No More Secrets

No More Secrets
Emmalee 
The sun rises and I haven't slept a wink. 
Who could sleep after what happened? 
The last few days have shaped me into someone unrecognizable because even the sight of her mangled corpse wasn't enough to vindicate her. The memory of Romain taking her over that desk will forever be etched into my memory. 
Even in death, Sasha will continue haunting me. 
I don't blame him, though. I know he did it to save me. That woman would've been glad to kill me and clear the path for her to live happily beside Romain. 
Sighing, I turn on my side. Romain's arm immediately tightens around me. He hasn't slept a wink, either. The room remains dark, though—only some light is entering through the cracks in the door, though not much. My guess is that the sky is overcast—not uncommon during this season. 
He presses a kiss to my nape. Despite everything I witnessed, warmth trickles down my spine before settling in my core, convincing me that there's nothing in this world that would ever make me stop wanting him. His lips find my skin again, brushing all along the sensitive spot while the arm around my middle pulls me impossibly closer to him. 
"I'm sorry," Romain says for the hundredth time. 
I turn my head to look at him. "I told you already—it wasn't your fault."
"It's the worst thing I ever fucking did," he admits, his voice low and hoarse. "I'm so fucking disgusted. I could chop my own dick off to rid myself of the feel of her."
For some reason, despite the gravity of the situation, I crack a smile and suppress a laugh at his statement. "Don't, please. I need it."
When his eyes meet mine and he sees the amusement in them, he inches even closer to me, his forehead resting against mine. I turn around fully, our fronts pressed together. I hook a leg over his hip and his left hand settles over my ass. 
Searching my eyes, he says, "Try not to see it every time you look at me. Please."
"I won't," I promise.
Our lips meet briefly, and when he pulls away, he states, "I'll have to find a way to take you out of here. I can't trust Fang. He's...fuck, Em. I don't know what he is."
"I don't, either."
"Sometimes I have a hard time believing he's my father. We just look alike. Nothing more. Everyone claims we're so similar but he's inherently selfish. I'm convinced the only reason he kept me near was to make me win this war for him."
"He told me he wanted to keep me from you because it would give you a reason to fight for."
"I imagined as much. The sick fuck."
"Am I the only reason you waged a war against Soren?" I ask.
Romain appears thoughtful for some time before saying, "Yes and no. I wanted it to stop. I wanted revenge, Em. They ruined my fucking life."
"Who could've done it?" I ask. "Soren denied it and he wouldn't have lied about that. Did the enforcers truly make a mistake?"
Romain shifts uncomfortably, going preternaturally still, and I instinctively know he's aware of the truth. "Tell me."
"What?"
"Don't do this," I plead. "Come on. You have to. I have the right to know—they ruined my life too, remember?"
"It's in the past, Emmalee."
"Not for me. Why are you keeping it from me? Who was it?"
His hand moves to my face. "I don't want this to be another weight you'll carry on your shoulders."
His answer instills fear in me. "Why? What do you mean? Goddess, tell me! I won't ask again."
He sits up and I do the same, my eyes on his face while my mind wanders. I try to imagine every possible person who could've done it. My bet is on Soren's father, Alpha Denver, but I don't see why he'd hesitate to tell me the old fuck was involved."
"It...it was your father, Em." 
The answer hits me from out of nowhere. A disbelieving "what" leaves my lips before I question, "How could it be him when he died too? That doesn't make any sense!"
Romain lays it all down on me, telling me the full story of how he found him with Nadia of all fucking people, and how he killed them. He hesitates, his voice lowering when he gets to that part. 
Afterward, silence falls upon us. 
He's waiting for me to tell him something—and I will, but right now, I'm too stunned to speak. I'm imagining father, a man I respected so much, doing something so horrible to his family just to live his dream with his lover. 
I'm sure they were lovers before it all happened. I recall seeing them in his office a few times but I was too young and distracted to pay attention to the signs. 
I won't even mention my mother. 
"Why didn't you want to tell me?" I ask Romain, my voice slightly shaky. "Is it because of who ruined our lives or the fact you killed him?"
"Both," he admits. 
"You did the right thing," I say right away. "I don't care that he was my father—that means absolutely nothing to me. What kind of father would do that to his children? He ruined my life. Now...goddess...now it makes sense why he wanted me to marry Soren so badly! Badly enough he suggested to Alpha Denver that our packs would be joined in case something happened to him. He had everything planned. He used me—used all of us." 
I'm nauseated by the time I'm done talking. Running a hand down my face, I turn my head to the side, focusing on breathing for a few beats. I give my head a shake, "I'm disappointed but so much shit has happened that this isn't the worst of it."
I have this sudden urge to tell Cade about our father and what he did to us, and that's when I remember he's dead. This realization pinches my heart slightly but I breathe through the pain. He betrayed me, too. 
My entire family was comprised of liars. 
"That's not all," Romain confesses. 
"Tell me everything," I claim. "Don't keep any secrets from me."
"Cade," he begins, and I keep the fact that I was just thinking about him to myself. Romain licks his lips, appearing troubled. "His death."
I close my eyes against the sharp stab of pain in my chest. I place a hand on Romain's chest to stop him from saying more. "I get it."
"Do you?" he asks softly. 
I nod vigorously. "Yes, I...Cade disappointed me, Romain. This whole time, he acted like he was by my side and when I needed him most, he chose Soren. Let him do what he wanted to me. But his betrayal still hurts. It really fucking hurts."
Romain wipes the stray tears that leak from my eyes. I once more breathe deeply. I can't think about that traitor, not now. 
If I open the waterworks, I'll drown in a pool of my own tears. It's too much—it's everything. There's a lot I can cry about and now isn't the time. 
He sighs. "That's not all."
This time, I can't believe it. "Oh, by the goddess. What now? What is it this time? For the love of the goddess, Romain, I can't—no, tell me. Again, no secrets. Regardless of how bad it is. Tell me. I can take it."
"You wanted me to find our son, and I did."
My eyes widen and my breath catches in my throat. "You did?"
He nods. "I did. But our meeting didn't go according to plan. I didn't tell him who I was and instead, tried to get him to come with me. Idiotically. He called me a rogue and blamed me for Cade's death, then he stabbed me. Threw the blade at me."
"The stab was...Brent did that to you?"
"Yes," he admits. 
I cover my mouth with both hands, horror washing over me. Romain nearly died by our son's hand. By the goddess, what have I done? How could I have let things go so far?
I start to tell him that we need to do something about it when a knock at the door interrupts me. We both jump at the sound. 
"Sorry to disturb you lovebirds," says Fang, "but we have some planning to do. I think you'll want to hear this. Both of you."