Sapphire
I stood frozen against the wall as I listened to Zade walk out of my apartment. My heart felt as though it was going to pound right out of my chest. What had I done?
I pushed my hand through my hair as the memories of everything that had happened came racing back. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I recalled how I had responded to Zade’s touch. It had been too much like old times for me to resist. All it had taken was one touch. It had always been that way. But everything I knew about him and after four years of convincing myself I was over him, I felt embarrassed to think he still had that power over me.
I rocked back and forth as raw panic rose up within me. This was exactly what I had been afraid of all along. Some instinct deep down had told me the second Zade and I ever crossed this bridge, all pretenses at animosity would be gone. My desire for Zade still ran deep. And if his response last night had been anything to go by, he wanted me as much as I did him.
I turned to look at my phone. I should call Dayton back and explain. He had just called to update me about something I had asked him to do yesterday and I had gone and confused him by calling him Randy and babbling on about wearing the red dress. Poor guy thought I had been kidnapped and was trying to give him a secret message.
It was the only thing I could think of to push Zade away. I had to admit that lashing out at him had been a defense mechanism. But how else could I have responded? If I had not chased him away just now, we would be rolling in my bed right now.
I pressed my palms against my heated cheeks and cringed at how wanton I had been with him last night. I had enjoyed every second of it.
I fled from the sight and smell of my unmade bed into the living room. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, I stared into space, my thoughts racing.
I had had no intention of telling Zade about the baby, but in the heat of the emotions last night, all that suppressed pain had come tumbling out. I could not shake the feeling that he was not gone for good. It would only be a bit of a reprieve. So all this time he had held my absence from the trial against me. I wondered, though, had I not been in the hospital if I would have attended, given I was still reeling from his betrayal.
As for that, he had continued to deny any knowledge of any other woman. But photos do not lie. And I still had one of those as proof. I realized I should have confronted him with the photo, but I had been too emotional to think clearly.
Memories of how it had felt to have him inside me once more filled my mind. We had always been dynamic in bed, and last night proved on that point, at least, we were still in sync. Why did it have to feel so good to feel him inside me? I could still feel the ghost of his tongue eating me out last night and my nipples tightened painfully.
“No. No. No. You can’t be having these thoughts,” I scolded myself, as I felt the wetness grow between my legs.
I jumped up from the couch and walked to the bathroom. Getting into the shower, I turned it on as cold as I could stand and stepped underneath the icy spray. I allowed it to beat me until all traces of desire left me. I was not really into torture so I ran it hot again, before I soaped my body and stepped out.
Somehow, I managed to resist the urge to bring the sheets to my face to see if I could catch the last lingering scent of him as I hastily stuffed them into the washer. I thought, instead, about the insulting offer he put on the table. Money in exchange for sex. How dare he? As if I was some cheap prostitute he picked up off the street, and his parting words were like rubbing salt into an open wound.
True there was no way I could deny I’d not been turned on last night. My body had betrayed me and he knew I wanted him, but there was no way I was going to let him think that. I hated being in the position of feeling as though I was on a rollercoaster. I hated having my emotions toyed with and that was exactly what Zade was doing. But I would show him!
There was a way around my problem.
Randy.
Outside of his company, Randy was a wealthy man. His family was one of the wealthiest in the city and he had a hefty trust fund. I frowned when I remembered Zade’s insinuation that Randy thought I was a gold digger. If I were truly a gold digger as Zade imagined, I would have chosen Randy over him. And in the years I’d known Randy, I’d never once asked him for anything. Apart from birthday gifts, I’d never taken anything from him either. Maybe Zade was trying to lay the blame for his perceptions of me on someone else.
Randy had always been kind to me and always told me to come to him if ever I needed help. I would give him the chance to help, not just me, but the school, that he had always said he felt great gratitude for, to come up with any small shortfall in the budget.
Taking a deep breath I sent Randy a text. I was deliberately vague, saying only that I needed to talk to him soon. His reply was instantaneous.
Randy: Saw your message, hon. What’s up?
Me: I’m in a bit of a bind. Can we meet up sometime? I need to talk to you. I need a favor.
Randy: Sure. What kind of favor? :)
I pondered if I should have this discussion via text message. I typed back.
Me: I’d rather not discuss it via text. This needs a sit-down conversation.
Randy: Sounds like a lunch date to me. lol.
I scrunched up my face. I really would have preferred just going to his office, but beggars could not be choosers. I sighed and bit the bullet.
Me: Sure. No problem.
Randy: Great. I’m out of town right now. Be back sometime on Wednesday. Thursday okay with you?
School would be out for the summer after Wednesday. Thursday was perfect.
Me: That’s fine with me.
Randy: Excellent. See you Thursday. Btw, I’m at a vineyard, would you like white or red?
I was taken aback by the question.
Me: Ummm. Neither. I’m good. Thanks.
Randy: Okay. I’m leaving on Wednesday if you change your mind.
Me: Okay. Thanks
Randy: See you Thursday.
Me: Fine.
I stared at the phone. I hoped I was not making a mistake. Randy’s interest in me was not lost on me, but unfortunately, I just could not wrap my head around being in a relationship with him. He simply did not elicit those kinds of feelings in me.
The next week ran off and I kept silent about the state of the finances of the project. I hung my hopes on Randy, hoping that he would give me the balance needed. Last night he had sent me the name of the restaurant where we would meet at twelve-thirty. Trust Randy to choose one of the most expensive and exclusive places in the city that went by reservations only. I arrived early and was pleased to find that just using Randy’s name saw me being ushered to a table set on a dais in a corner. I had not relished the thought of waiting in my car and having to run the air conditioner unnecessarily. Ten minutes later as I continued to sip my water, Randy arrived.
He looked as he always did. Not a blond hair was out of place, not even when he slid his sunglasses off and the rim caught in his temple. Today he wore dark slacks and a crisp white shirt tucked inside. The neck of the shirt was open and I could see faint tufts of light curls. He smiled as he approached, his even teeth gleaming. I was overcome by a wave of cologne as he leaned down to brush his lips against my cheek before taking his seat across from me.
“Saph! Sweetheart!” he exclaimed as he slid a bag across to me.
I raised my eyebrows.
“I know you said no, but I did it anyway.”
“What’s this?” I murmured as I peered inside the bag.
“Whiteandred since you could not decide. It’s from their rare collection. Maybe one day you’ll invite me to dinner and we can share a bottle.” He smiled once more and I felt as though the small smile I had pasted on my lips was frozen there.
“We’ll see,” I murmured as I slid the bag to the seat beside me. I felt as though neon signs were pointing at my mouth, flashing the words ‘FAKE!’.
He laughed. “Well, you didn’t say no, so that’s a step in the right direction.”
He raised his hand and a waiter appeared almost immediately. To my surprise he rattled off an order for both of us. I pushed down the annoyance at his presumptuous behavior and waited until the waiter left before saying anything.
“I could have ordered for myself,” I said as lightly as I could.
“I know that, but I also know you would have tried to be polite since I’m paying and order something that’s not too pricey. I wanted you to have the best today. They make an amazing steak and I promise you, you’re going to love it.”
He leaned across and took my hand in his. It felt uncomfortable and discreetly I slipped my hand from his under the pretense of reaching for my phone and putting it into my purse before looking up at him.
“I’m in a bit of a bind, Randy, and I really wouldn’t be asking you if it wasn’t necessary. I can’t think of anyone else who can help.”
“What is it, hon?”
“We might be a little short on funds to complete the renovation project.”
He leaned forward, his eyes glittering. “I thought Zade was going to make up the slack?”
“Well, he gave us the bulk, but I have a feeling some of those costs in the budget are underestimated.”
“And he won’t cover it?”
“Um?”
“He’s not going to cover the entire shortfall,” he pounced victoriously. “I knew you couldn’t trust him. What did I tell you? He’s all mouth. I told you, Sapphire. He’s not a man of his word. To be honest I don’t think he even has that kind of money. It’s all smoke and mirrors… unless, of course, he’s stealing it from hard working folks like me.”
“It’s not exactly the case. He will cover the costs, but… er… he has some conditions to which I’d rather not agree.”
A strange look crossed his eyes. “Conditions? Such as?”
I shifted uncomfortably. Perhaps this was a bad idea, after all. “He… uh… wants us to be in a relationship again.”
“Over my dead body,” he exploded suddenly.
I looked around to see if other diners were looking our way at Randy’s strange outburst.
“You didn’t agree, did you?” he asked harshly.
“I wouldn’t be here asking for your help if I did, Randy.”
“Good. Good. Yes, you did the right thing coming to me. Of course, I’ll help. The nerve of him! After what he did to you, did he really think he could pick up where things had left off?”