Chapter 114 114

Chapter 114 114
I cried until my eyes became heavy and drowsy, the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your bones and makes every movement feel like an impossible task. I didn't force myself to do anything anymore.

I didn't try to stop the tears, didn't try to be strong, didn't try to pull myself together for the sake of the celebration happening somewhere far below me. At this very moment, I was not strong. I was just a woman curled up on a rug, mourning a life that felt like it had been shattered a dozen times over. Eventually, the world faded away into a dark, dreamless void, and I cried myself to sleep right there on the floor.

When I finally woke up, the room was bright. I checked the time and realized it was midday; I had slept through the rest of the morning. My body was stiff from sleeping against the hard wood of the door, every muscle protesting as I picked myself up. I felt sluggish, my head throbbing with a dull ache that usually followed a night of heavy sobbing.

I moved slowly into the bathroom, my feet dragging. When I looked at myself in the mirror, the person staring back was a stranger. My makeup was a disaster, dark streaks of mascara staining my cheeks like war paint, and the sapphire jewelry—once so breathtaking—now looked like a mockery of the girl I had tried to be.

The moment I saw my reflection, all the memories came rushing back with a force that made me grip the edges of the sink. Every event that had led to me looking this way played behind my eyelids like a film I couldn't shut off. Most of all, Adrian's broken face flashed before my eyes. I could see the way his features had crumbled, the way his eyes had filled with a moisture that looked remarkably like genuine pain.

I tried to shake it off, splashing cold water on my face to shock my system, but the image kept coming back. Why did he refuse to accept my rejection? He had every opportunity to say the words and end the bond, to save face in front of the gathered Alphas and pack members.

Why did he look so regretful? Has he really changed?
I shook my head again, staring hard at my reflection. "No, of course not," I whispered to the empty room. He just wants me back because Sabrina’s gone. He wants a replacement, a placeholder to fill the void left behind. He’s an Alpha who hates losing what he thinks belongs to him. "Don't pity him," I told myself firmly. But even as my lips spoke the words, my body refused them. There was a lingering heat in my chest, a tether I couldn't quite cut, no matter how hard I sawed at it with my anger.

I began to pull the dress off my body, the fabric feeling heavy and suffocating now. As I stood there, another thought struck me, unbidden and irritating. He could have walked off when the crowd gathered. He could have reacted with the typical Alpha ego, trying to put me in my place to avoid embarrassment in front of his peers. He could have been cold. Instead, he had stood there and taken my blows, looking like he deserved every single one of them.
Maybe he really means it.

"Alexa, stop trying to guilt trip me," I blurted out, accusing my wolf. Her presence had been a low, thrumming hum in the back of my mind since I woke up.

"Maybe you should say that to your human heart," she responded, her tone laced with a bit of attitude. She wasn't hiding her feelings anymore; she was tired of the wall I’d built between us.
"He started this," I pressed, my voice rising in the quiet bathroom. "Have you forgotten so fast? Have you forgotten the humiliation? The way he stood by while we were cast out?"

Alexa went mute for just a second, letting my words hang in the air. Then, she spoke with a clarity that made me pause. "Look, Ash. I know and I remember everything he put us through. I felt the teeth of that rejection just as sharply as you did. But everything we know is from our perspective. We hate him because of what we saw, and what we thought, and what we still think. We are refusing to even accept what we’re seeing right now because we’re so afraid of being hurt again."

I stayed quiet, leaning my forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. I didn't know how to respond to that. It was easier to stay angry. Anger was a shield; it was a weapon. If I let go of the anger, I was vulnerable.
"I think we’re hurting us," Alexa continued softly. "We should talk to him. After all, it’s even now, isn't it? It’s fair. He rejected and humiliated us in his pack, and we’ve repaid him in kind, in front of everyone who matters. The debt is paid, Ash."

I listened to her, my heart beginning to beat with a different kind of rhythm. She wasn't asking me to forgive him, not exactly. She was asking me to stop the bleeding.
"Even if you still want to reject him," she added, her voice more reasonable than I had ever heard it, "I won't try to stop you. I’ll stand by you. But... talk to him. Don't scream at him, and please, don't ignore him again. Just hear what he has to say. Then decide."

"I can't promise anything, Alexa," I said, my voice sounding small. "You're going to make us look desperate. Like we’re just waiting for him to whistle so we can run back."
"No," she argued, "I’m being reasonable. There’s a difference."

I shook my head, but I could feel my heart lifting just a tiny bit. The suffocating weight of the anger was starting to shift, leaving room for something else—a cautious, terrifying curiosity. I didn't know if I could look him in the eye without wanting to scream again, but Alexa was right about one thing. The cycle had to stop somewhere, or we would both be haunted by these ghosts forever.

I reached for a towel and began to dry my face, wondering where he was and if he had stayed until now. The thought of him still being within the pack house walls made my skin tingle.