanate and headed towards its outskirts. I didn’t say anything.
We drove for a while until the little woods and Asahd ended up parking at the top of one of the beautiful hills at the outskirts of the sultanate of Zagreh. It had an amazing view.
When he stopped the car, I watched him silently. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his head on the stirring wheel. I decided to speak because I was worried for him.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I asked gently and he was silent at first, but then answered.
“I can’t return to the palace in this state,” he muttered and my heart broke a little. He was trying to calm down.
“I’m sorry all this happened,” I started, a lump in my throat. “I told Noure about us because I thought he would call the engagement and wedding off or something. But things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to and I’m so sorry, Asahd. Please, don’t be angry with me.”
He took a deep breath and raised his head, opening his eyes. He turned to me and said:
“I’m not angry at you, sweetheart.”
Relief immediately washed over me.
“I’m angry about that fool that insists on having you when he doesn’t deserve you,” he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead like his head was aching.
“He–” he started softly and spoke like there was a lump in his throat too. “He succeeded in making me insecure, you know.”
I stared at a suddenly fragile Asahd and I broke even more on the inside. He opened his eyes and looked at me, they were watery. My breath literally hitched and I was already sad as hell, seeing him in such a state.
“He made me doubt if you really love me,” Asahd swallowed and blinked several times, looking at the stirring and seeming to regain his composure in order not to shed a tear. “He made me doubt for a while, telling me that you were only using me and stuff.”
He swallowed and faced me again, his beautiful brown eyes still watery. The look he had on was the purest I’d ever seen and I thought I would sob or something. My eyes were already prickling.
“I know,” he started, finding it difficult to speak as he definitely was fighting back the urge to cry. “I know I used to say that even if you were just using me, all that was important was you desiring and being with me. But now I want more. I take back what I said, Saïda. I don’t want you to just desire and use me or whatsoever. I want you to love me. I need you to love me.”
I didn’t even know when the tears rolled down my cheeks and the goosebumps covered my skin. My heart was palpitating and I’d lost my speech.
He turned on his side and held my hands in his, looking me in the eyes.
“P– please love me,” his voice was shaky as he begged me. “I don’t care about the rest. Just love me. Please. I know you already do,” he smiled a little, caressing my cheek gently. “When I came to get you in his apartment, before entering, I heard everything you told him about me and your love for me. Yes Saïda, I will forever put your needs before mine.”
I stared into his beautiful eyes, leaning into his touch. Yes I loved him. So much. More than I’d ever loved anyone else. Yes, it was at that moment that I accepted the complete fact. I’d doubted a little for a while. But it was over now.
“You made me confident again. Strong. When I heard you,” he smiled a little and I melted. “But I need to hear you confess it to me one more time,” his voice was soft and gentle, so was his touch.
He looked so innocent. So pure, emotional and fragile. How could I not fall in love with him?
′I love you to death, Asahd.′
I broke my silence, more tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Asahd,” I started, my emotions overwhelming.
“Yes,” he replied softly.
“I love you. I love you very much,” I kissed the hand he was rubbing my cheek with. “More than I have ever loved Noure. I love you in a way I have never loved him.”
Saying it out loud was a total relief. I saw the look in his beautiful brown eyes, brighten and he smiled.
“Does this mean–” he started but I cut him.
“Yes. I love you. And only you. I don’t love Noure, anymore. It’s you I love, wholeheartedly. I swear my heart completely belongs to you now Asahd.”
He smiled happily and closed his eyes in relief. Immediately he did so, a single tear succeeded to roll down his cheek.
“You don’t know how bad I wanna jump right now,” he chuckled gently and I giggled a little, holding his beautiful face in my hands, wiping that tear.
He opened his eyes and leaned over till our faces were inches apart.
“You own my heart,” I whispered one last time before leaning in and kissing his soft lips.
A sweet feeling went down my spine immediately I did that. He kissed me back, real nice and slow. Our kiss was gentle and passionate and never had I felt so relieved and happy. I wanted him so bad.
Asahd’s POV:
I was happy. Very happy. Finally. She loved me wholeheartedly. She had always loved me wholeheartedly, but now she’d confessed it.
She’d finally accepted it. I’d needed her to realise it. Saïda had always been the type to doubt her own feelings until she couldn’t deny them any longer. Because she was afraid of them. Of maybe committing a mistake.
But I was going to reassure her. I already had plans. She was going to be my wife, whether she got married to Noure first. But she would end up being my wife in this life. I saw no one else but Saïda. She would birth my kids. Whether with Noure or not. Even if it had to cost my throne. I didn’t care. I was ready to risk it all.
I kissed her like it was our last moment on earth. She kissed me back and I held her so close that I could feel her beating heart.
“I love you, darling,” I whispered against her pretty lips.
“I love you even more.”
Oh, I loved the sound of that.
“Oh yeah?” I smiled and she giggled softly, brushing her lips against mine.
“Mhm.”
“Pinch me, I’m dreaming,” I said and she laughed. “For real. You don’t know how crazy you drive me.” I kissed her again, not ready to let go.
I pulled up in front of the palace and the guards immediately rushed to open the doors. I gave Saïda a quick glance and she did same. I wished I could kiss her again and she probably wished same.
-
We entered the palace and reached the stairs.
“Will I see you tonight?” I asked lowly so the guards around would not hear. She blushed and smiled a little.
“Yeah. Why not. If I’m not too busy.”
I smirked and she blushed even more.
“Too busy for me?”
I could tell she wanted to laugh from the way her lips twitched to the side.
“You forget I also have other duties, my Prince,” she mused lowly. We were almost whispering and it was amusing.
“Okay miss,” I smiled and my eyes dropped to the lips I wanted to kiss again. “I really want to kiss you right now,” I confessed and she laughed a little.
“I want the same thing so bad,” she admitted and I smiled like a dumbass, making her laugh out.
“What’s so funny? What’s the gossip?” we heard Djafar as he walked into the room.
“Oh, nothing serious,” I mused and turned to him. “How are you, my dear Djafar?”
“Quite exhausted but how would you know?” he rolled his eyes and I laughed. “Since we returned and after your new found friendship with Saïda, you don’t even have my time anymore. You used to share gossips with me and now it’s with my daughter. The betrayal,” he acted playfully dramatic and we laughed.
“Father, that’s not true,” Saïda mused.
“Mmhm. Yeah right. You two are always whispering things, but oh well,” he shrugged and we laughed again.
He joined us.
“But it’s very fine by me. I’m happy you two finally get along this well.”
“Me too,” I smiled at Saïda who reddened a little.
“Anyway, your father is in the living room. Come along now, we have a lot to discuss concerning some of the sultanate’s new projects.”
“Ughh,” I was lazy as hell and rolled my eyes. “Now? Really? Do I have too?” I complained like a child.
“Yes, future sultan. Come on,” he laughed and pulled me along.
I didn’t even have the time to say one last thing to Saïda and so I waved. She laughed and waved back.
~~~~